He put it down on his lap and smoothed the fabric out over his thighs. It was a tiny onesie with a Giants logo on it. “You bought this for me right after you found out you were pregnant the first time. You were convinced we were having a boy.”
I smiled, even though I didn’t remember. “Ibought something with a Giants logo on it? I’m an Eagles fan. I guess I must really love you.” The words kind of tumbled out of me. And they settled around us in all their awkward glory.
“Yeah. You did.” He folded the onesie back up and looked at me. “I’m sorry I hid things from you. I’m sorry I tried to trick you into loving me. I’m just…sorry.”
I shrugged. “It’s okay. I’d probably do the same thing if I was in your shoes.”
“Maybe.” His smile was so sad. “It’s hard for me to be in here. I didn’t want to subject you to that when you were having a hard enough time accepting me.”
“I get it.” I looked around the room. It was adorable. There were stuffed animals everywhere. The only odd part about it was that the walls were bright orange. “Is orange all the rage this season?” I asked.
James laughed and stood up from the rocking chair. “We let Scarlett pick it out. We didn’t know whether we were having a boy or girl so we didn’t want the standard pink or blue. She had fun choosing.”
That was sweet. “You’re a really great father, James.” He was a much better parent than me.
“We’re a great team.” He folded the onesie and put it on top of the dresser.
“Speaking of that…” my stomach felt like it was doing summersaults. “I feel like we haven’t been much of a team. You know everything about me. And I don’t know anything about you. And if all of this is ever going to seem normal…you can’t keep me in the dark anymore. You need to answer my questions. You need to tell me everything.”
“Where do you want me to start?”
“At the beginning, I guess. Tell me about your family. Tell me what you were like growing up. Were you a jock or a geek? Did you have lots of dates or none at all?”
“I’ll tell you everything you want to know over dinner.” He grabbed my hand. I hadn’t expected him to do it. James had made good on his word of not touching me. He realized his mistake at the same time that I realized how much I truly likedthe spark I felt when our skin touched. That the feeling was real. He tried to pull away, but I closed my hand to intertwine our fingers together.
“That sounds perfect,” I said and smiled up at him. Any trace of his sadness had disappeared. He was looking at me the way he had in the pictures. The way he had yesterday. And even though it was scary, I didn’t want him to stop. This version of him was so much better than the cold version.
