Life was crazy. How quickly everything could change. Less than five weeks ago, Penelope had happened into a bar called Clint’s with Bonnie at her side, unaware of the changes that were about to unfold. Sitting in the same bar, a tentative smile and mumbled apology from Seamus later, life felt completely different.
It was true; she looked like the third wheel again, sitting next to a contrite Bonnie and self-congratulatory Felix, who refused to remove their hands from each other. She knew otherwise, though. Standing on the little stage, wearing jeans and a black T-shirt, brown hair as unruly as ever, Finn smiled down at her before returning his concentration to his guitar.
Maybe happy endings did happen. Maybe she would even be allowed one. Her thoughts turned to what Bonnie had been saying before everything went crazy. Could she be a writer? Could she take that chance? Try something utterly and amazingly new? It was too big of an idea to absorb all at once. She was trying to let it in a little at a time, like savoring a piece of chocolate. Hoping it might eventually sound more natural. For the moment, she was simply delighted to be in a bar, in Ireland, watching her boyfriend perform.
When Felix eventually got up, his bladder winning out over his desire not to lose sight of his once again fiancée, Bonnie scooched closer to her.
“Are we okay?” she leaned in to ask.
“You tell me.”
“I’m sorry. I should have… there are a lot of things I should have done differently.”
“I can’t be mad,” Penny tore her attention from the stage to focus on Bonnie. “If it weren’t for you, I never would have come here. I would never have met Finn. I never would have been pushed out of my comfort zone to take chances.”
“All right, Penny. Or is it Penelope now? I noticed that’s what Finn’s calling you. Leave the cheesy monologues for your book. But I’m proud of you. The scared little mouse is gone. You’ve become a stronger woman. Thank you for not letting me ruin things for myself.”
“Now, who’s being cheesy?” Penelope countered, even as she leaned in for a hug, squeezing her friend tight. “Love you, Bon.”
“Love you too, Pen.”
“Right.” Penelope stood as Felix returned, relinquishing his fiancée to him again. “My round for drinks. Be right back.”
Standing among the crowd at the bar, Penelope was content to wait her turn. She didn’t expect special privileges from Seamus and was happy not to get them. There seemed to be a tentative truce there. He was contrite and apologetic for his behavior. So, she was willing to let it go, choosing to believe he wouldn’t have pushed things any further that night.
“Hey there, gorgeous.” A hand ran its way down her side, reaching around to encircle her stomach proprietarily.
Shock came first, followed quickly by panicky terror. Every fiber of Penelope’s body wanted to scream. This had to be a nightmare. That’s what it was. She was going to wake up any second in bed next to Finn. This couldn’t be real.
“Surprised to see me?” the voice leaned in close to her ear.
Her arms went wide as her stomach sucked in, in an attempt to create space and distance herself from his touch. The rest of her froze, her brain working hard to process what washappening. Only when a bartender stepped up to take her order was she able to break the horrific spell she was under.
Her teeth ground together, her eyes narrowing to slits, as she slowly turned to face Carson.
His eyes twinkled in the same way they always had. His white-toothed smile was wide and confident, his blond hair short and well-groomed.
She found him absolutely repulsive.
“Take your hand off me,” she said slowly, deliberately pronouncing each word.
“Hey, it’s all right. I’m not here to criticize,” he said quickly, as if this should make everything okay. “I saw the snap Felix took, and my God, did you clean up good. If this wedding thing’s back on, I thought it would be fun if the maid of honor and best man came as a date, right? That’s why I tagged along on this trip. Thought I’d surprise you.”
It was so like him to be so self-assured. To assume she’d be happy to see him and fall right back into following him around like a pathetic little puppy dog. Why the hell hadn’t Felix mentioned this?
It wasn’t fair. Penelope had practiced this moment a million times in her head—him wanting to be with her and her getting to do the rejecting. She had envisioned it so many different ways. But none of them had been like this—out of her control—not on her terms. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.
She wanted to be calm and disinterested. Instead, she felt the rush of emotions he always brought out in her, the anger, the self-hatred, and all her insecurities. She had worked too hard to have everything undone in a single moment. Feeling herself start to shake, she forced herself to get a grip. Pushing past him, she headed for the door. She needed air. Now.
She heard Bonnie’s voice somewhere behind her, echoing her thoughts, “What the fuck is he doing here?” But she didn’t let it slow her down.
She wasn’t so confident he’d follow her or even sure that was what she wanted, which only fueled her anger. She was still doubting herself—still doubting that someone like him could like her, even if she didn’t want him anymore.
“Penny, what’s going on? I thought you’d be happy to see me. I flew all the way over here.” Carson’s smile had faded, replaced by annoyance. With a more measured gait, he’d made his way out of the bar to now stand arms crossed, leaning back, looking down at her.
She knew that look, knew it intimately. It was the one he used to put her in her place so many times in the past.
He caught the moment when she faltered and mistook it for what it was. Closing the distance between them, he reached out to pull her closer. Penelope was vaguely aware that the door had opened again. She was more aware that Carson was coming closer, his body beginning to press up against hers. His eyes locked in, his face in front of her until it was all she could see. What she saw shocked her. It was desire. Before, it had always been want, a greediness that knew he could do whatever he wanted with her, but never genuine desire. It slowed her down, tripping her up. Before she could react, his lips were on hers, pressing hard.
