And it’s been heavy ever since. I remember that night so vividly because, for the first time since I’d known him, there wasn’t a cheeky smile etched to his face. Not a hint of cockiness, a wise crack or sarcasm. Nor was he laughing at something. He was quiet. Subdued. And I’d never seen Jay like that before. He was always the life of the party.
And although I wanted to know what happened while Dad was out with Robbie, I equal parts didn’t want to know as well. I guess because I knew it was bad.
I knew Jay didn’t have the greatest home life, but he seemed to make the best of it somehow. I think he’d learned at an early age to shut things out and deal with it. That’s how it came across, anyway.
But seeing him that night made me wonder how much of it was an act. How much of his usually happy disposition was real? Was Jay hiding behind an invisible veil?
My eyes slide over to him now. Azure eyes staring back at me quizzically, his eyebrows raised, a slight tilt of his head.
My lips purse. “Did you just say something and I totally blanked out?”
“You’re always blanking out, J. I hate to break it to you. And yes, you were firing something back at me about kissing strangers, and if I do it often.”
“Ah, that.”
“Yes, that. And I asked you first.”
“Well, the answer is no. It was totally impromptu of me that night at the bar. I don’t even need to knowyouranswer to that.”
He laughs. “Probably better that way.”
My eyes roll in exasperation as I finish up the dishes. “Moving on, do you feel sustained enough to take me skating?”
His eyebrows lift and he pauses at my statement, his hand raking over his well chiseled chin, his lips parting. He’s well chiseled everywhere, if I’m being honest. That’s never been an issue. He may as well be a wall of thunder at six feet, compared to my tiny five feet frame.
A look crosses over his face and his eyes linger a little longer on mine. It’s all in the eyes with him. The intensity draws the heat to my face quicker than I can blink. Why the hell am I blushing? And why is he looking at me like that?
His face has equal parts sexy and cocky written all over it. Jay has always had the ability to unglue you within seconds. I’m well aware it’s only now that I’m really letting myself notice.
I can’t fool myself into thinking he’s been a good boy, he’s never made any bones about his wild and often reckless ways. Maybe memories of us getting up close and personal at the bar still has me a little on edge and easily flustered.
Usually I take all of his remarks with a pinch of salt, but I can’t seem to getthe kissout of my head.
I notice he’s been dodging around me since then, too. We went our separate ways that night, of course, after I finally managed to prize Beth away from the Hawks rookie, Jake Hudson.
She wasn’t elated about me doing that, or about calling it a night. But she’d had one too many cosmos already, and she had to work the next day…
“I can’t believe you pulled me away from Jake Hudson!” she moans in the cab all the way back to her place.
“I was saving you from yourself! You know damn well what those hockey guys are like.”
“Says you who was dirty dancing with your bestie, Jay Jefferson, and you didn’t even know!”
I throw her a look. “It was dark, and I haven’t seen JJ in years, and he’s not my bestie.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“We’re you really wanting to bring Jake back to your place?”
She sighs, resting back into the cab seat and waves it off with a flail of her hand. “I guess we’ll never know, will we? Though, in hindsight, I probably wouldn’t have known what to do with him. It would have been way too intimidating, even after those cocktails.”
I can’t help but giggle at her words. “I’m sure you would have figured it out. I’m sorry if I dragged you out of there.”
Beth shrugs. “It’s okay. Now I know Jake hangs out with Jay, and Jay’s practically your highschool bestie, or your brother’s anyway, so who knows what the future could hold.”
We laugh all the way back to her house because I wouldn’t put it past her to meet up with Jake again. And as for me and JJ slow dancing, groping and kissing against the wall… I have to pretend like it never happened.
“I guess I’m sustained enough,” Jay’s voice breaks me from my reverie again, I seem to be going off in a daydream a lot around him. When my eyes dance down to his lips, they quirk into that mischievous smile I remember so well. He gives me a wink as he answers my question, something about being sustained enough for ice skating. Though I notice there’s an underlying connotation in his tone, which I do my best to ignore.
