“That’s not really fair,” the schoolteacher in her mumbled, knowing better than to judge people by what was on the outside. Hadn’t she tried to teach that to her own students a million times? And wasn’t it time for boring old Penelope to try new things? Wasn’t that what this trip was about? At least partly. She didn’t have to fall in love with him. Hell, she wasn’t going to be here long enough to fall in love with him. That didn’t mean she couldn’t have some fun. Hopefully, he would help take her mind off Finn. She flinched as she thought his name, feeling guilt she couldn’t quite explain.
“Ugh,” she sighed. Then, she shoved down her emotions, extricating her new journal and the assignment she’d given herself. Write it as a character, a braver, more daring character. Picture it that way. It was worth a shot, anyway, and it was a good distraction.
Time seemed to disappear when she wrote. Words poured out of her as if they were there all along, just waiting for the chance to fill the page. She couldn’t be sure if an hour or a day had passed. She simply wrote until the words eventually dried up, and she lost steam.
Penelope snapped the journal shut, standing with an energy she hadn’t felt in days. Hopefully, she’d finally kissed her jetlag goodbye. She was too wound up just to sit out in the sunroom. It was time to get out and get some much-needed exercise.
She panicked for only a moment while digging through her suitcase, sighing with relief when she found her running shoes, shorts, sports bra, and beaten-up old MSU T-shirt all in one pile.
“Yes!”
A quick stretch, and she was off, hoping she was oriented enough not to get lost. But damn, did it feel good to stretch her legs and move. She remembered how it felt when she’d first started running, how her body wobbled, how quickly she became winded, and how red and blotchy her face would get. It wasn’t a good look. She started off going short distances early in the morning and was surprised by how quickly her stamina increased. YouTube was an excellent source for toning exercises that she could do at home. She didn’t have to set foot in the gym, where other people could judge her. It was only later, talking to another teacher, that she realized how supportive people at a gym could be. That had never even occurred to her.
Soon, she wasn’t doing it to prove herself to Carson anymore or because she was ashamed of her body. She was doing it because she loved how it made her feel and how much more energy it gave her. She was proud of herself and sometimes even in awe of what she was truly capable of. Could she be a little overly obsessive? Probably. But this was new, and she was still so scared it would disappear overnight.
“Right,” she breathed out. That was enough self-reflection. She let her mind go blank, taking in the sights around her. She needed to keep track of her location, and there was still so much to see.
Penelope’s lips curved up in a self-satisfied smile as she bounced down the stairs after a hot shower, ready for a deserved cup of coffee. Heading into the kitchen, she poured herself a full mug, reached into the fridge knowing exactly where to find the cream, and opened the drawer to grab a spoon on the first try.
“See, Finn,” she whispered. “I am doing perfectly well making myself at home.”
Coffee in hand, she headed for the sunroom. All congratulatory thoughts faded as she drew closer. Her steps slowed as she strained to listen, then braced herself as she hurried forward.
There, cocooned in blankets, a box of Kleenex in front of her, and wadded up tissues all around, was Bonnie. One glance told Penny she’d been crying for a while. Her eyes were red, her face splotchy. Her usually straight shoulders were bent in defeat.
“Bonnie,” she was next to her in seconds. She put down the now-forgotten coffee and pulled her friend into her arms. “Oh, Bonnie, I’m so sorry.”
“Why?” came the pathetic wail from the mouth now pressed against her shoulder. “I thought he loved me. Whyyyy?”
Rocking her gently, Penny cuddled her closer as she rubbed her back. She had known this was coming. As strong as Bonnie was, this had been a hurt too deep to brush over lightly. With her escape to Ireland safely completed, her walls were now crumbling, and the pain was escaping.
“I can’t even imagine what he was thinking. You were the best thing to happen to him. You made him so happy; I don’t understand.”
“Idon’t understand,” Bonnie said more emphatically, through another sob.
“Maybe he will….”
“Don’t,” Bonnie cut her off. “I’m not going to pine for him. To sit around waiting for him to change his mind. I did that with my mom. I imagined so many scenarios where she came back. But she never did. I can’t do that again. I won’t.”
“I know, I know,” Penny whispered soothingly into her ear.
“Why do people keep leaving me?” Her voice was softer this time, that of a scared child.
“Oh, love,” which instinctively brought out Penny’s comforting teacher voice, “I don’t know. I don’t understand how anyone could want to leave you. You are the most amazing person. You inspire me every day to try to live life a little more, to be brave, to stop being so scared of everything.”
“I’m scared of things,” Bonnie admitted through a sniffle. “After this, I am so scared of everything. That’s why I wanted to get away from it all. I don’t think I can stand to be hurt like this again. I just don’t think I can do it.”
Penny lifted Bonnie’s chin, looking her in the eyes, taking the time to hold this beautiful woman’s gaze. “You will do it. It’s too much of who you are. You are big and bold and love life more than anyone I know. But it’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to curl up and cry and even be scared for a while. But I know you, and you will come through this. There’s no rush. And until you do, I’ll be right here. For as long as you need me. I’m right here.”
Bonnie clung to her tightly. Minutes passed before her fingers finally loosened, and she peeked up. “So, you’ll eat ice cream and watch sad movies with me?” Bonnie asked hopefully.
“That’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for since we arrived, you goose. I mean, coffee and ice cream go great together, right?”
Bonnie managed a watery smile. “Sure.”
Hours later, as the credits ran forHe’s Just Not That into You, Penny stretched and groaned.
They were both on the same couch curled up in blankets with Bonnie’s head resting on Penelope’s shoulder. Penny was pretty sure Bonnie had drifted off at times, but figured she probably needed it. But now she was starting to get a crick in her neck and needed to shift positions.