“Yeah,” Penny agreed half-heartedly, eyes roaming the bar, looking at everything but Bonnie.
Soon enough, he started singing. The voice she was coming to long for came out, sounding even more melodic. It was deep and smooth and… sexy. The longer he sang, the more his confidence showed through. His hands were strong and sure on the guitar. Penny watched with an odd sort of jealousy as he held it, his long, capable fingers creating beautiful music. She was soon caught up in the spell of it, listening to songs she’d never heard before but knew she’d want to hear again.
The bodies around her pressed closer. Those closest to her became quieter, listening with the same intent interest she was. She had heard the women at the table next to theirs speaking earlier. It was apparent they were fellow Americans. A whole group of them, it seemed.
Was it weird that even after her short time in Ireland, she felt different to them? She was having a different experience, one that wasn't just hopping on and off tourist buses to see the main attractions. She’d been to secret places with the best tour guide possible.
“Thought you might be ready for something stronger.” Seamus appeared at her side, placing a gin and tonic on the table. “It’s getting hot in here. Might need something to cool you down.”
Penny nodded gratefully. She hadn’t noticed the lack of alcohol. But she didn’t want to seem rude, either. “Thanks. This is perfect,” she said, smiling up at him, intentionally looking for those deep blue eyes, wondering if they would still affect her the way they had that first day.
He winked, leaning lower, “Just let me know if you need anything else,” he whispered into her ear.
“Mmmhmm,” Penny nodded, her body instinctively pulling away instead of leaning in.
When Finn finally stopped to take a break, she willed him to come to their table. Instead, five of the Americans swoopedin on him. Two offered to get him a drink, while three others practically tripped over themselves complimenting him.
Penny’s stomach tightened. She tried to tell herself this was nothing. It was part of his job to play to the audience. Until he leaned in closer to one of the bustier women, letting her whisper something in his ear, laughing as he pulled back. The woman then reached forward to touch his arm.
Not good enough, the words played again through Penny’s thoughts. She added the tonic to her gin and took a large pull on the straw.
“He’s really good, isn’t he?” Bonnie asked.
“Huh? Yeah, he is,” Penny agreed, hoping her misery didn’t come through.
“Look at the way the tourists flock to him. I remember him playing guitar when we were younger. But I had no idea he’d gotten this good. His voice is beautiful.”
Closing her eyes for only a second, she could almost hear the sound of his voice in her ear again, pressed close, speaking just for her, his arms around her.
“Beautiful,” she echoed Bonnie, as her eyes returned to Finn in time to see him taking a pint of beer from an eager fan, winking flirtatiously as he did.
She lifted her own drink to her lips again, making short work of it this time. “My turn to get a round. What d’you want this time?” She stood, looking for any excuse to get away from the view in front of her.
“Uh, cider, I guess. Didn’t Seamus just get you a drink?”
Penny chose not to answer that. “I’ll be right back,” she said instead. She only made it halfway to the bar before she caught sight of the powerfully built chest muscles she was looking for.
He saw her coming and grinned at her approach. “Well, hello.” His smile grew wider as his eyes swept over her, takingin the little black dress that hid little. “Need something else already?”
She tried a flirtatious smile. She’d seen Bonnie do it a hundred times, flirting with men whether she was interested or not. She tilted her head and awkwardly spread her lips wide, pretty sure it didn’t look the same on her. “Any chance you could get me another gin and tonic and a cider?” She held out a twenty euro note. She might take advantage of his table service, but she knew better than to push her luck with free drinks.
He moved closer until he was standing directly in front of her. She could feel the heat from his body, his eyes still travelling over her. “I’d be delighted to,” he said, gently tugging the bill from her fingers.
“Thanks.”
What was she doing? She demanded of herself as she headed back to their table. She knew she wasn’t interested in him. He was handsome, big, and strong, with blue eyes that sparkled, but he wasn’t what she wanted. He so obviously wanted her, though. At this moment, that’s what seemed to matter.
She was tired of watching Finn flirt with other women. She wanted to be the one he was flirting with. If it couldn’t be her, then damn it, she would find someone else.
She was done with not feeling good enough. It was like Carson all over again. She was good enough for middle-of-the-night trysts in the middle of nowhere but not good enough to be openly desired. To stand in front of all these people and have someone want to be with her.
Well, Seamus certainly wanted that. It was obvious enough. Let Finn see that. Someone else found her attractive enough to want to be with her.
Seamus dropped the drinks at the table, leaning in. “Another bartender came on. Might get a break myself soon.”
He ran his hand along her arm, squeezing gently before he disappeared.
Penny finished the second gin with only slightly less gusto than the first. Finn’s voice, which had seemed so soothing at the beginning of the night, now taunted her.
