‘You can go whenever you want. They will fund your ticket as part of the prize.’
Amanda sat up. ‘What?’
‘What?’ said Lainie, her hands on her hips. ‘It’s not like you have so many amazing options here. Go and see the house, meet some people, get out of New York. This city is filled with rats and rodents. The rats being the shitty men we date.’
Amanda nodded. ‘Yeah, I got that, but you can’t be serious about this. What if I’m being trafficked?’
Lainie took out her phone and typed and then showed Amanda the screen. ‘It’s a real house.’
Amanda peered at the screen. ‘God, it’s gorgeous.’
‘And it’s yours,’ said Lainie. ‘You really want to live in a shared house when you could live here?’
Amanda looked at the boxes around her. She thought about sharing a tiny apartment with one bathroom with two strangers. Trying to find a job in a city that she was falling out of love with, and now her mom was gone there was nothing keeping her here.
‘So you think it’s a real thing?’ Amanda asked. ‘You think I should go?’
‘What’s the worst that can happen?’ Lainie asked. ‘It’s not like things are set in stone here. Take a break, see the house, pull some weeds, take some time to think and mourn your mom.’
Amanda thought for a long moment. ‘You’re right,’ she said eventually.
‘Are you serious? Don’t mess with me.’ Lainie fist-pumped the air and danced on the bed again. ‘This is the most exciting thing to happen since…’ She paused as though trying to think of a comparable time. ‘Since ever.’
Amanda looked around the piles of mess and thought about trying to find a job, living with strangers and seeing the ghost of her mom on every street corner. The idea of it all made her feel physically ill.
‘Maybe I should just go and see what I can find out,’ she said, barely believing she was saying the words.
‘You have to try. It’s the last thing your mom ever gave you, and you can’t give it back; that would be rude. Besides, I think you’re too good for this city. You’re so kind and gentle and sweet and caring. This city eats people like you for breakfast.’
Amanda gave a small laugh and looked at the photo of her and her mom on the nightstand.
‘Well, I would never be rude to my mother, I was too well raised,’ she said in a British accent and Lainie jumped off the bed and pulled her into a hug.
‘It’s all going to be okay. Your mom is looking after you, I promise.’
If Amanda held her eyes closed tightly enough, she just might believe it.
6
Simon
Simon stayed one night in the Sinking Ship Inn pub, paying for a small room that had a double bed, an old cupboard for his clothes and a folding chair. His feet hung off the bed and he had nightmares all night that Anika and Charlie were under the bed, planning to cut off his toes.
In the morning, he tied his boots extra tight, paid his bill and headed over to Moongate Manor.
He wasn’t sure why he agreed to stay for the summer. Maybe he was tired of running, maybe he needed to rest for a while and gather his thoughts. He couldn’t keep on riding his motorbike through Britain pretending nothing had happened.
But Diana had almost told him he was staying, or had she? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was he had agreed and now he was going to live in a shed for three months and pull an overgrown garden apart. He wasn’t a gardener; he wasn’t anything anymore. But had he even ever wanted to work in finance? He didn’t particularly like the job but he liked the monetary rewards. His mother always told him he liked being outside as a child, and to find a job that honoured that. Instead he had stared at a screen all day. His only break was taking a holiday where he would then stare at his phone. He was so tired of technology. He was tired of trying to know everything, of the constant communication and endless scrolling. He thought of scrolling the internet or on his phone like galaxies within galaxies. He would never know it all and there was no ending. The content was being repeatedly updated and he was exhausted.
Now he had no reason to scroll and no reason to stay up-to-date.
Simon wasn’t one to have regrets in life, except when it came to letting his business partner Charlie take control of the finances for their company. Charlie had told him he had it all under control, but he’d been siphoning it off for himself.
And Simon had trusted him, signing documents whenever Charlie asked and not inquiring after his own money. All while Charlie had been cheating with Anika behind Simon’s back. God, he felt like a fool. How could he ever show his face in London again? He was an embarrassment. The poster boy of idiots.
As he rode towards the old house, he wondered if he should keep on riding, pretend he had never stopped there in the first place, but Simon was a man of his word, despite his need to run away from his life. That was his virtue and his downfall, his mother had always told him. He needed to find balance but how?
When he arrived at Moongate, he went to the gatehouse as Diana had directed him. All he had on him was his backpack holding a few changes of work clothes, toiletries and a pair of sneakers, and the boots he was wearing. Not exactly gardening wear but he could look into that later, he thought as he waited outside the house. The air was cold for early June and he wondered when Summer would arrive in Northumberland. Perhaps he should have headed down to Cornwall.
