He shakes his head, his hands on my waist gripping me so tightly. “I c-can’t… Don’t ever make me…”
I press my forehead to his and whisper, “I won’t. Not ever. I promise. Just… breathe, okay? Just breathe with me.” I coach him through it like I’ve done before. I tell him to breathe in and breathe out and we do it several times. He does calm down a bit but it’s still not enough and then it occurs to me. And I say, “I love you.”
His eyes snap open at this and I tell him again. “I love you so much, Shepard. And I will never ever leave you. Never.”
He stares at me a beat as if trying to ascertain the truth of my words before closing his eyes again and at last, breathing easy. His body going loose and his grip on me relaxing a bit. God, he’s crazy, my baby. Then, “You were really going to sit there for all of thirty minutes, weren’t you?”
He opens his eyes again, still as intense but no trace of agitation. “Yeah.”
“Without attempting to ruin it.”
“You told me not to.” Then, swallowing, “Although I would’ve liked to kick his fucking teeth in for calling you pretty yesterday.”
Biting my lip, I shake my head. “To prove to me that I’m safe with you.”
Something passes through his features. “Because I…” His grip on my waist flexes, his blood wetting the dress, seeping into my skin. “I didn’t before. I couldn’t. On so many levels. And I?—”
I press my forehead against his and cut him off. “You avenged me though.” He freezes and I continue, “Snow told me what you did.”
Along with telling me about the article that nearly killed me with embarrassment, she also told me what he did. How he went to our parents’ house and had them arrested. It was so strange to hear that. That cops came to the house and took my mother and his father away. Not in a million years would I have ever imagined something like that. My mother getting arrested. I don’t know what to feel about that. I know she said all those awful things about me in that article but… I guess, somewhere along the way I stopped hoping for a better relationship with her. Or maybe my new family showed me what a loving, supporting family looks like so I decided to simply move on.
Either way, Snow had no further information about it, about what happened or what he did. None of the girls did either.
As shocking as that was, my only concern at that point was about his career. He was already facing so much shit because of bad publicity and then something like this happened. I couldn’t help but think I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve protected him better, thought of my surrounding before pulling the kind of stunt I did. But as soon as Isadora pointed it out he loved me and I realized that myself, I stopped thinking.
In any case, I know he thinks the same thing. That he didn’t protect me either. I guess, we’re similar that way, aren’t we?
“Are you going to tell me how you got them arrested?” I ask then.
His response is to simply shake his head once.
I shiver. “Is it bad?”
He nods, again silently and staring into my eyes.
I bite my lip. “I’m so?—”
It’s his turn to press his forehead into mine. “It’s because I wanna keep you safe from all the ugliness of the world, the fucking monster my father is. You’ve already lived with that monster long enough. Just let me keep you safe.”
My mind is going a hundred different directions, all bad. But it doesn’t matter. Because I can see it’s important to him. And if I really wanted to know, I could piece it all together in my head because he’s right, I lived with his father. I know how low and disgusting that asshole’s mind can get. So I nod. “Okay.”
He breathes out in relief. “I broke my promise to you though.”
“What promise?”
He licks his lips. “I punched him.”
“Your dad?”
“Yeah.” Then, “I wasn’t going to. I promised you I wouldn’t but then I… I couldn’t control myself. I couldn’t… But it was only once. Mostly because that’s all it took to make him go down.”
I chuckle, thickly, sadly. “It’s okay. I forgive you. You did good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” I whisper, stroking his stubbled jaw with my thumb.
He breathes in deep before whispering, “I told him something though.”
