“You didn’t mean to hurt them, though, right?”
She really has no idea it wasn’t me, as she sits there on her knees, begging me to tell her I didn’t mean it.
My chest rises and falls slowly, as I find a sense of serenity in the fact that this way hurts her less.
Me taking the blame will hurt her less.
I shake my head.Please, don’t hate me.
I drop to my knees with her, forgetting the pain in my leg when everything inside hurts so much more.
I’d never intentionally hurt them. Please, don’t abandon me. I need you so much right now.
I’m risking everything for her. If we get caught?—
That thought cuts off as her eyes see the sadness in mine. “We have to call the police.”
I have. They’re almost here.
Sirens blast around, my chest rising and falling faster.
I crawl toward her, and she stumbles away from me, her hand landing on the blade that cuts through what looks like a fresh injury.
I clutch the blade from her, putting my prints all over the handle for the second time before I throw it into the distance.
I’d never hurt you. I’d do anything for you.
Always have. Always will.
A pounding fist slams on the door, the word “POLICE!” seeping through the old wood.
I stretch my hand out to Dollie, praying she’ll take it, the same way I prayed my father would.
There’s only a small hesitation before my fingers wrap around her small ones, and I drag her in, not letting go as we both cry.
The police will be in here any second, invited by the sounds of our sobs.
“I’ll tell them you didn’t mean it. Your history is on record. They’ll know you didn’t mean it.” Her arms lock around my body, those little unicorn pajamas soiled with our parents’ blood. “They’ll know you couldn’t mean it. I know you couldn’t. You could never hurt anyone.”
I take in all her words, saving them all for a low day that I’ll no doubt experience back on a ward, or worse, in a padded or stone cell.
I hold her that bit tighter too as police charge in, one of them instantly spotting us up on the second floor.
He shouts something about this being my dad’s house.
He’s in a different squad, but dad seems to know everyone—knew everyone.
The cop’s partner follows him closely, both of them pointing guns, both of them yelling something about us breaking away from each other, the second their eyes see the scene around us.
They surround us, one on each side.
I dry my eyes on Dollie’s pajamas, and those little unicorns shrink as I let a cop pull her away. I turn to the police officer behind me, hands up and silently admitting, Ithink I just killed my parents.
Force takes me to the ground, my head on the carpet with all the germs that Mom and her religious hoovering don’t reach.
My mind starts reeling here, enough to block out Dollie’s sobs and the aggression from these cop, who slams me back into the ground and cuffs me too hard, while I’m not even resisting.
Will an insanity defense be enough to put me back in an institution?
