Drifting over to her usual position on the couch, Penelope dropped more than sat. “Are you sure you want to hear it? He is your cousin, after all. I don’t want to upset you.”
“You know I want to hear it,” Bonnie insisted. “Well,” she reconsidered, “most of it. You don’t have to go G version on me. But maybe not R either.”
“PG13?” Penelope giggled, enjoying this banter. It had been forever since she’d had this with Bonnie.
“Perfect.”
She only hoped it wouldn’t be the last time, having no idea how tomorrow would go.
They stayed up late into the evening. Bonnie was more receptive to listening than Penny expected. She kept her questions tame. Some focused more on the location than the newly budding relationship. But she seemed at peace with the idea of them.
“Sure, it was bound to happen,” Bonnie conceded, as both their heads were beginning to droop. “I don’t know how I thought you two wouldn’t be great together.”
The melancholy Penelope had held at bay all night finally crept up on her. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, though, Bon. I think I love him. I mean like real love, not crush stuff. And I have no idea how to make this go forward. I never thought I’d find someone like him.”
Bonnie nodded understanding, a faraway look in her own eyes. She’d maintained her smile through most of the evening. Now it faded as she curled herself into a tight ball. “It’s an amazing feeling when you have it.”
It took everything in her not to push the point. Penelope could see her friend’s anguish and knew she was reliving memories of times with Felix. She considered trying to build on those memories but didn’t trust herself enough to do it. If she said the wrong thing, it would give everything away. Shecouldn’t take that chance, deciding it was better to slip away now, hopefully leaving Bonnie to dwell on those thoughts—just maybe softening her heart towards Felix.
Waking before it was light out, Penelope couldn’t shake the nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. She forced herself to stay in bed until she couldn’t take it anymore. She finally allowed herself to get up when she could see the outline of shapes outside. She went for a long run, followed by a long shower. She sought Bonnie out only to inform her she was going to head out and get them some scones. She didn’t want Bonnie to think she was avoiding her, while at the same time, she was terrified of being alone with her. It had been a miracle she’d made it through the previous evening without letting anything slip. She knew she couldn’t keep it in much longer.
Fortunately, Finn called on her walk back. They were on their way.
“Hey, Bon,” Penny called out as she entered the house. “I’ve got the scones.”
“Don’t worry about those,” came the shouted back response. “Come in here. I need to talk to you about something.”
Penny froze in the act of pulling the delicious smelling pastries out of the white paper bag. “Shit,” she swore under her breath. Could she know? How could she know? No, she couldn’t possibly know. And she sounded almost happy, Penelope reasoned to herself.
Squaring her shoulders, she braced herself for whatever was coming. “On my way.”
There was a light in Bonnie’s eyes that hadn’t been there in weeks. Two days ago, Penelope would have celebrated it. But the Penny with a guilty conscience didn’t trust it. “What’s up?” she asked warily.
“Have a seat. Go on, have a seat. Stop being weird. I think I’ve got a solution for you.”
“Solution to what?” This was all very confusing.
“To your future with Finn,” Bonnie said, as if it should be obvious.
“Say what now?”
“If you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been working my ass off lately. I ran out of my work days ago. Apparently, that’s what happens when you work all the time. So, I decided to make you my project.”
“Bonnie, I have literally no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Your journals.” Bonnie indicated the stack of three journals sitting next to her on the couch. “I told you I’d read through them. Oh, stop making that face. We’re past that. Focus on what I’m saying.” Bonnie plowed on as if she’d done nothing untoward at all. “I typed them up, doing a little editing along the way.”
“You what?!”
Bonnie ignored the interruption completely. “Then I sent it to a good agent friend of mine. I mean, it’s definitely good enough for my publishing company, but we’re small potatoes. I think you could get better. She agreed with me, too. There’s a lot of work to be done. It was only a first draft, after all. But I explained that to her, explained that if this was just journal writing, imagine what it could become. She’s willing to take you on. I got the email from her this morning.”
Multiple questions formed in Penelope’s mind, each one getting pushed aside by the next so that none of them were making their way to her mouth. How was this possible? She’d always wanted to be a writer, but that was only a dream. Wasn’t it? It wasn’t something she could really pursue. Was it? Was she actually good at it? Could she actually do this? And how was this going to help her and Finn?
Somehow, Bonnie picked up on the last one without it being vocalized. “If we got you a good publisher, they would give you an advance. I don’t know if it would be enough to live on, but it would be a start. And if you were a writer, you could get a VISA. I’m fairly certain they would allow you to do that if you’re generating income in a manner that doesn’t detract from this country. I’d have to double-check the particulars. But I’m pretty sure it’s something like that. You’d be able to stay for as long as you wanted.”
Unexpectedly, it was fear that hit first, not excitement. Ireland was beautiful. It was an amazing place to visit, but to live…. To leave behind everything she knew—all her safeties. Even for Finn, it was an overwhelming idea.
“I know; I know. It’s a lot to take in. I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure Lisa would be interested. But after everything you were saying last night….” Bonnie paused as if she might not finish, then reluctantly added, “You two do sound pretty amazing together. And that’s worth fighting for, isn’t it?”
