“Why?” I said, angry tears sprouting in my eyes,“Why then have Emon become a soul wraith if bartering his soul was the end result.”
She took a step towards me, her elegant hand outstretched to sooth my pain but I flinched back, my arms wrapping around myself and digging into my sides. Unable to stand looking at her, I turned away to focus on Riella playing with the shadows.
“I know you do not trust the sight, Remnant, but there has never been one more clear in my lifetime. Daemon knew this.”
I shook my head, swallowing back the bitter tears.
"Daughter, I know you are worried but what matters most now is that you accomplished what you set out to do and now you have what you need to defeat Deirdre." Shea's voice echoed with fatherly pride but I felt anything but. I was beaten and battered, bereft, as if the trophy won held no meaning anymore.
This feeling—I recognized it, it was the same one Bane had the day he returned from the blood wars and like the swordmaster, I latched onto my anger to drive away the emptiness.
“You mean I now have the ability to save the Goddess, your sister. How long have you suspected that Faerie has been trapped in The Sanguine?” I seethed.
A cold smile formed on Shea’s lips but his eyes lit even brighter with pride. I goddess damn hated it. If this was what it was like to be a god, scheming without a single pulse on the feelings of others then it could go to the pits of Avalon’s Hell.
“Faerie has always done her own thing but to abandon her world…that is much unlike her,” he drawled, “So how long have I known? Since the Blood Wars ended actually.”
“And you have done nothing about it?” I snapped. “Instead you brought me here to go in your stead. That was your end game? Not the lilin, not the souls of our people, not the souls of my friends or my soulmate. None of that mattered to you. It has always been about your failure to save your own sister.”
The death god’s arms folded, stretching the silk shirt over broad shoulders, his green eyes turning to narrow slits. “You shouldn’t be surprised, my daughter, that we share the same loathing for those who have wronged us.” He gave me a pointed look and I scowled back, “My involvement in Faerie’s conflict with our brother, Ichor, the God of Blood, cost me my family and a future life with your mother. For the first few hundred years after the wars, I simply didn’t give two shits about what happened tomy sister and before you go raising your judgmental head, a few hundred years is nothing for a God. It may as well be days for us and yes, Faerie is part of the end game. I know your healer explained this to you about the balance of your world. Ichor gifts life through his blood, Faerie nourishes it, and I—I have the power to take it. Without Faerie’s powers, your world cannot be nourished…the lands will continue to die, lands my granddaughter will someday grow up in but—she is not the true end game. Deirdre crossed a fucking line when she chosemy familyto manipulate,my familyto destroy, and I will relish the moment you stop her heart.” The sky darkened threateningly, the death god’s bejeweled eyes lighting up with fire, “And when at last, she arrives in Sheol,” he continued, “I will personally torture her putrid soul for all the years she has been gifted living breath. My plans for her after that…well, even Hell would fucking squirm at it.” He grinned, a pure evil smile, the sinister side of my father blatantly revealed behind his cultured poise. “So were my intentions of bringing you here selfish? Perhaps, daughter, if you choose to look at it this way. It still does not change the truth. Without your powers you would not have any chance to defeat Deirdre, and without Faerie, the world you think you are saving would still die. Bringing you here, ensured your survival, your family’s survival, and the dreams you have of a hopeful future with them. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at your shifter, every time you hear your daughter’s laughter, every time you dream at night…a future you never thought you could have but now want with every fiber of your being. Iknowwhat that feels like, and I will do everything I can to make sure youneverhave to live a second longer without that hope. You may not like all my choices, you may not agree with my approach but know this—I will do anything for you, my little chickadee.”
My jaw clenched, our blazing gazes dueling with each other.
My mother stepped between us, her gaze just as hardened. “Remnant, there was a time where you implored me to trust you and I failed to understand—” my eyes cut to hers, seeing that moment clearly. Her, Kade and I standing on the palace balcony in the City of Light, where I had declared my vows to serve the queen as her general. “I am sorry I did not trust you and your decisions, I realized too late that you were protecting your court even while serving another,” she reached out to me, but I flinched away. Her hand fell, “Do not make the same mistake I did Remnant, trust in our words even if you can no longer trust our motives.”
I moved further away, my fingernails digging even deeper into my sides. I did not have the luxury to break now nor did I have Emon to put the pieces back into place. Instead, I willed my heart to turn to ice again, it was the glue I needed to keep it together for the sake of my daughter, to save my new family, to free Emon…
“So be it.” My tone was cold and unfeeling but I could see that my mother understood while Shea’s growling revealed that he did not. She stepped back into her mate and placed a soothing hand on his chest. He looked down at her hand, placing his own over hers, and I could see the painful look they shared between each other.
I did not have time to feel guilt for them, nor could I carry on this conversation further. Not without crumbling.
I searched the dim twilight, "Where is Kade?"
"I am here, sister," Kade’s strong voice called out from behind me.
Pivoting on my heel, my eyes drifted over his tall athletic form, the formal leathers of the shadow forces covering the tattoos we shared, but that did not hide the rest of the similarities between us.
I wanted to run to him, to hold him, and tell him how much I loved him but I didn’t. I released my sides, breathing deeply. "I have obtained the souls for our people as I promised, but I cannot release them in Sheol, the risk is too great. Our people must return to The City of Night, they must return home, and mother cannot leave this place, Kade. Her soul is tied to Shea. Our court will need a leader."
Kade frowned darkly, his green eyes glowing in the twilight. "What are you trying to say Rem Rem?"
"You are their true leader Kade. You always have been," I said softly.
His green eyes shifted over my shoulder to our mother. "You sister speaks truth, my beautiful boy. You have always been what our people needed Kade, and it is time for you to return home." I glanced over my shoulder at her, seeing her soft sorrowful smile. “Our court will flourish under your guidance."
Kade stumbled on his words, shaking his head. "The shadow fae look to your guidance mother. They trust you. They will only see me as a boy trying to fill his mother’s shadow."
Eve snorted. "That may have been true at one time my son, but even in a soulless sleep, they will know who stood watch over them, who visited every member daily, speaking to them daily, these longyears we have spent on death's doorstep it has been you that has been their true leader. It is you they need now, Kade Stellan Shea Dark, not me. My time in Faerie is done." She turned back to our father, his arms unfolding and wrapping around her,his own smile echoing her bittersweet sadness. Lost in him, she brushed back his hair, her eyes full of undying love, "It is also time for me to move on, I have done much in my lifetime for others…now is my time to choose myself."
The death god kissed her softly on the lips. "I will support whatever decision you make, my love."
Kade shook his head. "I—I don't—-"
I couldn’t hold it back any longer and closed the gap, wrapping my arms around his solid frame. "You cannot live a life in death brother. It is time for you to…" I grinned at him, Emon's words echoed from a memory passed, "step out from the shadows."
His face contorted with disgust. "That was horrible." He arched a brow at me in our embrace, glancing over at my Emon’s soulless body. "Did that really work on you?"
I released him then, stepping away to stare at the beautiful shifter and feeling his even more beautiful soul pulse inside me, tainted or not, there wasn’t a any essence in this universe that compared to his. Even in The Well not a single one blazed as brightly as Emon’s.
