That took me aback. “You don’t think I should go home?”
She took a deep breath. “I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. I think the problem is that you can’t commit either way. You’re in Apolis, but your heart is elsewhere. Then you’re finally free, and your mind is still back in Apolis, weighed down with guilt. Make a choice and then stop running from what you’veleft behind.” She searched my face. “It’s not a decision that has to be made right this minute. Like I said, we’re uncovering more and more information about the shadow court every day, transcribing old texts from our ancestors, finding maps of the island. Maybe some of it might spark an idea, a plan. Or maybe it won’t. Either way, you deserve peace with whatever decision you make. Don’t go back to Apolis with your head hanging low.” Her lips quirked. “Besides, Driscoll is already driving me crazy and he needs a distraction. Maybe helping you will be good for him.”
I groaned. “I can’t hear another one of his limericks.”
She wrinkled her nose. “They’re truly awful.”
“He wants to make you proud, you know,” I said.
“I can’t believe he joined your voyage, that he boarded an actual pirate ship. I honestly can’t picture it.” Liliath let out a soft laugh.
“You know, shockingly, he’s done okay. Other than the whining about his clothes getting wet, his hair getting wet, smelling like fish all the time, and the food tasting like dirt...”
“So basically . . . everything?” Liliath asked.
We burst into laughter. “Somehow he’s made it work,” I said when I’d finally caught my breath.
“Well, he doesn’t have anything to prove. I just wish he understood that.” Liliath stood, and I stood with her. She reached out and pulled me in for a hug. “I have a council meeting to get to, but just think about what I said?”
I nodded and watched as she walked toward the door, her words turning over in my mind.
Chapter Thirty-Five
The next day, I sat in the massive library, made out of the biggest tree I’d ever seen. It was such a unique space that I had trouble concentrating on any of the books sitting in front of me, instead letting my gaze constantly wander. Tufts of fluffy green moss sprouted in between the shelves and trellises of flowers hung down the walls. A skinny pair of spiral staircases swept upward to a second level, filled with even more shelves of books.
Tables filled the first level, bouquets bursting with bright colors sitting on each one as centerpieces. I reached out and let my finger trail across a flower petal. Blood and water, how did anyone get reading done here?
“Help has arrived!” Driscoll stood in the open circular entrance of the library, his arms spread out wide.
Leoni was just coming down the stairs with an armful of books. She walked toward me, dumping the books on the table. “This is everything I could find on the shadow court.”
Driscoll approached and pulled out a chair. It scraped across the ground and he sank into it. “Did anyone hear that I arrived? I at least expected a few claps, maybe some cheers.”
Leoni ignored him, flipping through the pages of the thick green book in front of her.
“Is shorty in a mood?” Driscoll pointed his thumb at her.
“You know I can hear you,” she said.
Driscoll raised his eyebrows. “Oh, now you’re speaking to me?”
“She’s mad at me, not you,” I told Driscoll.
After she’d caught me with Bastian out in the courtyard, she’d sunk back into her terse mood.
Leoni slammed her book shut. “Yes, I am mad at you. Thank you for finally acknowledging it.”
I leaned back in my chair. “Out with it, then. Why hold back? Let your feelings go so we can move on.”
Leoni pushed up the sleeves of her tunic. “Oh, you want me to let it go?”
Driscoll’s gaze bounced between us. “Normally, I’d live for this sort of thing, but maybe not in the library.”
Leoni jabbed a finger at me. “You snuck out to see the pirate lord and were dancing with him. His hand was in between your breasts. Were you about to have sex with him? Right there in the hedges?”
“What if I was?” I snapped. “How does it affect you that I’m having sex with the pirate lord? Which I’m not, by the way, nor have I since he broke my heart.”
Driscoll’s mouth hung open while Leoni fumed. Scholars who stood on the second floor frowned down at us.
