“It is something you will need to discuss with him, sweetie.”
“You know I love Dra’Kaedan and Brogan, but the last thing I want is a relationship where I’m fighting with my mate constantly. I know it’s an aspect of their matebond that they both enjoy, but I prefer peace. This could become an ongoing and contentious fight because we each have sound reasons for wanting to get our way. How far am I supposed to go in compromising?”
“I can’t answer that question, except to tell you that no one should ever expect you to give up portions of your life that you love, especially not your family, if they’re a caring one that brings you joy.”
“I don’t think Rorie realizes that the only person he has here now since his parents’ death is Drekkoril. From what I can tell, he doesn’t have any friends. There are a few sioskallos interested in helping fairies, but there are others who don’t appear to like Rorie at all. I don’t know why—he had nothing to do with them before his parents died.”
“He and Drekkoril will both soon realize that they have the D’Vaires now as their family.”
“I want him and Drekkoril to build a relationship.”
“I wish for that too. Drekkoril is a nice man with the weight of an entire people on his shoulders. I know how difficult that can be, and I did it when there was a single asshat who sought to strip away what Fate granted to T’Eirick and myself. This place drips with people who want power.”
“I’m not sure how things are going to work out between Rorie and me.”
“I can tell from the look on your face you want to protect yourself, and I understand the instinct, but the only way things can grow between you is if you keep an open heart.”
While Renny understood that, he wasn’t sure if he could take the chance of being hurt. Although he liked Rorie, there were serious issues that needed to be resolved. “I think he wants to be with me.”
Saura smiled. “And Rorie is definitely a man who gets what he wants. Look at where we’re sitting. He wanted us to see his world, and he made sure we would.”
“He needs answers to how he wound up on our realm. I wonder how long that’s going to take.”
“One thing is for sure; we’re all going to find out.”
“I’m sorry, Saura. He shouldn’t have done that.”
“Don’t you dare apologize to me. I’m happy that he wanted us to learn about his people. It speaks to his already knowing somewhere in his heart that we’re a family. He could’ve taken just you along, but he brought the entire extended D’Vaire clan.”
“I didn’t think about that. You’re right.”
“And you’re still scared. Allow yourself to be wary, but give Rorie a full chance to win you over.”
Because he wasn’t ready to make that promise, Renny nodded and leaned against Saura. Although he was going to pay attention to the world around him to help Rorie, and stand by his side, he couldn’t allow his feelings to grow unchecked. The last thing he wanted was a broken heart, and he wished desperately he could silence the part of him that dared to follow Rorie wherever he led, especially when it came to sex.
The fairy was a wonderful kisser, and for Renny, the memories of Dra’Kaedan’s encounters with Brogan weren’t nearly as vivid as his newfound experience. It was because it was him engaged in the exchanges instead of the muted feelings that came along with how Dra’Kaedan responded to his other half. Rorie was also happy to strip his clothes off at the slightest provocation, and Renny didn’t want to stop that tendency.
Each night Rorie cuddled with Renny, and he wondered how he’d handle being alone again under the covers. It felt so right to be close to Rorie, and that made it sadder that there were such colossal problems in front of them. Since the moment Renny was summoned, he’d yearned for his mate, and he’d always desired something tranquil. Now that he was with Rorie, he understood how naïve and foolish he’d been to think he’d meet Fate’s choice, and everything would fall into place without hard work.
Saura hugged him one last time, then dropped a kiss on his cheek before she murmured a good-bye. Renny turned to watch her walk into the arms of T’Eirick and envied their connection. They made matebonds appear effortless, but he didn’t know what they’d endured to get to that place, and every couple he knew hadn’t snapped their fingers to create something enduring. If Renny wanted the love they shared, he’d have to do his part to get there. It was too damn bad that the very thought of handing Rorie his heart terrified him.
What would Rorie think if he understood how frightened Renny was? Rorie was brave enough to accomplish the impossible in the eyes of his people. His parents had died trying to tie a Faedrekan to their souls, and Rorie hadn’t hesitated to throw himself into the fray to do the same. While he’d mentioned that he wasn’t sure if he’d wanted to have one or follow his parents into the afterlife, Renny doubted it was the full truth. In their brief acquaintance, Rorie appeared fearless. Once he chose a goal, he aimed for it even if it meant upending the traditions of the Fae.
Renny forbade himself from thinking about whether Rorie was right to demand a say in the government. Too ignorant of Fae culture to understand what that might mean for the future, he was unwilling to judge his mate. As if a light suddenly went on in Renny’s mind, he realized that his purpose in this dream should be to make as thorough a study of the Fae as he’d done of the Council. It would be simple—he’d read countless books and paid attention to the daily activities of its leaders. If he did the same for the Fae, he could help RorieandDrekkoril.
No matter Rorie’s feelings on the subject, Renny was going to befriend Drekkoril. He understood the importance of their relationship and wished for them to care for one another. What he wanted was something as strong between them as he had with Dra’Kaedan. And like Rorie, Drekkoril had only the D’Vaires to look out for him. With something to focus on besides the quagmire of offering his heart, Renny left the bench to head into the castle. There was a library inside, and it was time for him to start reading.
Chapter 13
When Rorie woke the next morning, it was to discover that several weeks had passed since he’d fallen asleep curled on Renny’s chest. Hunting through the castle looking for his mate, who’d disappeared after the midday meal, Rorie was growing annoyed. The servants wouldn’t meet his gaze or answer his questions. It was most frustrating since he doubted anything went on that they didn’t know about, but it had been Volzi and Gonisa’s policy that they were there to do their duties and nothing else. Wondering if Drekkoril agreed that they should never speak to anyone not a servant unless it pertained to their designated purpose, he committed himself to ask his bemollo at the first opportunity.
Poking his head into the library, Rorie saw a bent head full of blond curls and grinned. “I was looking for you, v’airsell nioll.”
Renny started and Rorie patted his shoulder. “You scared me.”
“It was not my purpose; you have my apology. What are you doing in here?”
“I’m reading,” Renny answered, his voice suggesting that would be obvious to anyone. “I thought it would be good to learn more about your people.”
