I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, not one bit. But like me, I tend to think he’s kept some things buried. And his secrets have stemmed back a long, long time. Much longer than mine, which seems miniscule compared to what he’s been through.
My lips part to ask him, but he shifts in his seat and sits back with an oomph. “Ready for the check?” That cheeky half smile returns, like the things we just spoke of are long behind us. And maybe to him, they are.
I get how he would be uncomfortable discussing the past, and tonight isn’t how I expected this to go.
“There’s something in that drink,” he says as he reaches to help me out of the seat. Warm fingers wrap around mine once more. “One more sip and I’ll be confessing all my sins.”
“We can’t have that,” I say, trying to keep my voice light despite my concern, because deep down I think he’s always put on a brave face and that makes me feel sad.
Jay is a tough cookie to crack, and he’s definitely not going to be cracked tonight.
Jay
My fears of tumbling out more than I should have with Jade tonight are shoved to the back of my mind for now. I know fromexperience there’s just no point in dredging up the past. I don’t even know why I started talking about it. I also don’t want to think about texting or calling my mom back. I’m just not ready for any drama with her.
Nothing good can ever come from talking about my mom or wishing she was someone different. Like an actual parent who gives a fuck about me. But she never will be and I’ve accepted that far too long ago to ever re-neg with myself.
I made a promise when I left to live with my grandpa Ray, and after that night on the cliff, that I would never become like her. Never. I would never make another person feel like they were nothing, like a worthless piece of scum.
Instead, I focus on the fact Jade and I had an amazing afternoon, which tumbled into the evening over Japanese food and a carafe of rice wine. Something I never expected in a million years to enjoy. But she’s good company. Easy company.
And I like it a lot.
I drop her back to Beth’s straight after the restaurant. We talk easily in the car about the new fancy footwork we have to practice in our own time, nothing hard or heavy like we did over dinner. I know she must be beat from basically exercising all day, and she mentioned wanting to go over the footage and download some shots to her social media later. I make a mental note to start following her now I know what her page is called, and go stalk her as much as possible.
“I had a great time today,” I say as I idle outside Beth’s townhouse, the Douglas fir trees line the quiet street, tall and bold in their own presence, swaying calmly in the breeze.
She turns a little in her seat, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I did, too.”
“You know I’m going to be dreaming about the hot shoe shuffle all night,” I chuckle.
Jade slaps me on the shoulder. “It’s not the hot shoe shuffle!”
“What aboutcha-cha-cha?” I wiggle my hips in the seat, putting on a pout that would rival Mick Jagger. It never fails to amuse and annoy her at the same time the way I keep saying that stupid phrase.
“You’re too much, Jay! Do you know that?”
“Nah.” I shake my head, even if the convo got heavy before, we’re back to lighter, more stable ground. And it’s no problem at all talking about whatever she needed to get off her chest, it doesn’t phase me.
“I think I’m just enough.”
Tyler and I pass the puck back and forth in one of Coach Carter’s famous drill sessions he loves so much, it’s usually topped off by a round of puck control and some passes and shots to the net. We like to give Ulrich, our larger-than-life goalie, and the reserve, Ollie, a run for their money, keep them on their toes and all of that.
Taylor and Ashton are right next to us as I give them the full rundown on the previous evening’s offerings, when I danced my ass off at the studio and took Jade to dinner.
“You did the fucking cha cha?” Tyler looks at me like I have something unnatural growing on my face and bursts into a fit of laughter, closely followed by Taylor and Ash.
“For real?” Ash balks.
“Hey don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.” I do a quick hip waggle demonstration where more laughing ensues.
“Jade must’ve really done a number on you,” Taylor muses. “I know you’re up for most things, but dancing, Bro? All for the sake of being in the bridal party?”
“You can all laugh,” I say, holding my head high. “But Jade has always wanted to learn how to dance properly, and as the best man, it’s kinda my duty.”
“Yeah, and that’s not all,” Ty mutters from the side of his mouth.
“Wanna say that a bit louder?” I abandon the puck and poke him in the shoulder with the end of my hockey stick.
