“And your heart. You're worried about your heart.”
“And my wife’s heart.”
“Oh, why didn’t you say so? I can tell you whether or not you need to worry about that. Penny, dear. Come over here too, will you?” He fiddled with his pager as Penny joined us at the exam table. She didn’t look weirded out at all by Dr. Young’s tucked beard or enthusiastic table patting. She sat down next to me and whispered in my ear while Dr. Young was still playing with his pager. “Medium breaths, huh?”
“Medium breaths aren’t a thing.”
“James, you need to relax," she said. "Remember when I almost lost you before? That doctor warned you about your stress levels.”
“I can’t get this thing to work.” Dr. Young tossed the pager down onto the floor. “Excuse me real quick.” He walked out of the room without looking at either of us. Before the door swung closed, he yelled, “I need Penny Hunter’s medical records!”
I laughed. “You want me to relax around that psychopath? Seriously, where did you find this guy?”
“He’s the best of the best. And the best sometimes means…eccentric. Besides, what does it matter how he looks? He knows what he’s doing.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Positive. He knew you were stressed out.”
“Anyone can tell that I’m stressed out. Penny, I’ve been going through all of this on my own and I didn’t have time to think about myself when…”
“You’re not alone anymore. I’m right here. You do this thing where you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. But I’m right here. I can carry some of it for you.”
I smiled down at her. “I know. It’s easier now that you’reyouagain. But I just…how am I supposed to relax at a time like this? Any minute now Dr. Hughes will be available to discuss Liam’s future. It’s all I can think about. And you. You brought me here to focus on my health and I’m way more concerned about yours.”
She shook her head. “You’re worried about me? James, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine. Please, please stop worrying about me.” She placed her hand on my chest. “I need you to think about yourself for once. I need your heart to keep beating. I can’t lose you. I just got you back.” She shook her head. “I mean, I know I already had you…but I wasn’t myself and…”
“I know. I get it.” I grabbed her hand and held it in mine. “So what do you suggest I do to relax?”
“Pretend we’re at the beach.” She smiled at me hopefully.
I laughed. “The beach, huh?”
“Yeah. Pretend we’re at the beach with Liam and Scarlett. And everyone else too. Rob, Daphne, and Soph. Mason and Bee, Melissa and Josh, Tyler and Hails, and Matt. Jen and Ian and our parents.”
“I can’t imagine my mother on a family vacation.”
“Yup, she’s there too. Smiling and laughing. Everyone’s happy and healthy.”
I took a deep breath. “That does sound nice. Maybe we can plan a vacation soon.”
“Sooner rather than later.” She rested her head on my shoulder. “What am I going to do with you?”
I ran my hand up and down her back. “I’ll try harder to relax.”
“Having to try hard to relax sounds unrelaxing.”
I took a deep breath, concentrating on going slowly. “I don’t know…maybe I’ll take up meditation.”
“And yoga.”
“Andyoga? Now you’re just being greedy, woman.”
She laughed. “We can do it together. I’ve always thought you’d look amazing in a pair of spandex shorts.”
“Naked yoga sounds more appealing to me.”
She laughed again, and I realized that was the sound that relaxed me the most. Of anything in the world, her laughter calmed me best. I took a slower breath this time. “Your laughter relaxes me.”
