“I was trying to be less...possessive. I trusted her.”
“So not cool, James.”
There was a pause.
“I noticed that you used the past tense there,” Melissa said.
“I’m trying to hold on.” He sounded so defeated. “But I’m tired. I want to wake up and for all of this to be over.”
Me too.
“Well, let me go check on her. Sit down and relax. That’s why I came…to help.”
“Thanks, Melissa.”
“I’ll be right back.”
Oh my God.I looked both ways and then ran to the hall closet and jumped inside. I didn’t even have time to close the door when I heard her footsteps on the stairs.
“Penny?” she called as she went into the bedroom.
Please work. Please don’t see me.
I heard her knock on the bathroom door. “Penny?”
Silence.
“Penny!” she screamed at the top of her lungs and banged on the bathroom door. “Penny, let me in!” She banged harder. “Open the fucking door, Penny!” More banging. “Josh! Josh, get help!” she screamed down the stairs. “Someone help!”
Commotion, shouting, footsteps pounding on the stairs.
“Penny!” James yelled. “Penny, open the door! Baby, please.” It sounded like he was dying. Like his heart was breaking.
I thought about what I had written and cringed. I told him I was sorry. I told him I couldn’t do this anymore. That this was better for both of us. That he needed to forget about me.
“Penny!” Pure agony coated every syllable. “Penny, don’t do this! Let me in!”
I could barely understand him through his sobs. And I knew what he thought. I hadn’t meant the note to make it worse. But it had. He thought I was trying to kill myself. Maybe he thought I already had. Guilt seeped into my bones, paralyzing me. I should have been running. But I couldn’t make myself leave when he sounded so distraught. It physically pained me.
“I thought she was downstairs.” I recognized one of the security guard’s voices. “We saw Josh go into the room…” his voice trailed off. “When the hell did you go back downstairs?”
“I never left my room,” Josh said.
“Oh, fuck.” More footsteps on the stairs.
“Penny!” James yelled as he pounded his fist against the door. “You can’t leave me!” he sobbed. “Baby.”
I wanted to curl up in a ball and die in that closet. His pain tore me in two. His words shattered me. But the crack of wood breaking pulled me out of my trance. They were breaking the bathroom door, which meant they were about to see that I wasn’t in the bathroom.
It was now or never.I’m sorry.I burst out of the closet and ran as fast as I could. And I didn’t stop. I ran away from the pain in his voice. The pain in my chest. I ran as fast as I possibly could away from the life I didn’t want.I’m sorry, James. I’m so so sorry.
