“I’m fine. I’ll do it.” Some stubborn part of her was still angry with him. Angry for his act of kindness. Damn it, he was a good person. But she wanted it to be just for her. Not something for everyone. “Just please tell Bonnie, okay? Tell her I had a headache and had to go.”
Finn reached a hand in her direction. “Okay, Penny, just let me….”
She didn’t finish listening to what he was saying. She saw a passing cab and bolted for it.
Chapter 13
Images of last night’s debacle played out in her head as Penelope grimaced at every squeak of the stairs and cringed at every memory. The wonderful aroma of coffee lured her forward, her brain too muddled to realize what that smell meant.
“Good morning.” Bonnie stood in front of the coffee machine, looking unusually fresh.
“Morning,” Penny mumbled, trying to look past her. Then she saw that Bonnie already held her favorite mug, filled with cream added to it.
“Heard you coming,” Bonnie said with an overly bright smile.
“Stupid squeaky stairs.” Penny reached eagerly for the offered mug, realizing a moment too late that this was a trap as Bonnie stretched out her free hand and placed it on her arm. “You get this when you agree to talk to me.” She leaned in until her face was only inches away from Penny’s. “Got it?”
“Stupid coffee addiction,” Penny mumbled, even as she felt her chin wobble. Before she knew it, the mutinous tears from last night were there again. They rolled down her cheeks slowly, giving her away.
“Oh.” There was a gasp of surprise. A moment later, Bonnie’s arms were around her, holding her, gently lowering Penny’s head to be cradled against her shoulder. “Pen, what’s going on?”
If she hadn’t been so upset, she would have seen the humor in it when her voice croaked, “Nothing,” while her body collapsed against the offered comfort.
“Come on.” Bonnie led her to the sunroom, wrapping her in the coziest of blankets. Finally handing her the coffee, she joined her there, tucking her feet into the extra bit of blanket. “Tell me.”
Penny took a tentative sip, feeling the warmth spread through her, then took another. “There’s nothing to….”
“Don’t even. Between whatever’s going on with you and what’s going on with me, we’ve been a mess lately.”
“Yeah,” Penny nodded sadly in agreement.
“I just got so mad when we first came back from that trip.”
Penny’s head shot up. This wasn’t what she’d expected to hear.
“It was obvious you and Finn were getting along.” Bonnie struggled for the words. “Too well. And I didn’t like it. I’d asked you not to.” Her face was contorted with a mix of anger and sadness. “And when we came back, you disappeared. Everything was falling apart, and you left me.”
“Bonnie, I didn’t mean to.” It had never occurred to her how that might appear to Bonnie. She’d been too caught up in her own emotions. “I wasn’t trying to… it was because….”
“I felt deserted all over again. By my best friend. Like you were leaving me, too.”
“Oh, no, no.” Horrified at the thought of being one more person to desert Bonnie, Penny sprang over the distance between them, throwing her arms around her friend.
She was surprised when Bonnie chuckled. “It’s okay. Stop strangling me. I got over it. Your puppy dog expression and complete devotion the days following made up for it. I know you love me.”
“Of course, I do. I never meant to hurt you. Never. I just… it was because….”
“Because why?” Bonnie’s eyebrow arched questioningly.
Penny pulled back slowly, retreating to her side of the couch, her head hung in contemplation. All her hurt from the nightbefore oozed back in, filling her up and overwhelming her until it loosened her tongue. “It’s all right. I get it. I’ll back off. I’m not good enough for him. I could never compare to his last girlfriend. I’m not as wonderful and beautiful as all those other Americans throwing themselves at him last night.”
“Finn? Are we talking about Finn?”
“That’s it, isn’t it? Penny shouldn’t date him because she’s not good enough for wonderful, caring, sweet Finn.” Penny heard the bitterness in her voice, unable to curb it. She’d kept these thoughts in for too long. They wanted out. “It’s like Carson all over again. Good enough to screw, but not good enough to date. Good enough to talk about everything in private, but not good enough to hold my hand in public.” Her words were coming faster now, fueled by old and new emotions.
“Penny, slow down. What the hell are you talking about?”
“You told me not to date him. That I wasn’t good enough for him.”
