‘Jenny, you’re missing the show.’ Harry’s mum winked at me as I turned to leave, fanning her face with one hand as the other women descended into another fit of girlish giggles. I glanced innocently over at the piano, as if noticing it for the first time. Luca was still staring at me. I felt a bead of sweat prickling between my shoulder blades.
‘All yours, ladies.’ I smiled politely, the weight of Luca’s gaze warming the nape of my neck as I hurried towards the exit.
10
‘How long do you think I have to stay?’
‘Jenny, you’ve only been there for like, 30 minutes,’ Alice laughed, letting out a big,I’m six hours into a night shiftsigh as I watched her fall backwards onto one of the on-call hospital beds.
‘36 minutes, actually,’ I said petulantly, batting my necklace – a Temu shot glass made from cheap plastic – over one shoulder. ‘And in that time, I’ve already been scarred for life from pinning the penis on a horrifyingly life-sized cardboard cutout of my brother, and having to put up with Alyssa’s annoying friend Kristina with a K who’s been married three times and was shocked to hear I was 30 and –God forbid– single. She keeps looking at me like I’m a frickin’ rainbow-pooping unicorn or something.’
‘You’re not thinking about doing a runner just so you can go home and see you-know-who, are you?’ Alice was suddenly sitting bolt upright on the bed, scrutinising me intently through the phone. I forced my mouth into a smile.
‘Of course not,’ I lied. But the truth was, I would much rather be home with Joe right now than spending the night playing Mr & Mrs with my brother’s fiancée and her mums-gone-wild group of girlfriends. ‘And you can say Joe’s name, Alice. He’s not bloody he-who-must-not-be-named!’
I jumped as a pair of black peep toe stilettoes appeared at the bottom of my bathroom stall, that instant flash of panic as thedoor rattled against the flimsy catch and I imagined someone barging in on me on the toilet. Not that there was anything to see. I was fully clothed, phone balanced precariously atop the toilet roll dispenser as I perched just as gingerly on the closed toilet lid, trying to touch as little as possible. Then again, the fact that I was a grown-ass woman hiding in the disabled loo was arguably more embarrassing than being caught with my knickers round my ankles.
‘Occupied!’ I yelled.
Black Stilettoes tottered unsteadily to the next stall, the shared wall between us rattling when she slammed the door shut with the excessive force of someone who was already five tequila shots in. A stray tampon and an XL wide-fit foil Durex packet –wishful thinking sweetheart– skidded across the floor into my stall as her handbag fell to the floor. Well, at least she was prepared for every eventuality.
‘Excuse me, I did not spend the best part of two hours making you look socially acceptable only for you to hide in the bathroom all night,’ Jacob said sternly, wagging his finger at the camera. I tugged at the hem of the black skin-tight dress Jacob had insisted I wear, after declaring everything else in my wardrobe eithertoo bleurghorso 2012. It was short. As in, I had to be careful I didn’t flash everyone my nude M&S control pants when I sat down, short.
‘What the fuck are those?’ Jacob had cried earlier that evening while I was getting ready, his face contorting with disgust at the reams of elasticated material.
‘These are a necessity. They keep everything in,’ I’d explained breathlessly, mid-way through the five-minute body-wiggling battle to get them on. I won. Just.
‘Keep everyone out more like,’ I’d heard Jacob mutter.
I caught sight of my reflection in the tiny square in the bottom right-hand corner of my phone, blinking twice just to check itwas really me. My hair hung in soft, delicate waves around my face, courtesy of Jacob and his GHDs. Smoky eyeshadow and lashes that were not my own made my eyes look wide and awake for once, my cheeks a healthy rosy colour, my lips a bold, seductive red. Alice’s left eyeball filled her half of the screen as she moved the phone closer. She let out a low whistle. ‘Damn, Jacob, I don’t know how you did it, but Jenny, you look hot.’
‘Hey!’
‘Alice is right, I’m a bloody miracle worker,’ Jacob declared, ignoring my half-hearted protest. ‘Now get out there and show off the fruits of my labour.’
‘Yeah, go have some fun. One of us should.’ Alice yawned, closing her eyes.
‘Fine,’ I grumbled, with the reluctance of someone who’d just been told to walk over hot coals. Which, at this stage, would have been preferable. I jabbed my finger against the screen to end the call, only for my phone to fall to the ground with a loud clatter. I leaned down to retrieve it, trying to remember if I had any wet wipes in my bag.
‘They’re right, you know.’
My cheeks stretched into a smile. I couldn’t help it. It was a natural reaction. Like ice melting in the afternoon sun.
‘Youshouldbe having fun,’ Joe reprimanded, looking down at me from where he was leaning against the bathroom door, one Chelsea boot resting casually against the wall.
‘I am having fun.’
‘Oh sure, life and soul of the party in here.’
I rolled my eyes at him, sticking my bottom lip out like a child.
‘Do you remember that night we ended up in that secret bar in the Lanes?’
I smiled. Of course, I remembered. We’d only popped into the tiny, unassuming Italian delicatessen to grab some picky bits fordinner. But when I asked the silver-haired, olive-skinned man behind the counter if he had any Coppa di Parma, he’d smiled knowingly and beckoned us towards the back with a wave of his hand. The next thing we knew, he’d opened what, from the outside, appeared to be your standard, if a little outdated, fridge door – but instead of cured meats and cheeses, we were met with a long corridor, flashing lights and the rich, mellow sound of a live saxophone blasting from the other end.
‘How could I forget?’
‘Well, considering the number of Negronis we drank that night, you’d be forgiven if you had.’
