“That’s fucking weird.”
“I always thought so, but you could not press my mother.”
“No, I understand, she would act out, so you learned to be careful around her.”
“I will tell you something Drekkoril refuses to believe. I wanted to summon my bemollo since I was a child. I thought to have a friend, and we would exist without the fighting between my parents and theirs. I begged my mother so many times in my youth. By my teenage years, I had dropped the subject. She would fly into rages, and I was growing convinced by that point that bemollos were not such a good thing.”
“She manipulated you into thinking that, Rorie. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
“It is history now. I am happy to have Drekkoril and pleased that we are finding some common ground. We do not have that many hours of the day together as he is busy as Noble Protector, but I am glad we are not enemies.”
“I like him. I think he’s nice.”
“I have also found him to be so. My eyes and ears are open to the world around me now, and I have learned more in this dream than in my twenty-eight years of being awake.”
“You brought up the dream, so let’s talk about the elephant in the room.”
“What is an elephant?”
“Big, gray animal with an awesome trunk. Not important right now, but I’ll show you one on the computer when we wake up.”
“If it is not important, then why bring one into the conversation?”
Renny chuckled. “It’s a figure of speech.”
“An odd one. Why discuss an imaginary elephant?”
“Rorie, what the fuck are we going to do about us?”
“It is something we must decide together. I wish to know your thoughts on the matter.”
Pleased that Rorie wanted his input since at the start his single interest was making sure they were on the Fae realm, Renny smiled and swept away the stray hairs from his mate’s face. “It’s hard to say. I’m not sure how it’s fair for either of us to compromise. Obviously, we have to spend twelve hours a day together, which requires us to be close.”
“Are you thinking you wish to spend that time with me and be alone for the other half of each day?”
“It’s not what I want, but I refuse to leave my family. Do you understand now that I can’t ask Dra’Kaedan and Brogan to give up the D’Vaires so I can live here in the Fae realm with you?”
“The Grand Warlock and Grand Duke have many duties.”
“Yes, Brogan keeps everybody safe, and Dra’Kaedan runs our sanctuary and handles the applications for our sister one, Elven D’Vaire, though we’ve only had a single candidate so far. That’s disappointing, but it’s often difficult for people to change.”
“And you have duties too.”
“Yeah, I help Dra’Kaedan with that stuff. I love what I do, Rorie. It gives me purpose and enables me to assist outcasts. We might be the smallest sanctuary with the toughest rules, but we get to bring some new D’Vaires into the fold from time to time. I’m in a group now called Team Rafe…well, actually two of them. In one, we created a guidebook for new residents of Dra’Kaedan’s Coven and Elven D’Vaire. We’re going to keep editing it and revising it as we expand and grow. When we return, you and Drekkoril should read it, now that you’re familiar with our language. As for the other one, it’s designing events to strengthen the bonding opportunities. It was Rafe’s idea, and it’s important to him that D’Vaire be a place of peace and offer a tight family connection. I like my life. I like it a lot.”
“And you do not see me in it?”
The hurt in his voice cut through Renny and made him feel like shit. “I didn’t say that. I would love for you to be right there next to me. I think you’d be awesome working on events on Team Rafe and would probably be the life of every damn party. You haven’t explored all that it means to be a part of our Council or what opportunities are out there for interests you might have. You’ve been sheltered, and I’d love to expand your horizons.”
“And I would have my onesie pajamas again.”
“As daywear, though, because that much of you should not be covered when we’re in bed. But you can’t always be at D’Vaire. The Fae and Drekkoril need you. I have a lot of feelings for you, though I’ve tried to protect myself. I failed miserably, and now the future is one where we manage snatches of each other’s lives and little else.”
“Why must you view it that way?”
“Show me an alternative.”
“The Fae need Drekkoril, and our connection requires eight hours of my day. If our rooms shared a common wall, we would not have to be awake for the duration of them. What if we split it so we had some evenings and nights here, and other times we were here when it’s light? Then we could assist Drekkoril, attend some events he wishes for us to be at, and be at D’Vaire plenty. It is up to Drekkoril to decide if he wishes to have a second home at D’Vaire. We can ask him, but primarily, I am concerned with us. I want you in my life. Bétea did not send you to cure my loneliness. You are my v’airsell nioll, the other half of my soul. I love to sleep next to you, to wake in your arms, to have you inside my body, and to talk to you about every subject. I cannot imagine someone more perfectly matched to my personality. You keep me grounded, and all I need to feel better is your smile. I am most fond of you.O’Lliosa, Ren. I love you.”
