Scooping her up, I took her back to the bed and leaned against the pillow. “When you want to talk about it,” I said, “I’m here.”
She traced absent patterns around the hem of my shirt, the white linen resting softly against her thighs. It was a steadymovement, even if not eager. A better state than she’d been in when Dax passed her off to me, but still hollowed out.
“Not tonight. Tomorrow—I’ll talk to everyone tomorrow,” she answered, and her words lacked inflection. It reminded me of the tone that spoke through her weeks ago in the archives. When something had overcome her, her eyes swirling silver, and a different voice claimed to be there when Endasi was created.
She rested her head on my chest, and as the moment passed, her breathing leveled out, her fingers tapping a musical beat against her skin, like she was using it to soothe herself.
“Okay,” I said, but if she wasn’t ready tomorrow, that would be fine. She’d somehow retrieved Valyrie’s emblem, and that was more than enough. We’d give her all the time she needed to recover.
Needed.
I’d asked her what she needed when we first got up here, but fuck need. Vale had been provided her basicneedsfor years—just enough that it warped her understanding of living—but she had been deprived of choice all that time. Perhaps taking small steps toward decisions would help restore her grasp on her freedom.
“In this moment, Stargirl,” I asked softly, dragging my fingers up her spine, “what is it youwant?”
“Want?” She considered, twisting her sleeve around her hand. Her eyes lifted to mine, searching.
I elaborated, “What will make you feel better?”
Vale studied me, and slowly, silent tears streaked down her cheeks. Her breaths grew shallow and aching. “I want…” Another breath, and words cascaded out in that disjointed, haunted voice. “I want it all erased. I want you to take me back to when we were in the hot springs. Before Valyn, before the archives. I want you to make me remember the freedom.” Her cheeks were tinged pink, like only the mention of that dreamwas breathing a bit more life into her. Like the piece of her soul cleaved off with the tattoo bond was dampened compared to this—to us. “When we were there, I thought for one night, I could take my own fate into my hands—I could seize it, own it. I want that back.”
“You can have it, Vale. Tonight, you had something taken from you, but it’s not you. That part of you that was tied to him—the past he compromised and ripped away—it may be gone, and it may hurt like all Spirits, but it isn’t all of you.” I brushed away a tear. “Now you can seize every dream the Fates spin up.”
She hiccupped. “I feel broken.”
“No, Stargirl.” I kissed her cheek and whispered, “You’re not broken. But sometimes we have to rip out the toxic roots of ourselves to make room for the healthy ones to grow.”
The ones that were tended with love and kindness, the ones I’d show her, because if there was one thing I was certain of, it was I could love Vale the right way. I’d messed up before—pushed her away and punished her. I’d never be such a fool again.
“Kiss me?” she asked, and though she still sounded like she was teetering on the edge, my heart thundered at the request.
“Cursed Spirits, you don’t have to ask.”
I swept her down onto the bed so she was on her back, hair fanned out around her, and when my lips met hers, relief unwound in me. Based on the way her body went pliant, she felt the same.
This wasn’t a kiss like in the hot springs—it wasn’t frantic and clawing. This was grounding.
I slipped one hand into Vale’s hair, holding steadily to her and glided my tongue along her lips. When she opened for me and the kiss deepened, that sensation of starlight ignited in my chest. Of everything right and free and promising. Ofthe possibilities the future held for us to repair what Titus had shattered.
“Cypherion,” she whispered against my lips, tugging me closer.
“Yeah, Stargirl?” Fuck, it felt good to kiss her again. To have her heart beat against mine and feel her skin warm beneath my hands.
Vale’s fingers crept along my stomach, to my waistband. “Remind me,” she begged, her voice cracking. “Remind me of that night.”
She gripped my cock over my pants, and though I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea given all she’d been through, I was powerless against her touch. It was only seconds until I was sinking into her slowly, watching every gasp fall from her lips. Kissing the tears slipping from the corners of her eyes.
I dropped my forehead against hers, nearly breathless. “Tell me to stop.”
“Please, don’t,” she said, desperate in a way I’d never heard from her. Like if I stopped, she’d crack. Vale’s hand tangled in my hair, pulling my mouth to hers. “I need you to replace every memory of tonight.”
I did. Slowly and tenderly, I reminded Vale of the moments we’d spent together before I’d left her in Valyn and the promises of our future.
“I love you, Vale,” I said into her skin, kissing down her chest. “And you belong to no one but yourself.” I paused, pulling my hips back and adding with a small smile, “And me.”
“I’m honored to belong to you, Cypherion,” she gasped as I sank forward again.
“You looked so beautiful in those hot springs, Stargirl. With the steam beading on your skin and curling your hair. The starlight in your eyes. You looked like you were made to be there.” I moved faster, still being gentle with her, but givingher what she’d asked for. “I’d wanted you so desperately, then. Breaking that control was the best decision I ever made.”
