‘That’s okay, Andrew knows everything. Just tell him what song and in what key and you can start,’ Sheila instructed with a toss of her teal and purple paisley pashmina over her shoulder.
Lily stood still, thinking of what song to sing.
‘“So in Love” fromKiss Me, Katein G# major?’
She glanced at the rickety upright piano where Andrew sat, poised to begin. His fingers hovered over the keys, waiting for her nod. Lily’s mouth felt dry, her palms clammy. What if her voice failed her again? What if she opened her mouth and nothing came out, just like that disastrous day in London?
He nodded and started to play the introduction.
She knew the song so well. It was one she used to sing with Gran when they would put on theKiss Me, Katemovie soundtrack when she was small, and she would sing every role, but she loved the role of Kate the most.
The chatter of the room had died down to an expectant hush, and she could feel every pair of eyes boring into her. Her heart hammered against her ribs, threatening to burst free.Please don’t let me down,she silently asked her voice.
Taking a shaky breath, she looked out into the audience. Most faces were a blur, but one stood out clearly: Nick. He sat in the front row, his kind eyes fixed on her, a reassuring smile on his face. He gave her a subtle thumbs up, and something in Lily’s chest loosened just a fraction. Why did he have to be so handsome? At least it was distracting enough to make her stop worrying about what might or might not come out of her mouth.
Lily closed her eyes, allowing the familiar melody to wash over her. When she opened them again, she fixed her gaze on Nick, using him as an anchor in the sea of her anxiety.
As the moment for her to begin approached, Lily felt a flutter of panic. But then Nick mouthed, ‘You’re fine,’ and somehow, impossibly, she believed him.
Lily opened her mouth, and to her amazement, her voice emerged – clear, strong, and full of emotion.
The words flowed from her, each note ringing true. As she sang, the world around her faded away. There was no audience, no judging eyes, just the music and the story she was telling.
Her voice swelled with the crescendo, years of training and passion pouring out of her. In that moment, Lily remembered why she had fallen in love with singing in the first place. It wasn’t about the applause or the bright lights of the West End. It was about this – the pure joy of losing herself in a song. She remembered singing it in Pippin Cottage to Gran, who told her she had something special, that she could do something few others could do, that her voice brought Gran joy.
As she hit the final note, holding it with a control and power that surprised even her, Lily realised that tears were threatening to fall and she ducked her head as the last piano notes faded away, and for a moment, there was absolute silence.
Then, the hall erupted in applause. Lily blinked, coming back to herself. She saw Nick on his feet, clapping wildly, his face beaming with pride. The rest of the room followed suit, a standing ovation from this small but appreciative audience.
Except Jessica and Sheila who sat, slightly smiling, clapping somewhat less enthusiastically.
Lily felt a smile break across her face, a real, genuine smile that reached her eyes. For the first time since leaving London she felt confident again. Her voice wasn’t broken, she’d just needed a break.
10
Violet sat in her armchair after Nick and Lily had gone. The cat was sitting on the sofa, staring at her.
‘What are you looking at?’ she asked the animal with a raised brow. The cat turned its back and settled into the seat with a flick of his tail.
Plans were afoot, she thought.
Lily was at the audition.
Violet traced the lip of her mug of tea with her fingers as she grinned quietly to herself. Her voice wasn’t lost, she was lost. There is a difference, she thought. It was a shame Lily had lost herself and her inner knowledge. As a child she’d had such a strong sense of self. When did she lose that, Violet wondered? Was it before college or after? Was it Denise or was it someone else? She knew how much Denise wanted success for Lily but it would only come if Lily wanted that for herself.
Lily had always been an entertainer, a singer. Even as a little child, she could not resist playing music, her voice carefree and bright. However, life has a way of fading that brilliance and making people doubt the things that came so naturally when it becomes a burden.
But things were changing.
Violet had noticed the shift in Lily’s demeanour when Nick came into the house. Oh there was chemistry there, real chemistry.
It made her think of Martin. Nick reminded her of Martin and his kind ways. She didn’t dabble in romantic affairs, but she had seen enough in her life to recognise when two people were meant to be together.
She had been feeling in her bones for some time now that her days were getting shorter, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she had left. Not that she would have said that to Lily or Peter. No one needed to hear such things. It was better that life was full so when she went there were other things to distract them.
Nothing worse than when people can’t get over the death of someone. Life goes on, no matter what, she always said.
But she knew things needed to be arranged in a way to ensure that Lily would be happy in her life when Violet died, despite the grief she knew Lily would experience. She needed to have a life she thought was worth living, and Violet wondered if the one Lily was living now was something she wanted to be a part of.
