He sighed. “Bell, something I don’t understand... we’ve always been powerful. Father told us our powers exceeded star elementals, that the Wilds made us stronger than normal. But you’re doing something that’s far beyond that. You brought seven different people together in the same dream. You merged all of our subconsciouses. How?” His thick brown eyebrows pinched together. “Did the Wilds do this to you over time? Did it twist your magic even more?”
Kairoth had had the same questions. My answer had always been the Wilds. It must’ve been that cursed placed upon it. But I was beginning to doubt that more and more. Because Soloman was right. I had more power than I should have. More power than I could explain, and I had a feeling I’d only accessed the tip of it.
“I don’t know,” I finally said. “Soloman, I’m starting to think I don’t know anything. There’s so much happening. I just wish you all were here to help me through it. You will be here soon. I promise.”
He grabbed my hands, now smooth and painless in this dream world. He studied them before meeting my gaze. “I know this is what you want, but the others agreed that we can’t let you suffer for us any longer.”
His face was so solemn.
“You have to tell them I won’t stop.”
“We know,” he said.
“You can’t end your lives.” I tucked my legs under me. “Soloman, I’m so close. I have two sweaters knitted. I just need five more?—”
“But you almost killed yourself.” A ribbon of green slashed across his face.
I thought of Driscoll’s and Leoni’s words about possible salves or medicine that could help. “I have a solution,” I lied.
Suspicion flashed in his brown eyes.
“It’s true. A salve that I can put on my hands every night that will draw out the poison. It will keep me safe. I won’t get sick again. I won’t let myself. I’ll be more careful, and I will save you.”
I closed my eyes, reaching for my other brothers, trying to grasp onto them and bring them into this dream, but I didn’t know how. I’d done it once, and that meant I could do it again.
I gave a frustrated huff, wanting to be reunited with all of them again. Wanting stare at their faces and memorize every freckle and mole, every scar.
“You have to tell the others not to do anything rash. Tell them I swear I’ll be smart this time around. Tell them I’m close, Soloman. So close.”
He looked away, his gaze shadowed by darkness.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Do you want me to tell them? I’ll go into everyone’s dreams tonight. I can do that. I have the strength.”
“No.” He held up a hand. “You don’t. You might be able to hide your disfigured hands, but you forgot to hide anything else.” He raised a finger to my eye. “There’s purple smudges under your eyes. You look gaunt, like you’ve lost too much weight. Your hair is a mess.”
“I get it,” I said drily.
“The point is, you might be incredibly powerful, but you’re also still healing. It’s a miracle you survived this.”
Driscoll and Leoni had said the same thing.
“I guess I got lucky.” I shifted again.
He nodded, but by the troubled expression on his face, I could tell he wasn’t buying it.
“There’s something you should know,” he said. “The others will kill me for telling you this, but we’re starting to lose more of ourselves. When this first started, we had full clarity of who we were all the time. But ever since we escaped the Wilds, thatclarity has slowly waned. Now we have maybe a few hours a night where we remember who we are. Every day I feel more swan than man. I think time somehow stopped for us in the Wilds, like it did for everyone else. But now time is ticking again, and we’re struggling.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, afraid that if I tried to speak, I would burst into tears.
“I’m not telling you this to scare you, but I’m worried that soon we’re not going to remember who we are at all, and once that happens, I don’t think this curse can be broken.”
This was far worse than I’d imagined. This meant I no longer had unlimited time to do this.
“I’ll get started knitting sweaters again right away,” I said.
His gaze snapped up to me. “No.” He leaned forward right as a ribbon of green flashed across his face. “You have to heal first, Bell. It’s no good to us if you get sick again, and I don’t want that for you.”
He gathered up my hands in his. “I’ll talk to the others. I’ll let them know you visited me, and I’ll tell them what you said. But you know that we’ll be watching. We’ll be able to tell if you’re lying, if you’re not taking care of yourself. And you know Ryder. You know Jorah. They’re stubborn, and they won’t back down if they think you’re putting yourself in danger.”
