"Lavinia," David called her softly, stepping in. She had not even realized that he was in the room.
"I am tired, Papa," she said, her voice finally cracking. "I am so tired, especially of you. I am tired of being told what to do. I am tired of trying to be what everyone else expects me to be. I am tired of being a statue...of being something you can just pick up and place wherever you want. Like I don't have feelings."
She began to pace, annoyed all over again. "You have never understood me, not once! You and everyone else...telling me what to do, making decisions for me, as if I don't have a say in my own life!" Her voice wavered, but the anger surged forward. "You never understood how much pressure you've put on me. Not a day went by when I wasn't trying to please someone else, to meet someone else's expectations. To do what everyone wants so there will be peace. So everyone—besides me—will be happy. First you, then society, and now him." She gestured sharply toward the door, as if Andrew was right there the very room with them.
Her father's face reddened, but Lavinia didn't care. She had held it in for so long, and now that it was all spilling out, she was in no mood to mask it.
"You have always made me feel like a pawn," she continued, her chest rising and falling heavily. "When will you start treating melike your child? Did you even bother to ask me why I came back? I am what I am today because of you and I loathe it."
"Lavinia, how about we promenade?" David chimed in, clearly trying to shift the atmosphere. "You've been cooped up in here long enough. There's a festival in London today, and I thought it might cheer you up. The streets will be bustling, and there's music, dancing, and all sorts of merriment."
"I'm in no mood, David," she answered him.
"I insist," he said, stepping in front of her so she could turn to him. "Walk with me."
Reluctantly, she exhaled, her shoulders relaxing as she let go of the tension. She nodded and David began to lead the way, stopping by the door to make sure she was following him. She walked past him and made her way out of the estate with David following closely behind her. Once they were out on the street, she let out a small breath, her mind no longer consumed by the things she couldn't control.
She needed the cool air on her skin.
"It must be a big festival, there's so many people on the street," Lavinia noted, noticing how she had to tilt her body to get past.
"What did Andrew do?" David asked, now walking by her side. "What did he say to you? Something must have changed. Last time I saw you, it was clear that you had feelings for him. ButI wasn't quite sure how he truly felt about you. Did you confess your feelings to him?"
Lavinia glanced at him. "No," she answered plainly. Knowing her brother, he was not one to drop a conversation once he had started it. So, it was no use telling him to change the subject.
"Tell me what happened," he said to her. "What has caused you to look this miserable?"
"Did you know?" she asked and stopped walking. They moved to the corner of the road, away from the busy street. "Did you know why Andrew married me? The true reason."
David lowered his head and then slowly nodded. "Robert would have smeared your name if he did not. Andrew did a good thing. Now, everyone knows about Robert's games and he is practically shunned by theton."
"Did you also know the promise Andrew made to his father?" she asked and crossed her arms. "Did you know that too?"
Andrew arched his eyebrows. "Promise? What promise?"
Lavinia inhaled sharply. "Andrew does not want to continue his family name, David. He wants the Haskett lineage to end with him. He made that promise to his father and he intends to uphold it."
"What?" David's lips parted slightly.
"He does not want a family with me, David," she added and sniffed. "He says that we can live as a married couple, but we will never have children."
David stayed silent for a moment, taking in her words. Finally, he sighed and shook his head. "How about you concentrate on the bright side?"
"The bright side?" she asked.
"I know that this isn't what you expected, and it's not what you deserve." He paused. "But it is not such a bad situation. At least, given the alternative. What would have happened if you had been sent to live with our aunt in the countryside, with no one to care about your future? You would have been sentenced to a life of loneliness.”
Lavinia's chest tightened, her eyes welling up again. She didn't need him to remind her of that. "So, I should be thankful? I am overreacting, and I should just...take it?"
David's voice softened. "I know it's terrible, Lavinia. Life isn't fair. But at least...you're not a spinster. You're married. You have someone who cares for you. Even if it's not the fairy tale you dreamed of."
"So, what do I do when a year goes by and I do not provide an heir?" she questioned. "The world will think I'm...less. A failure. No one would look to him for a fault." She paused and let out a bitter chuckle. "There are already people who think I do not deserve to be his duchess. The scrutiny would swallow me whole.I couldn't take the talks before about me being a spinster. Do you truly think I would be able to handle accusations that I am a barren woman who is bent on ruining the Haskett legacy?"
"Lavinia, I know it's terrible," he began. "But what can you do? You cannot control how others see you. You can only control who you are and find happiness in it."
"Ihaveto control it, David. Ineedto. Without children, I'll be nothing. A barren woman, an object of pity. No one will take me seriously. No one will see me for anything but a failure. That is much scarier than being a spinster living a lonely life."
David's brow furrowed in concern as he stepped closer to her. "That's not true. No one should define your worth like that. You are more than just the ability to bear children."
