She went to the window and looked out at the half-done garden, the apples all over the ground, the blackbird dancing along the back fence.
‘It just reminded me of everything I hate about that world. I know not every agent is like Paul and not every co-star is like Jessica, but I already have my happily ever after. Why would I throw it all away for a long-run eight shows a week in London?’
‘Don’t do it for me, Lily,’ said Nick. ‘You have to be sure this is what you want. I told you I would go anywhere with you.’
Lily looked up at the picture on the mantelpiece of her and Gran with their daisy chains on their heads and the piano net to the window and Mr Mistoffelees purring on the chair.
‘I’m home, Nick, so hurry home to me as soon as you can. I want to get this show on the road. I have so much I want to do here in the cottage and in the garden. I want to make a life here.’
‘Did Gran leave you the cottage?’ Nick asked innocently and Lily stopped.
‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I hadn’t even thought about it. God, what if Dad wants to sell it. I will have to try and buy it. Would he let me buy it?’ she asked, feeling panic rise up in her throat at the thought of losing the cottage.
What if this was all for nothing? All these hopes and dreams and the cottage was never going to be hers?
She couldn’t even bear to think about it.
40
Lily stood outside the village hall where she was holding a box of the order of service she’d had printed for the funeral the next day. She was waiting for Jasper to come so she could put them inside. The cold air producing little clouds from her breath was making her almost jump up and down on the spot to keep warm.
‘Lily,’ she heard and she turned and saw Jessica striding towards her.
‘Please don’t. I am not in the mood to hear anything from you, Jessica. I don’t know what your issue is with me, but you need to leave me alone.’
‘Why aren’t you auditioning in London?’
‘Because I don’t want to,’ said Lily. ‘I know you sent Paul up to try and get me out of the village so you could be with Nick.’
Jessica laughed. ‘No, I sent Paul up because you are better than this village and this stupid society. Why are you wasting your talent here?’
‘What exactly is your problem with me?’ Lily asked, putting the box on the ground.
‘My problem with you is that you’re wasting your talent, that you aren’t meeting your potential,’ Jessica said, throwing her hands up in the air.
Lily blew air out of her cheeks, not just because she was cold but also at Jessica’s words.
‘Do you know what the problem is with saying people aren’t meeting their potential?’
Jessica crossed her arms. ‘No. Enlighten me.’
‘When people say things like that, it’s not that they think the person has true potential, it’s just that you think what you would do if you were me. This is only about you wanting to be able to sing, not actually about me at all.’
‘That doesn’t make any sense,’ sneered Jessica.
‘No it does – think about it. You want me to get away from here, from Nick, which means that you have won, except you didn’t factor in two things.’
‘What’s that?’ Jessica sniffed at her.
A light drizzle was starting to fall, making Jessica’s hair glow in the light.
‘One – Nick said he would come with me wherever I decided to go: London, Asia, Broadway. He only said he didn’t want to leave because he didn’t want to leave with you.’
Lily saw Jessica’s face fall and part of her felt bad for a moment and then it disappeared.
‘And two – you are acting as though he has no free will in this, as though you are some sort of siren who will sweep him up again. He’s not your toy, Jessica, so stop playing with everyone and work out your own life. And stop lying and sabotaging people for your own benefit. Keep your acting for the stage, because that’s the only place it belongs.’
‘Everything all right?’ Lily turned and saw Jasper at her side. Bernadette was on a leash, wearing a tiny pink fake fur coat with a hood and she didn’t look thrilled about it either, Lily noticed.
