Carlotta and Grace sat forward, listening to him. He seemed in a trance now, back in his memories.
‘I thought we would marry when she came back from Paris. I asked her before but she said to wait till she had seen the world. She had wanted to sleep with me before but I told her to wait till we were married. She was so filled with longing and desire for the world and I pushed her away, stuck in tradition and the expectations of our families.’
‘So what happened?’ asked Carlotta impatiently.
‘She married Leon and moved away. She started Pajaro and she and Leon borrowed the money from her father. The only way I could see her again was to offer my services as her attorney. I did it so I could see her.’
Violetta nodded, encouraging him to continue.
‘She was happy and Pajaro started well but soon Leon was having affairs. All she wanted to do was to be a mom but Leon was never there and he told her he didn’t want children. She was shattered. After a few years she and I became friends once more. I would visit and she would come down to Georgia. It was like old times and I suppose we fell in love again. Then Leon came to Georgia and dragged her back to New York.’
‘Why didn’t she stay with you?’ asked Grace.
‘Because she was married to Leon, she made a promise to him, and somehow she thought it might work. I was devastated and wrote her an angry letter telling her to stay away from me, to stop breaking my heart.’
Violetta nodded at him. ‘I understand.’
‘And then she found out she was pregnant. She was sick, so sick, her mother told me. In and out of hospital and then she had you all, early. Leon, who had at first said he never wanted children, was proud he had fathered three at once and Birdie, happy to have him satisfied for once, stayed with him. All because my stupid pride kept her away,’ he said regretfully.
‘So what happened then?’ asked Carlotta.
‘We weren’t in contact until her father died and then she came for the funeral. As her father’s attorney, I had to speak to her and we became friends again. Nothing more, she was loyal to Leon, and that’s when I met you, when you were three,’ he said, smiling at them.
‘Did you think we might be yours?’ asked Grace.
‘Perhaps, I had hoped, but she was staying with Leon so it didn’t matter.’
‘It would have mattered to us,’ said Carlotta bitterly, remembering Leon’s temper.
‘Your mother made her choice and I made mine. We started a new friendship that was about you three. I loved being with you all,’ he said, smiling at them.
‘What happened before she went into hospital?’ asked Violetta, putting the pieces together in her mind. ‘What happened, Spencer? I know something did. I saw her for lunch a few weeks before and she was different. Something happened between her and Leon.’
Spencer paused and pulled out a dining chair. He sat on it heavily. He seemed tired and defeated.
‘Your mother and I started up again. I guess we couldn’t leave it unfinished and I told her I regretted what had happened long ago. She made the decision to leave Leon. She told me she was going to tell you, Letty, when she had lunch with you. She said that you would be the most understanding, that you were the most non-traditional of the girls.’
When he smiled at her Violetta felt guilty for her selfish behaviour that day. Her mother needed her support and she had been a brat.
‘We had a fight and she never ended up telling me,’ Violetta told them.
‘She had put everything in order and finally found the courage to tell Leon. She had learned of Matthew and his mother, and she’d had enough. She said she wanted a new life. She wanted to be back at Pajaro and to bring you in, Letty. Leon, I guess, knew he would be screwed without her. She owned the majority of the company and he was going to be ousted. He panicked and hit her, from what the police have worked out.’
The girls were silent, each absorbed in their own thoughts. Grace looked at Violetta finally and they shared a brief smile. It was hard to hear from Spencer yet it made sense.
‘Did you ever ask Mom if we were yours?’ asked Grace.
‘No. It was none of my business and unless she shared it then I chose to remain silent. I tried to help in other ways but I didn’t want to force her to do anything. I made that mistake once and I lost her,’ he said sadly.
Carlotta stood up and paced the room. ‘I can’t fucking believe this. I can’t believe that you would leave us with such a prick of a man when you even thought for a moment that you might be our father.’
‘That’s still not proven, Carlotta,’ said Violetta sternly.
‘So what are you saying, Letty? Mom whored herself about? If we are not Leon’s children then we must be Spencer’s. I cannot imagine that Mom was fucking just anyone.’
‘Carlotta, stop it!’ cried Grace.
‘Why, why should I stop it? asked Carlotta. ‘Spencer, you go and do that test and then we will talk, OK?’ She picked up her bag and stood in the doorway. ‘Until then I don’t want to hear from any of you.’ And she slammed the door after her.
