“I’m going to come,” he rasped out as I released it all.
His cock pulsed inside of me. “Bellamy,” he whispered. “Bellamy, this is everything. You are everything.”
I sank back into the bed, feeling tired yet energized, wrecked yet put together, satisfied yet wanting more. I was a bundle of opposites right now, not knowing what I wanted or needed but knowing that Kairoth was right: this was everything.
He finished and lay still for a moment before pulling out and collapsing next to me.
I rolled onto my side to face him, his shadows now hovering at his back.
“You were right,” he said. “Everything will change tomorrow, so I’m glad we had this.” He stroked my hair. “Why were you never afraid of my shadows? Afraid of me? My entire godhood,all I experienced was mortals running from me. Out of all the gods, I was the only one mortals worshipped out of fear, not because they wanted something from me but because they hoped to be spared by me.”
My heart broke at his words. I couldn’t imagine what a lonely life that must’ve been, not having anyone to ever really see you for who you were. Then again, maybe I could imagine it.
I shifted my head on the silk pillow.“Because I see myself in you. I may not have shadows around me, but I always had walls that were just as effective. I kept everyone at a distance because that was easier than risking them leaving or dying.”
“So what changed?” he asked.
I gave him a rueful smile.“You kept showing up. The more I got to know you, the more I listened to your stories, the more I realized you were worth the risk. That if something did happen to you or you left or got bored of me, then at least I’d have these memories, these moments, to hold onto.”
“Get bored of you?” He quirked an eyebrow. “Bellamy, there is not a world where that’s possible.”
He kept stroking my hair, the motion so soothing.
“What made you different from the other gods?”
“What do you mean?” His eyebrows drew together.
“Why did you keep so much of your humanity while they didn’t?”
He didn’t even have to think about my question before answering. “My family. If they’d never found me, I might have very well gone down the same path as the other gods. But I think when my family came, it made me remember the very human parts of myself. It was like a change in the wind. Suddenly it was blowing me in the other direction, where I yearned to just be human again so I could be with my family, love them, be loved in return.”
He'd told me the story of his family on one of our many terrace nights. It was so incredibly sad. Just like I’d lost my family, Kairoth had lost his, only I had a chance to get mine back. He’d never have that.
“Is that why you were so willing to help with my brothers when you found out the truth?”
He stopped stroking my head and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’d love to say yes. And maybe that was a part of it. But, no, Bellamy, that wasn’t why.”
I sat up, hair tumbling over my shoulders.“Then why?”
He reached out for me and brushed a thumb across my cheek. “Because I was falling in love with you, and I couldn’t stand the thought of you feeling what I felt when I lost my family for good. I’d do anything to keep you from feeling that way. To protect you from that.”
He said a lot of words, but the only ones I could focus on were the first part. I pointed to my heart, then lay a palm flat against his. It beat in a steady rhythm.
His gaze softened. “Whatever happens moving forward, I just want you to know that you reminded me I’m not just a monster, that I can be more, that I can be seen as more.”
I reached up and kissed him, and his hand slid down my belly and between my legs as his cock hardened against my hip. His fingers found my clit, and his shadows coalesced around us, grazing my thighs. Tomorrow everything would change. I gasped as one of the shadows flicked my clit. But I wouldn’t think about that tonight.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
BELLAMY
The next morning came far too soon. The curtains remained closed, but slivers of sunlight escaped through the openings, slicing across the dark room.
Kairoth had woken me early in the morning, kissing my neck and my mouth, rousing me from my sleepy state. We made love, this time going slow, gentle, savoring every touch and caress.
Now we dressed in silence. I pulled on my trousers and shirt while Kairoth dressed in his dark pants and black tunic.
We stood at the end of the bed, facing each other.
