Leaving out his arms, I pull the sheets up from Ambrose’s hips to his throat.
I tuck myself in at his side, ignoring Valaria’s questioning glance as I wrap myself around the man she knows as my brother.
Thoughts of us finding him too late fill my mind, and I can’t face them.
I need comfort. The satin against my skin does nothing for me. I reach for his wavy hair, twirling damp locks between my fingers. It only helps a little.
“You remember we’d lie like this years ago. You wanted to end it all back then, too. But you wouldn’t leave me behind. To distract you, I’d read to you. Do you remember?” I look up at his haunting image, and not even the red lips can turn me away. “You have tears.” I feel over the drying tracks. “I have tears, too. Don’t leave me now. ‘I cannot live without my soul.’”
My parents appear beyond us, waiting at his bedside, just to the side of Valaria.
“You can’t take him.” I shake my head. “You can’t take him from me.” I’ll never stop crying if they do. I can’t stop now.
“No, he isn’t going anywhere.” Valaria ignores the person on the phone and is blissfully ignorant of my parents’ presence at her side as she tries to soothe me with a gentle rub of my leg.
Her attention drifts back to the phone. “He is barely breathing. He slit his wrists. How fucking long are you going to be?” There’s barely a pause. “Right, good.”
I sob, placing a kiss on his cold lips. “God, what have you done?” I say again, the words breaking through my sobs. “How did you ever think I could live without you? I can’t. You have to come back. Please, come back.” I kiss his lips twice more because three has always felt lucky to him.
His eyes, while still closed, flutter.
“Ambrose? Wake up, please wake up.”
A weak sound leaves his lips. A groan that my broken mind convinces me sounds something like my name.
“Oh, my god. Stay with me. Please, stay with me.”
Running my hands over every inch of skin showing, I try my best to keep him warm.
Valaria rushes from the room and into the adjoining bathroom, and my parents step closer.
“You’re not having him. You can’t.” I hold him tighter. “He won’t go with you. Don’t make him, please don’t make him.”
Valaria returns with two clean, wet towels. Too lost in all that’s happening, I didn’t even hear her running water. She steps through my parents’ image, and they fade into nothing behind her.
“What are we doing?” I ask, forcing myself up as she pulls one of Ambrose’s hands from beneath the sheets.
“Raise his other hand. He’s cut both wrists. Elevate them and use this—” She hands me one of the clean cloths. “And apply pressure to help stop the bleeding.”
“How do you know how to do this?”
She flicks me a wary glance before wiggling her wrist until her sleeve rises and reveals an old scar.
“I did it in my teens. My dad was a paramedic.”
I copy her every move, praying with all the hope in the world that if it worked to save her, it’ll save my Ambrose, too.
CHAPTER 75
Dollie—present day
Ireenter the waiting room outside of Ambrose’s room after a quick bathroom break. It’s been more than eight hours since Valaria and I found him after he tried to end his life, but I’m the one who looks like death. To the point that three separate nurses have asked me if I want my face looked at today.
The swelling around my eyes and the big, puffy top lip prevented each of them from receiving a convincing no.
I can’t leave here until I’ve seen Ambrose… spoken to him.
I’ve far too many concerns that this is my karma. That I’ll lose him for what I did.
