“What about in the winter?”
“Nobody wants to be outside in the winter,” she said adamantly. “Although actually, they do put on quite a few events even then. There’s a big parade at Christmas time. Bonnie loves it. And there’s the winter festival too. Do you see that parking lot over there? They set up big bonfires for roasting hot dogs and marshmallows. And there’s a beer tent, too.”
“Wow, it’s funny. I can completely picture you here. I can see young Penny growing up, walking these streets, but trying to imagine Siobhán…. It seems, I don’t know… then again here with you, and Teddy, and Martha. I bet she loved it.”
“Come on,” Penelope grabbed his hand excitedly. “There’s a great place for cocktails just up here.”
“We’re going straight for the strong stuff?” Finn questioned.
For a second, Penelope was afraid he was onto her. “They’re really good,” she encouraged without meeting his inquiring glance.
“Sure, you’re the tour guide,” he agreed readily. “Whatever you say.”
It wasn’t that Penelope wanted to get him drunk. That was very far from her intention. She just wanted to get him tipsy—get him relaxed. She needed to get to the bottom of what was off between them—why some part of him was still distant. She figured the best way to find out was to loosen his tongue.
The host seated them at one of the picnic tables outside, where they could listen to the band playing music across the street. On the other side of the rope sectioning off the outdoor seating were cornhole boards for anyone to use. People mingled around them, laughing and chatting. Kids walked by with ice cream cones, their parents enjoying a moment of peaceful contentment. Farther down, at the end of the street, the sun could be seen beginning its descent over the Grand River, which led out to Lake Michigan, offering them a couple of precious hours of daylight left.
“This is beautiful.”
It felt good to hear Finn use the same word to describe her home that she’d used so often to describe his.
“I know it’s probably weird that I never moved on. But I hope you can see the appeal of the place.”
“Oh, definitely. In its own way, it reminds me of Crosshaven.”
“Well, hold onto that thought. In a little bit, we can go for a walk, and you can see all the boats we have here.”
The conversation remained light as they ordered and then sipped their drinks. Finn asked a few questions about her hometown and her life growing up there, but mostly, they sat in silence, their senses soaking up the sights, smells, and sounds around them. Penelope was silently working up her courage for the confrontation ahead.
Two cocktails each later, she was worried that she was the only one who was tipsy. Still, she couldn’t really take a chance on a third for fear of losing her purpose. And he seemed determined to drink at the same pace she was.
“Take a walk with me?” she asked. She’d signaled for the bill while he was in the bathroom. She wanted to be the one to take him out, the way he had for her.
He watched as her card was handed back, realizing what she was doing. “You don’t have to pay for everything. I was happy to do it for you. I don’t need you to pay it back or anything.”
“I want to,” she insisted. “It’s my turn to treat you. Besides, it’s not quite so bad when you’re still living with your parents,” she joked as she headed them back to the sidewalk.
“About that….” Finn fell in step with her. “Your dad mentioned you were looking at apartments. Or that you wanted to?”
His words hit like a bucket of cold water. They were everything she was trying to avoid thinking about. She had pushed the future out of her mind. She wanted to be present in the moment with him. That was next month. School would start at the end of August, and the Penelope that didn’t belong in Finn’s world would have to reemerge.
“Yeah, but….”
“Show me.”
“Huh?” This wasn’t going at all the way she wanted it to.
“He said you mentioned some downtown. Show me,” he encouraged. “If you could have any one, where would you live?”
“Um, okay.” If this was his way of saying goodbye, she needed to be aware of it. Her arms tingled as if they could feel the air around them, sensing the space between her body and his. This subtle distance set off an ache inside her.
She led him a block over from the street they were on, then a couple blocks back. Her feet knew the way, carrying her with sureness, while inside her head, thoughts were screaming out. Was he giving up the fight for them? Was he really just going to let her go?
“I don’t know. Maybe here.” She had stopped in front of a two-story red brick building. It had cream colored cement stairs leading up to it and a black handrail. The second story had balconies. Some had large flowerpots and outdoor furniture, while others had grills, all of which gave off a pleasant summery vibe. “It’s probably way out of my price range, but I like the location. I thought it would be nice to be able to walk into town. To go to a bar. Maybe even….” She cut herself off, shocked by what was about to come out of her mouth. The words had been mechanical. They embodied the thoughts of the Penelope that existed before she’d met Finn.
“Maybe what?” he persisted.
She shook her head, wishing she could take them back.
