If Not, No Worries
The door shut behind us, and Dimitri and I practically ran for it, speed-walking down the brick pathway leading from my parents’ porch to the sidewalk. We’d managed to get out before Jerry and his wife, thus dodging any kind of tense conversation alone with my parents; Jerry had opportunely told my father they needed a word alone about some board politics. I could have kissed him.
“Oh, my God,” I gasped, as we rounded the corner of the hedge and escaped. My heart pounded away, giddy relief throwing it, and me, into a tizzy. “We got out alive. I can’t fucking believe it.”
Dimitri grinned down at me, finally looking like himself as he did. He’d put on such a good show. Un-fucking-believably good. He’d slicked his hair back and worn one of the suits I’d picked out for him, a dark blue that brought out the little flecks of green in his gray eyes. Jerry, unbeknownst to me, had studied Russian literature as an undergrad, something he mentioned after I’d introduced my mate. Dimitri had pulled some weird details about the town Dostoevsky had used for the setting ofThe Brothers Karamazovout of his ass, going on for a couple of minutes about the history of Russian river barges, to Jerry’s obvious and enthusiastic delight.
My father had pounded three martinis before we even sat down to dinner, that vein making its appearance again in his temple, but he hadn’t said a damn word.
I’d been gleeful enough to eat some of my salmon without gagging, too relieved by Dimitri charming Jerry to be pissed that my mother always served Blake’s favorites—usually foods I hated—even when he wasn’t there.
“You were amazing,” I said as we headed down the block to my place. “So amazing. I can’t thank you enough.”
“You don’t need to thank—watch it,” he said, taking me by the elbow as I nearly tripped over an uneven part of the pavement. He didn’t let go after I steadied, just tucked my hand through his arm and carried on. I could’ve pulled away. But I didn’t. And I didn’t want to think too hard about it, either. “You don’t need to thank me. I’m glad I didn’t fuck up too bad. Thank God my mom made me read so much about Russia when I was a kid. She didn’t want me to forget where I came from, since we moved to the US when I was eleven. You know, old enough to remember, but not old enough not to forget if I didn’t get reminded about it. Helps that I like to read, I guess. Actually, maybe that’s why, because she gave me so many books.”
He sounded so open, so casual as he told me about himself in a way he hadn’t so far, and I glanced up at him, startled and pleased. He had a half-smile on his lips, and he was looking up at the stars.
“You came here when you were eleven? Not later on? I guess that makes sense. Your accent only comes out sometimes. Is your whole family here?”
He didn’t answer right away, and he didn’t turn his head to meet my eyes, either. The muscles under my fingers went rigid.
Shit. I’d pushed, and I’d overstepped, and I’d made him uncomfortable.
And why would he want to get into his family history with me, anyway? I was a temporary part of his life. Besides which, he’d seen enough of my family now to know they were as unloving and unlikable as a family could be—not to mention that they were incorrigible snobs, and I already knew Dimitri thought I was, too. Maybe he was even right to an extent.
Did he think I’d make fun of him for having a poor family, or an immigrant family?
I wouldn’t. But he might be justified in imagining that I would.
“Some of them are in the States,” he said at last. “I’m glad the reading came in handy tonight, is all.”
And that was clearly the end of the subject. If I wanted to repay him for the way he’d stepped up to the fancy, gilt-edged plate tonight, so to speak, then I needed to drop it.
Speaking of. “I know I already paid you for all of this, but seriously? That was above and beyond tonight. You didn’t have to do more than act respectable. But you charmed the hell out of Jerry, and you even managed not to claw out and take his son-in-law’s face off when he wiped his hand on his suit.” He really, really had, a moment after shaking Dimitri’s. I’d thought I was hallucinating for a second, it was so fucking rude.
Dimitri let out a short, sharp bark of laughter. “I’ve had worse. Anyway, like you said, you paid me. A lot.”
“Still. I feel like you deserve a bonus, or something.” We turned off the sidewalk, strolling up the identical brick walkway to my front door. The evening had turned out balmy and beautiful, and the roses in my front yard had started to bloom, perfuming the air and giving the night an almost magical atmosphere. “Is there something you want? I mean, like a present, or something like that? Fancy dinner that we don’t have to eat with my parents?”
“You could let me fuck you tonight.”
I stopped dead, choked, and started to cough, yanking my hand away from Dimitri’s arm to put my hands on my hips. Aaand there went the magic.
“Say fucking what?” I gasped through spasms. “I couldwhat?”
Finally getting a handle on it, I straightened up to find him watching me, head cocked, a weird look on his face.
“I’m not getting any anywhere else,” he said with a shrug. “After that kind of bullshit, I want to get off. And you’re the only option. So if you want to give me a bonus, then bend over. If not, no worries. I’ll jerk off in the shower.”
Bend over. As simple as that.
Maybe it was for him, since he wouldn’t be the one doing it.
A heavy spark of…something bloomed deep in me at the thought of it. Nerves? And speaking of nerves, my whole body thrummed, more aware of him, aware of everything, than it’d been a moment before. Every bit of my exposed skin felt the faint breeze brushing through the yard as if it’d been a high wind, and my clothes rubbed oddly everywhere else.
If not, no worries. He wouldn’t pressure me. I didn’t have to do it.
But didn’t I owe him? I mean, I’d offered anything he wanted. And I got it, I really did. I often wanted a fight or a fuck after I’d had to deal with my family, and their attitude tonight had been even worse than usual—not to mention, Dimitri had really,reallyhandled them well.
