“Not honest,” Aster repeated, not understanding. And then it hit him like a slap to the face. “You mean you want her.” He tried to pull himself out of Corin’s arms, shoving against his chest. Corin didn’t seem to notice. “I’m some kind of substitute—”
Corin flinched. “You aren’t!”
“Of course I am, that’s the only thing you could mean, and not that I blame you, but—”
The arms around him gave at last, but only so Corin could grasp him by the shoulders and shake him until his teeth rattled. The whole world went topsy-turvy, and he flailed uselessly.
The shaking stopped. Aster blinked. Corin leaned down until their faces were scant inches apart. “I don’t want her,” Corin said very slowly. “Not after—you think I could still want her?” Yes, in fact. Aster knew very little about the workings of the human heart—or a dragon’s heart. But he did know love wasn’t rational at all, and it didn’t simply vanish because the object didn’t deserve it. “You’re not anything like her. I don’t see her when I look at—if anything, I’d want to hurt her,” he said in a rush. “It’s not something I’m proud of. I can’t, Aster, you deserve better than that.”
Hurt her? Corin fucking Aster wouldn’t accomplish that, even if she somehow found out. Or did he want to hurt Aster himself, making him a substitute after all, only for a different reason?
Aster swallowed hard, pushing the pain down along with the words that wanted to spill out. He couldn’t allow himself to care why Corin wanted him. Not if he wanted it to continue. Which meant he needed to convince Corin that he was allowed to take what he wanted, no matter why he wanted it.
“Fine, then this has nothing to do with her,” he said. A lie, but if they both pretended to believe it… “Which means you don’t need to stop because of her, either. We knew each other outside of me being her brother and you being her betrothed, didn’t we? Training. As knights. And now we’re—” Damn it, damn it, he couldn’t saylovers. He knew instinctively that Corin would shy away from that word as if it had fleas. “—not only connected through Belinda,” he finished.
Aster peered hopefully up into Corin’s face. He nodded slightly, but his expression didn’t change.
Fuck, not quite enough.
“We had a connection totally apart from almost being related. By marriage! Not really related!”
Oh, for God’s sake, why couldn’t he keep a rein on his tongue? But Corin’s face softened, one corner of his mouth quirking up. “Not related at all,” he said softly, his tone making Aster shiver pleasantly. “And that’s probably a good thing, considering.”
The heat of Aster’s flush spread all the way down from his hairline to his throat, his stomach sinking with it.
“There’s really nothing stopping us from—”
“No,” Corin said, with absolute firmness.
His stomach fell all the way to the floor. Aster’s mouth opened and closed again. “No?”
“No. There isn’t. We are both men of the sword, to some extent, anyway. We have that in common.” Well. At least he knew Corin really was being honest. Ouch. “And I’ve always liked you, as far as I knew you.”
“You have?” Maybe it made him pathetic to a degree that even Marellus would pity, butI’ve always liked you, as far as I knew youwould be something Aster would listen to over and over again in the privacy of his own mind, possibly for the rest of his life. He cleared his throat. “Right. So…you might as well. I mean, if you wanted to?”
He stuttered to a stop, now that it had come to it unable to look Corin in the eye and sayIf you really liked me, you’d bend me over and fuck me raw. Perhaps he ought to have stayed drunk after all.
And as if reading his mindyet again, Corin said, “You begged me for it when you were drunk earlier. I guess you really are sobered up if you’ve gone shy on me. But I’m not doing anything at all until you tell me what you want.” Corin’s voice went low and husky as he added, “In detail.”
“You what?” Aster gaped up at him, and Corin’s infuriating little smile broadened into a wicked grin.
Fucking smug asshole.
Except that Aster had never been so hard in his life, or so incredibly frustrated. He squirmed, pressing his legs together to try to soothe the ache, since the bastard still had him held out at arm’s length.
“Tell me what you want me to do to you now that you’re completely in your right mind, Aster.” Corin’s hands tightened on Aster’s shoulders, and he drew him a few inches closer—but not close enough, damn him.
“Why?” Aster demanded. “What—I don’t want to!”
Corin shrugged, the motion shaking Aster too. “Why? Because I want to be sure it wasn’t the brandy talking. And because I want to hear you. Do it or don’t, but I can always get myself off without any help.” Strongly implying, of course, that he didn’t give a damn whether Aster wanted to or not.
Aster had been trying with all his might to keep his gaze up, knowing he’d lose the power of rational thought if he looked down. But now, screw it. He sent a pointed glance down at Corin’s…oh, God, his massively erect cock. Intimidatingly thick at the base above his heavy bollocks, the huge cockhead with its two pronounced ridges, all of it a deeply rosy, almost iridescent green, glimmering in the shifting firelight.
Even thinking about doing what Corin wanted gave him a giddy sense of swooping through the air, the same way he’d felt when he’d dared Corin to give him something to do with his mouth.
He smiled up at him, batted his eyelashes, tipped his head the way he’d seen the coquettes do at balls back home. It probably looked absolutely absurd, but if he tried to do this with a straight face he’d spontaneously combust with embarrassment.
“You mean you’d be just as happy bringing yourself off as you would spend—spending in my—” Oh God, this wasn’t working. But he took a deep breath and… “—my very tight ass?”
