‘You’re not jealous of his happiness, you’re just wanting a little slice of your own. That doesn’t make you a terrible human being, it just makes you human.’ A memory passed briefly over his face and I bit my cheek as I remembered Luca’s own happily never after.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to dredge up the past.’
‘Don’t be.’ Luca shrugged, the steady rhythm of his paintbrush unwavering. ‘The past is what makes us who we are. But to quote my Dadaji .?.?.’ He cleared his throat, putting on a deep, authoritative voice with an accent stronger than his own. ‘If you let the past define your present, you quickly lose any hope of a future.’
My roller stopped. His words, despite their theatrical delivery, caused something to shift inside of me, my throat suddenly thick like cotton wool.
‘He sounds like a wise man. Clearly the apple fellveryfar from the tree.’ I bumped my hip bone lightly against his shoulder, feeling some inexplicable need to navigate us safely back to our normal, light-hearted dynamic.
‘If I can even be half the man he is, I’ll be happy.’
‘Who’s to say you’re not already there?’
Luca lowered his paintbrush, his eyes big and round as they searched my face. He blinked fast once, twice, three times, before his mouth stretched into a crooked smile.
‘And who’s to say the wedding won’t be fun?’
I look at him flatly. ‘Being a single guy in your thirties at a wedding is fun. Being a single woman in your thirties at a wedding is like being one of those abandoned puppies in acardboard box by the side of the road, everyone throwing you pitying looks as they walk past, keeping a wide berth in case finding yourself unexpectedly single and alone in your thirties is somehow catching.’
Luca chuckled. ‘Well, there’s your answer, then. Don’t go alone.’
‘Right,’ I scoffed, as if he’d just suggested I turn up stark naked. His eyes widened as if to saywhy not?‘Alice is working and even though Jacob said we could go together, I already know he’s going to bring a date and then I’ll be the awkward third wheel.’
There was a short pause, nothing but the squelch of my roller filling the silence.
‘I could always go with you, if you like.’
I dropped my roller. It landed with a dull splat on the dust sheet below, showering Luca’s hair with a fresh sprinkling of yellow.
‘Shit!’ I dropped to the ground, dabbing at the mess with a wet cloth. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean – it just slipped out of my hand.’
‘I’ll pretend I believe you.’ Luca grinned, wiping at his face with the cuff of his sleeve and leaving a pale-yellow smear just below his temple. ‘So?’ I could feel him seeking my gaze, dipping his head to try and catch my eye. I feigned ignorance, buying myself a few precious seconds.
‘So, what?’
Luca’s head tilted to one side, his broad chest rising with a deep breath. ‘So, what do you say we go together? You know, as friends,’ he added quickly.
‘Oh, you don’t have to do that.’
‘I know,’ he said simply. ‘But I want to. If that’s what you want, that is?’
I reached for my roller, suddenly wanting something to do with my hands.
‘OK.’ I blinked, surprised by the speed and ease in which the word tumbled out of my mouth, ready and waiting on the tip of my tongue.
‘OK.’ Luca nodded, turning back to his skirting board. I watched his right cheek hitch slightly, both eyes closing for a split second as he performed a mini fist pump, and wondered what it all meant. If he could feel it too. This fizzing sense of anticipation brewing in the pit of my stomach.
‘That’s me, folks. I need to get back and relieve the sitter.’ Terry’s voice made me jump, his heavy-soled boots unpausing as they clomped towards the exit. I looked around the empty hall and realised everyone else must have already left, my watch confirming it was well past 9 p.m.
‘Thanks again, Terry, I owe you one,’ Luca called, raising a hand in the air. Terry gave a two-fingered salute before disappearing into the night air. The echo of the door swinging closed suddenly made me very conscious that Luca and I were alone. I caught him looking at me, those big, gold-rimmed eyes trained unashamedly on my face, warm and curious in a way that triggered that flip-flop sensation in my belly.
‘What?’
‘You’ve got a little something—’
‘Oh.’ I wiped blindly at where he was pointing, my fingers coming away clean every time. ‘Did I get it?’
Luca smiled. ‘Not quite.’ He took a step forward, closing the distance between us entirely. I breathed out unevenly, watching his chest rising and falling faster than normal. ‘It’s just – there.’
