“Run away from me,” he explains. Then, leaning closer and lowering his voice even more, “When I get too close.”
“I—”
“And it’s the least I can do.”
“What?”
His eyes flick back and forth between mine as he drawls, “What kind of a big brother would I be if I didn’t save my baby sister’s best friend?”
I blink.
That’s how.That’swherehe knows me from. A giant wave of relief flows through my system and I almost sag in his hold. My mind was going in million different places. Bad places. But I should’ve known. I should’ve thought of that first. Because he’s right. Iamhis sister’s best friend. Or rather,oneof her best friends. Because his sister—Callie—has a lot of friends. And a few years ago, I became one of them.
I know what it looks like though. I’m a stalker so maybe I designed it that way. I orchestrated a meeting with Callie so I could get close to the Thorne family, and finally break the news about who I am.
But I swear, Iswear to fucking God, that wasn’t—isn’t—my plan. It wasn’t my intention to become her friend at all. But then somehow, we both ended up at the same high school, and despite me keeping a careful distance from her, we became friends and she’s exactly as I thought she would be. Like she always seemed from a distance. Warm and friendly and so kind. Sometimes I wish I could tell her who I really am, but I can’t.
In any case, he’s right. I do run away when he’s close. I don’t look at him. I don’t talk to him. I pretend he doesn’t exist because I have no other choice. My obsession with him is already too strong; I don’t need to fan the flames. Even now I should insist on him letting me go and running but instead I say, “I just… Congratulations.”
His eyes narrow. “For what?”
“For your… engagement.”
His fingers on my arm flex, reminding me that he’s still holding me. Not that I forgot, but the strength in his grip, the power, takes my breath away for a second. “You saw that, huh?”
“Everyone saw.”
He hums. “Which was exactly my intention.”
“I don’t…” I frown. “Understand.”
He shakes his head once. “You don’t need to.”
That was strange. And maybe I shouldn’t be going down this road, but I know I won’t get another chance like this. Another chance to be this close to him, to ask him things. “Do you love her?”
He goes still. Or at least, it feels like that. The expression on his face freezes. His chest stops moving. Even his grip on me feels tight but immobile. It only lasts a second though, all of this.Like a hiccup in time. In a flash, he’s back to being all intense and staring. “What do you think?”
“You,”—I lick my lips—“proposed to her.”
He glances down at my mouth for a second. “There’s your answer then.”
I swallow; he’s right. Why else would he propose to her if he didn’t love her? That was a stupid question. So I ask a new one, a more important one. “Why her?”
He keeps his gaze steady. “The heart wants what it wants, doesn’t it?”
I swallow again, this time with difficulty because I know what he means. I know exactly, ingreat detail, what he means. Then, nodding, “I’m happy for you.”
“Are you?”
“Yes. You deserve it.”
His grip tightens then. “What do you know about what I deserve?”
“You deserve all the good things,” I say honestly, with all my heart. “All the happy things. It’s the least the universe can give you, right? After everything you and your family have endured. All the abuse, the tragedy. All the ways fate tried to break you. You didn’t though. You and your siblings didn’t break. In fact, you rose up from it. You came out on the other side and… I know it’s just a story for the world. A tale of woe and triumph but… You lived through it and I can’t evenimaginehow. All I know is I couldn’t have done it myself. No one could have. No one in this town or anywhere else.”
I can’t believe I said all that. I know I did it without thinking. I did it without provocation or any segue. But I’ve wanted to say this for a long time now. For years. Since the first night I snuck over to their house.
I wanted to say it because this is theexactreason why I haven’t told them the truth. I could’ve told Callie back in highschool. I could’ve told her any number of times over the last few years we’ve been friends. But I didn’t because I didn’t want to dredge up the past. They have built a life for themselves, a good life, a happy life. A life they all fought for. A life away from the monster their father is, and I can’t drag them back. They deserve to move on from him, from the past.
