“Maybe. But even if he isn’t planning to weasel credit for our work—and that’s still an open question—could he really expect anything else at this stage?” Erin tossed up her hands. “How?Research is a journey. We’re just starting out. Co-pilots. Which means that we’re both responsible for the route. The playlist. The snacks. The result.The story. There’ll be side trips and backtracking, but we’ll still be going somewhere, even if it’s not a perfect line.Perfect is the enemy of good. So don’t you dare take any of the blame or success away from me, or I’ll make your life hell as a backseat driver.”
Could she be right?
Again?
Maybe, but…
“Dr. Kramer will retaliate. For today. Because—”
“—I was insubordinate? Or because I spoke the truth?”
“Yes. Both.”
“Ethan…” She laughed. She actually laughed. “I’m used to men trying to retaliate against me for being right when they’re not. Or for even just executing my job well. It comes with the territory of being a woman in STEM. So, sure—let him try. Let him see what happens. My brothers never allowed me to win at family game nights or baseball. I could handle their bullshit, and I’ll handle his.”
Let him see what happens.
“You believe that.”
Obviously, she did.
She didn’t doubt herself, all confidence and determination, even after braving Dr. Kramer’s wrath. After incurring it. Demanding it?And he didn’t want to wonder, but—what would the past three years have been like if they hadn’t been rivals? If they’d been neutral colleagues? If she’d even taken his part of an argument on occasion, collaborators instead of adversaries? If fierce, bright, relentless Erin had stood at his side, head high, eyes flashing, her hand in his, an ally, a friend, a lover—
—no.
He wanted her, yes—had wanted her for so long, longer than he’d known—and maybe she even wanted him, sitting in the twilight with dust motes scattering a prismatic glitter on her glasses, waiting for him to stabilize… waitingwithhim.
But the fact remained: Dr. Kramer would retaliate.
A second fact, almost worse:thiswas what happened when he surrendered discipline, when he let emotion guide him instead of logic.
A third fact: he needed to regain control. Of himself. Of the situation.
A fourth: if he stood any chance of mitigating her danger, he had work to do.
Today.
“Uh, I… it’s late. I should…” Clearing duff and gravel from his throat now, he gestured toward the parking lot with a hand that was almost steady. “Thank you for… but Bunsen needs his run, and I…”
“Right, of course.” She accepted his decision to be finished, to be alone.So easy. She brushed a layer of needles from her jeans and stood. “We both know what happens if you keep him waiting.”
“Yes.”
He dumped their research into his messenger bag, then inched and stalled his way home to Redwood City through the smoggy crawl of a Peninsula commute. After he’d taken Bunsen around Stulsaft Park and eaten something cold in a Tupperware over the sink, he sat down at his desk. But he didn’t drag out his blueprints again. He didn’t drop back into laser angles and cable layouts, into data analysis or hypothesizing about the behavior of electrons at the event horizon of a black hole. He didn’t log into his SVLAC email. He didn’t even begin writing an apology to his supervisor: accept responsibility, then offer up a new research proposal—something,anythingto gain leniency. Or at least to avoid additional punishments. Heneededto write that apology; the headache compressing his skull synchronized with his own mental pressure inside it.Focus, focus!When he opened his computer, though, he didn’t start drafting excuses ormea culpas. Instead, he clicked into a new browser window.
Dr. John R. Kramer + quantum units
Search results loaded.
He began to read.
Her tires whistled over the pavement, bumping across lane dividers, zipping between cars stalled in traffic. Thinking hard, Erin pushed her legs and her bicycle harder.
Dr. John Kramer.
Despite their adjacent work with optics and lasers—Ethan had admitted that the holometer was based on technology like LIGO—the laws of physics had isolated her department’s research on general relativity from Kramer’s quantum mechanics projects.Until now. Nadine’s surprise that he’d deigned to revise and resubmit a rejected paper for publication had told her all she’d needed to know about him on her first day at SVLAC. While she hadn’t gone out of her way to avoid him, she’d never sought his colleagueship, either. She just hadn’t devoted any mental energy to the man. It wouldn’t have been worth it.
Now, though?
