I nodded, even though I didn’t believe him.Not fully.
He leaned forward a little, the light catching in the curve of his cheekbone.“But I’ll admit… it didn’t go how I expected.”
“Disappointed?”
“Confused.”
I liked the honesty in that.Even if it was reluctant.
He was quiet for a beat.Then: “You looked different tonight.”
I arched a brow.“Than what?”
“Than you did at the bar.Calmer.Softer.”He shrugged one shoulder.“It was kind of annoying.”
That made me laugh again.“Sorry to disarm you.”
“Oh, don’t worry.I’m still plenty armed.Just maybe not against you.”
Something in my chest fluttered.And I felt it again—that certainty I hadn’t dared name.That this wasn’t random.Julian hadn’t come to Riverbend for a podcast.Not really.
“You know,” I said quietly, “I think you’re hurting more than you want to admit.”
His body went still, like an animal clocking a sudden sound in the woods.
“You think you know me?”
“No.But I know pain.”
His jaw worked, just slightly.“Yeah?You heal people with rocks and chanting.I bet pain shows up a lot.”
“I didn’t say I heal people,” I said.“I said I know pain.”
That caught him off guard.I saw it in his eyes.The way they searched mine.
I turned to the fire, watching a curl of smoke rise.“I nearly died once.”
Julian didn’t interrupt.
“It was about four years ago.A car accident.Coming back from Richmond on Route 33.It was raining, and I was tired.I should’ve pulled over, but I didn’t.”
I heard him shift beside me.Leaning closer.
“I don’t remember the crash.Not the moment of it.Just the spin.The sound of metal.Then silence.”
I swallowed.
“And light.But not like I was seeing something outside of me.I was in it.I was the light.It was everywhere.Through me, around me.But it didn’t burn.It soothed.”
Julian said nothing, but I felt his focus.Tangible.
“I couldn’t hear words, but I understood everything.Like the universe had pulled me into its chest and was just holding me.There was no fear.No doubt.I felt… known.Completely.And loved, not in spite of who I was, but because of it.Every wound, every mistake, every complicated, broken part of me was met with kindness.”
I closed my eyes.The memory still made my throat tight.
“I didn’t want to come back.”
Julian’s voice was hoarse when he finally spoke.“So why did you?”
