Diana looked up at him. ‘Is it rewarding?’ She smiled.
Joe shook his head. ‘Not often. People come with their minds made up and they usually have their hopes smashed. Nature, nurture, I don’t know, but be open to her not wanting this. She seemed angry.’
‘Thank you, that’s good advice,’ Diana said, and Joe left her in the lobby.
The meeting was to take place at the Heckscher Playground at midday and Diana decided to walk there to calm her nerves. She had a photograph of Wendy and Amanda that Joe had given her from an event at the day care centre where Amanda went.
Diana didn’t ask how he came to have the photo but it was her most treasured possession now.
It was autumn in New York and the song played in Diana’s head as she made her way to the park, noticing the leaves turning yellow and red and the cool air, making it almost cold when she was in the shade.
The sound of children playing took over the sound of the traffic as Diana entered the garden from 7th Avenue and she looked around for a red-headed woman and child but couldn’t see anyone that matched the description.
Finding a seat in the sunshine, Diana sat, watching the children climb the play equipment and fly down the slides. There was a very elaborate game of hopscotch being played with some girls wielding sticks of chalk like swords and some boys playing basketball at the far end of the playground near the hoops.
It’s little empire,she thought as she watched all the energy and imagination play out in front of her.
‘Diana?’ She turned to see a woman had come up to her.
She held her hand up to block out the sun so she could see the woman.
‘Wendy?’
‘Yes, I understand you are looking for me.’
Diana gestured to the seat next to her. ‘Yes, I’ve been looking for you since you were born.’ She smiled and tried to push down the tears that were threatening to fall.
Wendy leaned over so Diana could see into her blue eyes.Douglas’s eyes,she thought.
‘I don’t know why you gave me up, or why you want to see me now, but know this: the people you gave me to were horrendous. There was a reason they couldn’t have children, as though biology, or God, or something had stepped in and said no to them having their own. And they were denied by multiple adoption agencies. You gave me away privately to people who should never have been around children.’
Diana tried to speak but Wendy put up her hand. ‘Hearing from you, and your shady private detective has been traumatic for me and I never want to hear from you again. You will not meet my daughter, and you won’t be a part of our lives. The mere fact you were so irresponsible in the first place, and then gave me away to strangers to save your reputation, tells me everything I need to know about you.’
Diana was silent.
‘I will tell my daughter what a horrible woman you are, what a selfish nasty woman who gave a baby to people she never met so she could wear pretty dresses again and marry a rich man.’
Diana looked at Wendy, so full of pain and anger, and rightly so. She knew those very feelings.
‘I could tell you I didn’t know you were being taken away. I could tell you my father signed the adoption certificate without my knowledge. I could tell you I planned to bring you home and love you, that I already loved you before you were born, and I could tell you that I never recovered. I never married, and I never wore pretty dresses again, but I don’t think it would change anything for you.’ Diana heard her voice crack and she cleared her throat.
‘I have a house, in England, it’s the family home. I want to leave it to you.’
Wendy gave a half-laugh but it was bitter. ‘I don’t want your house. I don’t want anything from you other than for you to leave me alone. My daughter and I have a lovely life here, better than anything I could have had in Britain. She’s American and she won’t want anything you have to offer.’
They stared at each other for a moment.
‘Please, I ask only one thing of you,’ Diana said. ‘Whatever you think of me is one thing, but please don’t poison Amanda towards me. She doesn’t need to grow up carrying her mother’s pain. It’s not fair to her.’
‘Now you’re telling me how to parent?’ Wendy crossed her arms.
‘No, I’m telling you to let your daughter find out for herself one day, if she chooses to. God knows I didn’t have any choice when I was a child. Please don’t repeat the legacy.’
Wendy was silent and then she nodded. ‘Fine. But I will never tell her I met you. I won’t mention you at all.’
‘Thank you,’ Diana said.
‘Okay, goodbye,’ Wendy said, turning and walking in the direction from which she had come.
