No one but us was in here, most already upstairs watching the earlier fights. Though the stale air and cracked mirrors weren’t a luxury fitting room, it was calming to have a silent space to prepare.
My mind was descending into that focused place, shutting out all other concerns. It was the reason I fought—to find a fixated calm when everything else was overwhelming—but tonight, I needed it more than ever.
I couldn’t let my attention slip.
“You’re sure about this?” Malakai asked again.
They’d been asking all day as we reviewed Harlen’s plans. As if every decision I was making needed to be checked because Iwasn’t in my right mind. Spirits, who was I kidding? I hadn’t been fully in my right mind since Vale agreed to stay with Titus.
I’d been willing to doanythingto get her out of there. To get us both out of there. Together.
She’d had other plans.
You go, and then come back for me.
I’ll be back for you, Stargirl.
I rolled my neck. I needed this fight, even if it hadn’t been a distraction for Titus, I would have wanted it, but at least now it was contributing when I couldn’t be the one to rescue her from the manor myself.
“This is the best chance we have of getting her tonight,” I said. “I can’t leave her there longer when there’s a possibility of rescuing her.”
Malakai said, “We all need to be smart. If Titus really is?—”
“She stayed for us,” I snapped. A knot formed in my throat. “Vale stayed with Titus because she knew how desperately I needed to get back to you guys. How much we needed those scrolls. We have to make that sacrifice worth it and return the favor.” I paused. “She deserves to be free.”
“CK?” Tolek leaned his elbows on his knees. “What happened with you two?”
Malakai cut him a look, but they’d been tip-toeing around it all week. And the truth of what developed—or re-developed—between Vale and me when we went on that mission had become a wedge between us all. All I’d been able to think about today was the last time I fought, when she’d been at risk. How I’d still been pushing her away, but terror clawed at my chest.
I didn’t want to share that with my friends. The secrets weren’t driving them away, but they were leaving a very large chasm in the floor they were about to walk across for my sake.
“I’m sure you can imagine,” I confessed. “But I was wrong about her. And we amended those differences.” Billowing steamfrom the hot springs rushed to my mind. The scent of starlight and her voice crying my name.
What I wouldn’t give to be back there with her now, free of every other threat in this damn world.
Tolek grinned. “I knew it!”
“If you already guessed, then why did you want me to admit it?” I asked.
“Because if you can’t admit it to us, you damn well won’t admit it to anyone else,” Malakai said, practically giddy.
But a roar of the crowd upstairs reigned in their amusement.
Tolek crossed his arms, challenging, “And we’re all putting our asses on the line for you tonight. Rescuing Vale could result in drastic inter-clan contention and cause many problems for the Mystiques. We needed to be certain you were serious.”
His speech was harsh but not false. And in it, I recognized that defensive guard. He was here for me tonight, willing to do whatever it took to rescue Vale, but his priority was Ophelia. And if this went poorly, we could cause severe political conflict.
“I’m more serious about Vale than anything,” I snapped.
Tolek’s usual gleam returned to his eye. “Let’s not get caught then.”
“Bright idea, genius,” Malakai mocked. They started bickering as I finished preparing.
At the door, I stopped Malakai with a hand on his shoulder. “Listen,” I said. “I’m trusting you. I trust you more than almost anyone on Ambrisk.” Tolek gave an affronted scoff that I ignored. “I need you to get her out.” I hated myself for even saying it—for implying that I doubted him as he doubted himself sometimes—but Vale was too fucking important to let it go unsaid. “Whatever you do, don’t freeze.”
I waited to see if he’d take offense to the reference of all those times he’d tensed up after his imprisonment. I never blamedhim for it—I understood why it happened—but it wasn’t an option tonight.
Malakai only nodded grimly. “I’m past that now, Cyph. I promise. I wouldn’t risk going in there otherwise.”
