“Hey, Von, you okay?” Finn asked.
She nodded, her head moving slowly up and down. “Yeah… sure… hey, I think I’m gonna go for a quick stroll that way. Won’t be a minute.”
Penny started to stand to go with her. But Bonnie reached out, giving her arm a quick squeeze of reassurance. “On my own. But thanks.”
“Sure.” Penny lowered herself slowly, still ready to jump back up if she changed her mind.
They watched as Bonnie wandered away with a slow but sure pace, as if drawn by the memories there. It wasn’t until she heard Finn sigh that Penny realized how intently she was staring.
“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea,” he said softly into the quiet that surrounded them. “I don’t think she’s been back to Crosshaven since that summer she was twelve. Since the one visit after her mam left. I should have picked someplace else to go.”
“Oh.” Penny let this sink in while also feeling the urge to comfort Finn’s distress. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t know. Your friend offered his place. Of course, you’d take him up on it. She was so happy a minute ago. Give her a chance.” After a moment, curiosity got the better of her, and she added, “What was she like, Bonnie’s mom?”
The question seemed to take him by surprise. His face struggled through a few emotions, mostly grimacing at different levels, without a word escaping.
“It’s just that Bonnie never talks about her. So, I wondered.”
Finn finally seemed to settle his thoughts. “She’s hard to describe. She was beautiful. You’d think Siobhán got her red hair from her dad, from the Irish side, but she actually got it from her mom. It must be hard to face sometimes, just looking in the mirror. I was only thirteen the last time I saw her, so I don’t remember her that well. But she always seemed to have this faraway look, like she wasn’t really with us. Or, if she was laughing and smiling, it was after she had been drinking. I can’t imagine what that was like for a girl, losing your mam at a time when you need her most. And because she chose to leave.”
“And they really never heard from her again?” Penny asked in disbelief.
Finn shrugged. “As far as I know. But she and Uncle Derek are proud people. They don’t really talk about it.”
“Yeah, I noticed.”
“What about you?” Finn asked, changing the subject. “Are you enjoying it here?”
Penny looked over to find his gaze very steadily focused on her. She noticed again that his eyes were similar to Bonnie’s, a faded green like the color of the sea, not intensely bright but with a depth she felt drawn to. The more she looked, the more she saw hints of gray and blue.
“Penny?”
“Sorry.” She turned her head away from him, looking out at the actual sea. “How could I not? It’s beautiful.”
“It just seemed… I wasn’t sure… I know you were out exploring a bit, but then… it sounded like you might be having a rough transition…?” He left it as a question.
Penny coughed on her sip of Guinness. Had he and Bonnie been talking about her? It didn’t seem like Bonnie was talking to anyone. But she couldn’t say for sure. She was gone most of the day. “Ah, did it show?” she asked, trying to cover her moment of overthinking.
“A little.”
She liked that he didn’t try to smooth the silence over after that. He let the moment hold until she decided how to continue. He seemed genuinely interested, so she wanted to give him a thoughtful response.
“It’s not that I didn’t want to come, you know, to Ireland… maybe, if I’d had time to prepare for the trip, if I’d had time to psyche myself up and get excited, if it had been more my decision….”
“She really did bulldoze you into it?” he asked, a chuckle of amusement escaping.
She thought about defending her friend, then found the humor instead. “You could say that.”
He shook his head while he continued to smirk in amusement. When his expression finally sobered, he reached over to touch her hand. “You’re a good friend. She needs that. Thank you.”
“You’re a pretty good cousin,” she answered back awkwardly, trying not to be overly aware of his hand on hers, then regretting the loss of it as he pulled away.
“I wasn’t the first time around. I’m trying to make up for it.”
The food arrived at about the same time Bonnie drifted back to them, the same faraway look still on her face. Finn shoved the oysters in her direction, nodding at her. She managed a tight-lipped smile, reaching out for the shell containing the mucousy contents.
“Go on, Pen. We’ll all do it together,” she said, forcing a light-hearted tone.
Picking up a half shell with decidedly less enthusiasm, Penny eyed it suspiciously. She followed their directions to the T. A little lemon juice, a dash of hot sauce, down in one swallow, reach for the Guinness, and then she was hacking vigorously. Her stomach turned, and it was all she could do to keep it down.
