Shane’s face set in a twisted scowl. The tears rushing from my eyes and my rocking make it hard to pick up on the anger that radiates from him.
“He’s alive,” I stutter, forcing the rocking to slow. “He’s alive.”
My racing heart knows it’s true, refusing to believe otherwise, but my eyes still drip.
“He is alive… unfortunately.”
“Then why would you say something like that! What the fuck is wrong with you!” I yell, not caring about his puffing chest as I climb to my feet.
“I just wanted to see if you’d cry.”
“Why?” I ask through a broken sob.
“Why? Why! We’ve spent our entire fucking lives together. I’ve had to support you and feed you, and now, you want to give it all up. It’s gotta be because of him. We have a few days apart where you guys are home alone, and now this?”
“It was your idea not to stop by.”
“And if I did, would I have found you guys that little bit too close?”
I encourage my face to hide the truth, but my heavy breathing likely gives me away. My mouth says nothing, fearing he already knows more.
“I mean, if you did get too close, do you know how fucking sick it would be? To sleep with your brother.”
Okay, so he doesn’t actually know anything. I can avoid the truth and the anger it’ll cause.
“Shane, I never slept with Ambrose. Not recently, not ever.”
“So, why the fuck do you want to end our relationship all of a sudden after I come home and try to do something nice. You’re not even acting like you. You seem cold and distant.”
Yes, because I found out awful things this week.
Like, you lying about the letter.
What I did to my parents.
Glancing around Shane, I continue hiding the truth. “Could it not be because you’re trying to get rid of all I have left of my family?”
Shane has nothing to say in reply. He moves to the center of my parents’ room, surrounded by upcycled furniture and pretty decoupage designs, and I move to the doorway.
“You shouldn’t have done this without my permission.”
“You know what, you’re right. I’m sorry.”
He doesn’t sound sorry with his rushed words.
“Can you just get in here and take a look at all this free space? Maybe you’ll even agree when you see I’ve kept the basics.”
“The basics? It’s a shell.” I glance around the doorframe at the lack of personality any room has after a Shane cleaning spree.
“Stop being so ungrateful. I’ve worked hard.”
Dozens of reusable sacks fill the room, each one overflowing with everything from Mom’s underwear, to Dad’s endless collection of work ties, to the trinkets they collected over the years.
“I’ve seen, but it was for nothing, because I still want to keep everything.”
“Even your Mom’s panties? Don’t you think that’s kinda sick?”
“There are other things in that sack.” I point to one of the sacks, where some of Dad’s things hang out of the top. “Dad’s ties. You can’t toss out Dad’s ties. He wore that yellow one to their wedding, and I had a dress the same color.”
