“You’re always suave. It’s kinda your thing.”
I laughed.
“Oh my God, did I just get you to smile?” She leaned closer. “Yup, you’re officially smiling. See…doesn’t it help to talk?”
I sighed, but it was just for show. “Sure.”
“This is what girls do,” she said and sat back down on the couch. “We talk everything out. So pretend you’re a girl for a few minutes and chat with me.” She patted the couch beside her.
“This is a ridiculous exercise.” But for some reason, I found myself sitting down.
“So you said you were scared she’ll never remember. Let’s say the worst happens and she never does. What then?”
“Then…nothing. There is no me without her.”
“You’re being a little dramatic, James. Good job, you’re really finding your inner woman for this chat.”
I wasn’t being dramatic. I was serious. If Penny never remembered me, my life was over. I couldn’t keep going withouther. I thought of Scarlett upstairs sleeping peacefully and of my son attached to all those machines. If I gave up, I’d be letting them down. I knew that and yet…how could I keep going?
“But really,” she said. “What would you do?”
I ran my hand down my face as I leaned back on the couch. “I don’t know, Melissa. Does Penny leave me in this scenario?”
“Yeah, I’m talking worst case. She doesn’t remember and skips town again because she can’t stand you. What’s your plan?”
“This isn’t helping.”
“I just want you to think about the absolute worst thing. And then we figure out how to make that not happen. Trust me, it’s therapeutic.”
I looked down at my lap. “Worst case?” I exhaled slowly. “Penny leaves and I spiral into depression. I start taking drugs again. I ignore my kids because they look like her. I shut everyone in my life out. And I probably overdose and die.”
“Jesus that’s dark.”
I looked up at her. “You said worst case.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I thought you’d say like…try to better yourself and win her back.”
“I assumed in the worst case I couldn’t win her back.”
“Fair enough, drama queen.” She laughed as she pulled her knees into her chest. “Okay, here’s how to prevent doomsday. You know Penny better at 26 years old. But no one knows Penny better at 19 than I do. She desperately wants someone to love her for her. I think you loving her already makes her feel like you didn’t get to know her. You know?”
“I guess?”
Melissa laughed. “You need to ask her more questions. Even if you already know the answers. Take interest in what she’s saying. Maybe even pretend you don’t know the answers. Make her feel…seen.”
“Seen?”
“Yeah. After you two met, she told me that it felt like you saw her. I know…super cheesy. But it’s what she said.”
“I never knew that.” I could picture Penny telling Melissa all about how we met. She hadn’t gone into specific details in her novel. “What else did she say?”
“Well, she didn’t take off the sweater you loaned her for hours. She kept talking about how good you smelled.”
I smiled.
“Another smile? I’m on a streak,” she said.
I thought about the engagement ring in my pocket. “So getting down on one knee and asking her to be my wife again is a bad idea.”
