Chapter 1
Penelope felt ridiculous as she slipped through her parents’ front door, making a beeline for the stairs. She wasn’t exactly drunk, but she’d caught herself slurring more than once in the last hour, prompting her hasty departure.
It was a tradition for all the elementary teachers to meet for drinks on the last day of school—one she was happy to participate in. If only she’d accounted for her lack of lunch (it had been a half-day, after all, so why pack one, except drinks), she would have been fine. Unfortunately, she hadn’t. So here she was, sneaking in like the guilty teenager she’d never been, grateful it was only six blocks from the bar, and very much aware it wasn’t necessarily a safer choice.
Her dad was hosting his own annual end-of-the-school-year party. As the middle school principal, he liked to host all his teachers to show how much he appreciated their hard work. Instead of just colleagues, though, this one had actual past teachers of hers attending. They would be milling around the pool, telling stories of some of the funnier or more trying students. While they considered her one of them now, a few still liked to tell stories about shy, mousy Penny. In her current condition, she wasn’t up to plastering on a fake smile and making conversation.
The kitchen was off to her right, where she could hear more voices, but when no one called out her name, she felt she’d successfully navigated it. She climbed the stairs more for speed than silence, taking them two at a time. At the top, she made a quick left turn, reaching the safety of her room.
Of course, this was the kind of thing that happened when you still lived with your parents, she berated herself.
“Nope.” Half-drunk Penelope shook her head. “Not gonna do that.”
Running her hand down her newly flat stomach, she reminded herself of her recent accomplishments. She had, after all, just received her master’s and completed her third year of teaching. She even had twenty-one heartfelt, not-too-badly-misspelled, thank-you letters from her second graders to prove she was quite good at it. She was on a waiting list for her dream apartment, which should hopefully be available soon. And, after years of never being quite comfortable with her weight, she was going to show up at her best friend’s wedding looking amazing.
Very cautiously, Penelope hooked the pink frilly curtain of her bedroom window with a single finger and peeked out at the fenced-in backyard where most of the guests were still hanging out. Such a familiar sight—one she’d looked down on many times over the years. As a child, she’d been too young to participate. As a teenager, she didn’t want to participate. And now… she felt she shouldn’t be here to participate.
These self-criticisms of never venturing further, never trying for more or new, were the hardest to shut out. She felt the alcohol in her bloodstream turning her melancholy. There had been a time when she’d imagined a completely different life for herself. She’d fancied herself a writer. After winning some minor accolades in college and being published in a magazine, she’d thought she’d keep going with it. But how many people really made a living at something like that? Teaching was the smarter choice. The practical thing to do—at least, that’s what she’d convinced herself.
Now, her little nest egg was growing. She was making her way in the world… well, almost. It really was time this current living arrangement came to an end, though. Whose mom was stillpacking their lunch for them at twenty-five? Yes, that’s right. Hers.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and Penelope dropped the curtain, jumping back.
“Shoot,” she whispered under her breath, worrying one of her parents had spotted her and was requesting her presence. She pulled it out awkwardly, fumbling for a moment before reading the name: Bonnie.
A delighted smile lit her face as she answered. She had the perfect excuse for hiding in her room now.
“Bonnie,” she all but squealed, realizing her overly excited state as she did it.
The usual response of “Penny!” did not come. Instead, she heard a rasping, ragged intake of air, followed by sobbing.
“Bonnie?” she repeated, her enthusiasm replaced by concern.
“Oh, Penny, he’s such a bastard, a horrible, horrible prick! He’s an asshole, and I hate him!” her best friend from college said through sobs.
“Mr. Denehy?” Penny asked with cautious hopefulness because the only other option she could think of was much worse.
“No.” Bonnie’s annoyance could be heard even through her tears. “Not my boss. Felix! My ex-fiancé!”
Penny’s hand flew to her mouth. “No,” she whispered.
“Yeeeeeees,” the word kept going. Penny could picture Bonnie’s shaking body and the tears rolling down her face.
Sobered by her friend’s pain, Penny’s mind started to whirl. This must be a mistake—a fixable mistake. It had to be fixable. Felix couldn’t break up with Bonnie. He adored her. He would never leave her.
Her tongue felt thick in her mouth as she slowly formed her next words: “What happened?” Dropping onto her bed, she gripped her phone. Her body tensed, waiting for the answer.
“I don’t even know. One minute, we were having a lovely walk, and everything was fine.” There was a deep intake of breath, and then the story continued. “We’d met up at campus after work, you know, revisiting all our moments as MSU students. All the fun,” the word came out as a croak, but still Bonnie pushed on, “we’d had going to Spartan games. Stopping by our old dorms, thinking about where exactly we wanted to have our wedding photos. And the next thing I knew, he was stammering some of the stupidest excuses I’ve ever heard about putting the brakes on things, waiting, holding off on the wedding. And then he left me. He practically fled to his car and left me.”
“No, no, no, Felix,” Penny whimpered, shaking her head as she imagined Bonnie deserted, standing by the Red Cedar River.
“No sympathy for him,” Bonnie said curtly.
“I just can’t imagine… he couldn’t have meant it.”
“That’s what I thought, too. But that was two days ago.” The tears seemed to be fading as a more stoic voice took over.
“And he hasn’t called?” Penny asked tentatively.
