‘Do you mean me?’ he asked.
‘Somewhat, but also, I had to decide what I wanted to do for me, not for you or for my mum or for anyone really.’
‘And you are teaching?’
‘I start on Monday, at a school in Silverton. It’s only part-time but that’s fine for now,’ she said.
‘I love that. I’m so happy for you. You will be amazing,’ he said.
‘Thank you.’ They were quiet for a while.
‘Lily, listen,’ he said and turned to her.
She turned to face him.
‘I wasn’t engaged to Jessica. We went out for six months but she was so intense, so quickly, and she spoke about marriage and children, but I told her that it was a bit soon. It was kind of weird actually, and she just went on and on about it, and when I said something she would fly off the handle. So I stopped saying anything and broke it off. I told her I wasn’t ready for a relationship but then I met you and I was, I really was ready for one with you, and she became nasty. I can deny it till the end of days but it’s true and you have to decide if I’m of good character or not and you believe me.’
Lily brushed her dress of invisible lint.
‘I don’t think it matters anymore,’ she said. ‘I just want to do the show and help Jasper out. And then I will just live my little life, which I am actually looking forward to. I don’t want to restart anything while we’re in the show. I need to be focused and I can’t go through any drama again.’
‘So you’re saying we might be able to maybe start again after the show?’ Nick asked, his eyes hopeful.
‘I don’t know – maybe, maybe not. You might be sick of me by then,’ she half joked.
Nick gave a short laugh. ‘I doubt it. I have missed you every day,’ he said. ‘And Gran also. Gee she was firm with me when I came to the cottage. She might be ninety-seven but she’s still terrifying.’
Lily couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Yes, she keeps me in my place.’
‘Is she well?’ he asked.
‘She’s good,’ said Lily with a sigh. ‘Speaking of which, I need to get back to her.’ She stood up. ‘Friends?’ she asked. ‘For now?’
Nick nodded and smiled at her. ‘I will never not be your friend, Lily, now and forever.’
She smiled and then walked back to her car at the village hall, wondering why she felt so deeply sad, as if something she had was lost and she knew it was never coming back.
27
Her alarm went at six thirty in the morning, jolting her awake from a very nice dream about Nick and a picnic blanket under a tree. She sighed as Mr Mistoffelees clawed her legs through the covers, looked furious at Lily.
‘Ouch, don’t,’ she told him off and hopped out of bed and opened the curtains.
It was her first week of teaching and she was getting used to the new routine and early starts.
‘Don’t look at me like that. You can nap all day; I have to go to work,’ she told the cat. ‘This is my first week and I want to be there early to make a good impression.’
But Lily couldn’t lie that it was tiring. Between getting up early and making sure everything was ready for Gran, and her lunch was made and ready for her in the fridge and breakfast was set out, plus then coming home and making dinner or going to rehearsals, Lily was so tired, she had no time to even think about anything else.
Lily showered and dressed and then went downstairs, fed the cat and let him out for a while in garden, which had been left neglected again since she had started back at the show and working.
She boiled the kettle and set the table when she heard the sound of Gran’s cough reverberating throughout the cottage. Over the course of the last few days, it had become increasingly severe, a recurrent rumble that caused Lily more anxiety than she would have liked to admit.
She walked upstairs and tapped on the door and opened it and saw Gran sitting up in bed, in her pale blue nightgown, her grey hair tousled.
‘Morning, love,’ Gran said and then burst into another spasm of coughing.
‘That sounds terrible,’ she said.
