Inhaling deep, I laid down my final vow. "And for your assistance, I shall release you from your bindings to me and grant you a full eternal life in the Eithne."
A dreadful hushed silence surrounded me—even the stars stopped their shimmer above.
Then like dominos tipping into one another the souls began to swarm, swirling around me in a cataclysmic spiral, rising higher and higher.
Taking another deep inhale, I tilted my head, my eyes trailing up at the shadow cyclone that whipped my hair around me and threatened to send me stumbling. Exhaling, I watched its apex curve inward, and spread my arms wide.
"This I vow."
A dark comforting embrace fell over my tense shoulders and I smiled softly through my fear, feeling my resolve bolster from my own shadow's embrace right before the lilin pierced my chest.
My mouth tore wide in a silent scream as the floodgates opened and the first soul entered me, then another, and another. All at once, the pain, the suffering, the torment, the rage, the grief, and loss of thousands of lives stolen by death took my own life as well.
Chapter 60
Idon'tknowhowlongI died nor the number of times I was brought back to life.
Over and over again, I was snuffed out, then reborn. The full circle of the travesty I had wrought during Morta, my well known legacy, was now coming to a head, and I told myself this was what I had deserved—but I did not fail to notice, that deep within the darkest recesses of each death was a gentle tenderness in which the shadows joined me, as if to say they did not fully blame me for their end.
By the time I gasped back to life with the last lilin, I was a shivering, weak, mess floating in a shallow pool of The Well, drowning in ankle deep water.
Coughing, I slowly rolled to my hands and knees, instantly feeling the need to purge the darkness I had absorbed. Exhaling deeply, I pulled the shadows from my body and watchedweakly as they formed into the large inky clouds of darkness. Darkness I was so accustomed to.
I had done it.
I had obtained the lilin from The Well of Souls.
They were mine now and I was theirs.
I touched the one soul in my chest that mattered the most. Emon's golden glow was still bright despite the taint there. I ached to feel his arms around me, his breath purring against my lips, his voice rumbling saying how fucking proud he was of me.
I shoved that notion away. No tears would change what had already come to pass, now all that mattered was what I did with the future. Dragging my tired body from the water, I stumbled to stand. The effort reminded me of the last time I had pushed my body to the brink of exhaustion. When I had run the hills of The West Isles with Riella slung across my back.
My eyes widened. Goddess, Riella!
Turning quickly, I looked out over the glassy reflected surface of the waters to see my daughter standing vigilant in the distance with a contorted dark fae shaped figure standing in front of her.
I stumbled with alarm towards her, hearing her tiny voice growl at the being.
"I don't care what you think Zaki! I am going to help maedere! She needs me." Riella stamped her foot and I slowed my panicked stumbling, noting it was her spirit guide.
"Stay." I heard it hiss, then it added. "Mine."
My eyes narrowed and I could feel Emon's soul pulse angrily inside of me.
"I think we feel the same on this one, shifter,"I whispered internally to him.
There was no answer, just the gentle caress of his essence against mine and I swallowed down the bitterness I felt at knowing we would never have an Eithne together.
Hearing my sloppy walking, Riella finally looked up from her angry glare and gasped when she saw me. Pointing her spear at the pookah, she hissed, "Move."
Zaki hissed back at her, then popped out of existence. Dropping her spear on the shadow platform she stood upon, Riella launched herself into The Well's waters. Its depth came to her knees but that did not stop her from shifting quickly into shadow and barreling straight into my chest.
"Maedere!"
Feeling her shadow morph into her fae form, I clutched at her tiny body. Our hearts thundered in unison while we held each other, my nose burying deep into her thick black hair inhaling her scent. Emon had told me once that she smelled like the most beautiful sunlit meadow. I couldn't agree more as I let it soothe all the bitterness and regret inside. The road to holding this sweet miracle in my arms was paved with crushing pain and soul wrenching tragedy but I would do it all over again just to feel her exactly this way.
Like Emon, she was a vital piece of me that had been so achingly missing…a hope I never thought I could ever believe in.
