“What if he wakes up and I’m gone?”she whispered, her voice trembling.“I can’t risk that.Don’t ask me to.”
“He would understand.”
“ButIwouldn’t.”She jerked her chin away, shaking her head.“I’ll go home and rest when he’s awake.Until then, I’ll nap in this chair.”She settled back against the recliner beside the bed, and I knew there was nothing I could say to get through to her.I could only try to hold things together and keep up with the calls and emails asking for any word on Alessandro’s condition.I might have been president of the company, but in their hearts, his people were still his people.
I couldn’t help but wonder as I stood at my wife’s side and watched his chest rise and fall whether my people would react with such genuine emotion if something like this happened to me.
And whether any of them would hold a vigil by my side the way Mira did.
14
MIRA
Clay had handled a lot as I reflected on everything, reading some of the cards that came with the flowers that had to be sent home since he was still in the ICU.“The management team in Sonoma,” I whispered, setting a card down.“Things look so great up there right now.Clay and I were there two weeks ago.Everything is so green.You should definitely pay a visit after you get out of here.”
After he got out of here.I had to believe the time would come.It was the only thing I could cling to.He would get out of this.He had to.“I finally took a shower,” I told him, wincing over my shoulder.The only response was the rhythmic beeping from his heart monitor, with the readout on the screen over his head telling me his pulse was steady.“They were nice enough to let me use the shower here, in your bathroom.It’s not like you’re using it right now, right?”
Even if it had taken Clay a lot of bullying to get me in there, I felt childish, especially since washing up made me feel a lot more human.The tears I’d shed while the water hid the sound were helpful too.I had been holding back for fear of Papa waking up and finding me in an emotional state.
“I have to admit, Clay’s been great.”I held a finger to my lips.“But don’t tell him that.He’ll get an even bigger head than he already has.I guess I should thank you.If it wasn’t for you setting things up, I wouldn’t have him helping me with all this stuff.”
He had gone home to shower and dress, but I knew what he hadn’t wanted to share.There were work things that needed to be taken care of, naturally.It had been five days since Papa’s heart attack, and the world could only pause for so long.People could still feel terribly sympathetic, but questions needed answering, decisions needed to be made.
There was also a gala in the works, something his press manager had come up with.I could see the reasoning behind a splashy welcome to the man helming our combined brands.Still, it felt kind of twisted thinking about anything like that while Papa lay in a hospital bed.
“I already told Clay I’m not going to any party if you’re not awake yet.Some things I can compromise on, but that’s not one of them.”I stood at the foot of his bed, arms folded.“So you had better wake up, or else a lot of people are going to ask why Clay’s wife couldn’t show up and then why Clay would throw a party while you’re so sick.”
It was an ugly thought.One I didn’t like having.As far as I knew, the gala was weeks away and barely half planned.I would worry about it when the time came.
One of the nurses knocked on the open door.“Excuse me, but there’s someone here who wants to see you.I’m not sure how he got up here, but we wouldn’t let him back without your say-so.”
Immediately, the hair on the back of my neck rose.With a glance toward my unconscious father, I asked, “Who is it?”
“Matteo Lamberti?”
For fuck’s sake.I had told him what happened to Papa, but that was as much as we’d communicated since I walked into the hospital.He wasn’t exactly at the top of my list of priorities at a time like this.I had to be quick.I didn’t want to leave Papa.
“Where is he?”I pulled the scrunchie from my hair and shook out the bun I had wound after showering.The waves had air-dried, and I was not wearing a drop of makeup.I had hardly slept for the better part of a week.
In other words, I was not exactly in mental or physical shape to accept visitors, but what was I supposed to do?Kick him out?What a shame it was so tempting as I followed the nurse to a waiting room down the hall, which was empty except for the blond man who stood at the window with his hands behind his back.
I almost forgot how handsome he was.The regal bearing that reflected his breeding.Four generations of Lamberti men had practically cornered the market on California wines well before Matteo came into the world.Unlike me, he was happy enough floating along, enjoying the fruits of their labor.Strangely enough, I’d never cared much about that until now.It didn’t bother me.Why did it now?
He turned on his heel and almost ran across the room with his arms outstretched.“Thank God.I was afraid I’d have to storm the place.”
He stiffened when I did and frowned when I backed up a step.“Please,” I whispered, looking over my shoulder to make sure nobody had noticed while passing by.“They’ve seen me with my husband for the past five days.”
“Oh, please.”His arms dropped to his sides, and his shoulders sank.“I can’t even hug you now?Your dad is in such bad shape, and I can’t hug you and say I’m sorry?”
“Nobody is stopping you from saying you’re sorry.We don’t need rumors flying around.You know things are already tough enough right now.”And I sincerely regretted not asking the nurse to send him away when I had the chance.He just didn’t get it.
“How are you?God, you look…” His dark eyes narrowed, and his full mouth twisted in something close to dismay.“You look like you’re having a really difficult time with this.”
“Because I am.”I didn’t have it in me to smile, even if it meant reassuring him.I was empty.
“I only want to be here for you.”He placed his hands on my shoulders and squeezed gently.“What can I do?”
“Try to understand, please.That’s all I ask.We have to, you know…” I didn’t need this.I had more than enough weighing on me.More than enough regret too.I regretted every moment I spent angry with Papa, even if he did deserve it at the time.But it was such a waste.What if I wasted some of our last moments together being angry with him?
