‘I like him. He’s a nice man,’ she answered, as she rinsed out the cast-iron pot.
‘No, I meanlikes youlikes you.’
‘Don’t be silly – he’s just being polite.’
‘Edward isn’t polite to anyone, so I think he’s into you.’
Eve shook her head. ‘He’s just being kind because I’m working on his book, that’s all. We have a good professional relationship. Not everyone who gets along well is in love with each other.’
Myles sighed and patted Jimmi. ‘Sometimes I wish you were my mom.’
Eve was silent. She would never say that she wished she was his mother also, and Flora’s, and that she and Edward were together and that living at Cranberry Cross was some obscure fantasy of a literary bucolic paradise that would never exist in reality.
‘You have a mum,’ she said gently. ‘And although it might seem like she’s far away…’
‘She is far away; she’s in America,’ he scoffed.
‘I mean mentally, emotionally, I think she loves you very much.’
Myles rolled his eyes. ‘I know exactly who my mom is, yet every adult I know tries to convince me otherwise. As though I’m stupid. They want her to care because it makes them feel better about the fact my mother hates me, because it means they look at themselves and wonder if their mother loves them or if they even love their own children.’
Eve put down the washcloth and dried her hands on a tea towel and sat down opposite him.
‘I think that’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about anything and I have worked with a lot of smart people.’
Myles shrugged.
‘No really, I think you’re right.’
She sat back and thought about what he’d said. He was right. People didn’t want to hear what children say let alone their opinion on parenting by their parents. Some parents were shitty by nature and Amber Priest seemed to be one of them, addiction or not.
‘I know Edward loves you,’ she said.
Myles shrugged again. ‘Maybe but it doesn’t matter. I have Jimmi now.’ He leaned down and kissed the dog’s head.
‘It does matter,’ Eve said. ‘You matter to Edward and Flora, to Hil and to me, and now to the twins. They have been annoying me about you, wondering when you’re coming back.’
Myles looked up, his eyes sparkling. ‘Really? I mean I talk to them a bit but I didn’t want to ask them if they like me cos that would be lame.’
‘They like you, you big loser.’
‘Takes one to know one,’ he said and they smiled at each other.
‘You’re a good person,’ she said. ‘Jimmi is lucky to have you.’
‘And Edward is lucky to have you,’ said Myles and he paused. ‘We all are.’
Eve looked down at her hands, afraid he would see her tears. Everyone in this house was desperate for love in a way that made her heart ache. She might be the child of bus drivers and went to a state school and worked through school to pay for any extras but her house was filled with love. She had parents who listened and who tried to improve their own lives so they could provide more for their family. It wasn’t that Edward didn’t provide but he was emotionally stunted in a way white men who grew up with money often were. He didn’t have to try to understand because his money was enough of a bargaining chip. He thought he could solve everything with money. Myles’s depression, Flora’s loss of her mother, Amber’s addiction. If he just stopped for a moment and saw the emotional needs of those around him, then he might not be in this mess.
But it wasn’t her problem, she reminded herself. None of this was her problem and once the book was delivered she would be able to take her promotion and never work with Edward Priest again.
So why did that make her feel so sad?
25
Edward clipped Flora’s seatbelt tight in the back of the car, as Myles put his on and clipped Jimmi into his special seat between them.
‘Jimmi has his own belt now,’ said Flora patting the puppy’s head.
