She doesn’t put up a fight.
EIGHT
RILEY
My mind’s been cluttered and foggy all morning. Last night’s events play on a constant loop as I try to make heads or tails of what happened. First Julien. Then Zander. What the hell is going on with me? This isnotwho I am. I’m not some sex crazed girl who plays with multiple partners. I’m the girl who wouldn’t sleep with her ex because it felt like a betrayal. Or maybe because Troy wasn’t right, and deep down, I knew it. I shake my head, pushing thoughts of my ex-boyfriend down deep. He’s an asshole that didn’t deserve me, anyway.
Both men touched me last night, did dirty things to me, and I allowed them to. I didn’t even try to fight them. My mind screamed warnings about the awful idea, a cacophony of doubt, but my body? My body had full control and enjoyed every damn minute of it. Julien played me like a fiddle, and given the chance, I know I would have soaked Zander's face. That’s the part I’m struggling with. I wanted it. Their touches felt good, natural. Both of them were so different, but I craved each one with the same aching intensity.
Julien touched me like he hated me—like I’d affronted him. I’ll admit I shouldn’t have been snooping around his room. That one’s on me. But I need to know what makes him tick.I'll need every edge possible to make it here. And I’m smart enough to know my last name won’t help me. From the looks of it, Michael Whittier isn’t well-loved at Pointebreak. Being his daughter doesn’t mean shit. But the crazy thing is, Julien wanted me as bad as I wanted him. I know he did. The way his cock was hard against his jeans, pressing against me, told me everything I needed to know. Or maybe he’s crazy and has a sadistic kink. I was out of my mind in lust that I would have let him screw me. And I think that’s part of why I was angry when he pushed me away. That, and the edging he gave without letting me come.
I didn’t want him to stop.
Zander, though, he’s dark. He has demons inside that he didn’t want me to see. His rough playfulness sparked a newfound desire within me. I’ve never had anyone touch me or say things to me like he did.Never.Julien had already frustrated me by bringing me to the edge last night, and then, when Zander started talking about tossing me over his knee, I couldn’t stop myself from getting wet even if I tried. It was an offhand comment, but I saw the look in his eyes. He wanted that more than anything last night. And I did too. God, did I want that. And the small taste of his mouth on mine made every nerve ending in my body crackle with electricity. I almost wished he pulled me off the trail and finished what he started.
Which is why when I got safely back to my room, courtesy of Zander, who didn’t utter two words the rest of the walk, I touched myself and played until I came. Hard. I swear I blacked out for a moment. Fuck that arrogant asshole, Julien, and his rules about not touching. Like I would ever listen to him. In a sick way, though, I want to tell him that thoughts of Zander spanking me are ultimately what made me come. My ass cheeks clench at the memory, and a fresh pool of arousal floods my system.
Which brings me to my next problem. Ava. I don’t even know how to start this conversation with her. Do I tell her about it? Is it something she needs to know? Her brother almost ate me out in the woods against a tree. I can’t tell her that, but maybe that we had a moment? Ugh. This is all so complicated. I need to forget last night and get my head on straight. Now isn’t the time for daydreams.
Classes start in the morning, so Ava and I walked around campus again, finding all our classrooms. We only have two together, unfortunately. She told me she got to choose her classes ahead of time, so that means I really was a last-minute enrollment and they gave me leftovers. I hope next semester I can choose more business type classes versus fighting ones. I’ll never have a need for that in my day-to-day life. At least with business, I can do something worthwhile with it. Networking is definitely going to be a useful tool around here, and it seems a lot of students are from well-off families.
“Here’s the gym,” Ava says, directing my gaze to the enormous building with glass covering the front half of it. “Open twenty-four seven for all your workout needs.” She smiles and waves at someone inside. Last night Ava talked with everyone. I swear now even Nick is eating out of the palm of her hand. While I spent a little time enjoying the bonfire and mingling, I wish I had spent more time talking to people instead of snooping, as that ended my night early. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to get to know the others, but it seems like that is the event to cement yourself with a group.
“Yay,” I say as I circle my finger in the air in fake enthusiasm.
“Hey, I’ve heard those self-defense classes are hard. It might be worth it to at least come in here once in a while.”
“What’s the point of those, anyway? How is that relevant? It’s not like I’m going to need to know how to throat punch someone.” As soon as I say the words, an image of Julienholding me by the throat against the wall invades my mind. My face flames, not for the first time today, at the thought of him bringing me to the edge and not letting me finish. I’ve already had to make the excuse to Ava that it’s just hot outside. Not sure she’s buying it anymore. Ava already told me some of the defense classes are a mix of all years because it makes for better training. First years learn a lot more from those more experienced. She seems oddly excited about this. I haven’t been able to figure it out. Unless she’s hoping Nick is in one of her classes.
“It’s good to know, in case anything ever happens.” She shrugs, like it’s no big deal and a normal occurrence in her life.
I pull my brows together and watch her jerky movements. “Ava, what would happen that would make you want to learn that?”
Her laugh, sharp and strained, is a stark contrast to the easy laughter I've become accustomed to. This one is as if she’s trying to convince herself. “Oh, you know, just in case. Always best to be prepared. Weren’t you a Girl Scout?” She uses silly phrase again like it explains everything.
I place my hand on her arm and force her to turn and look at me. “Prepared for what, Ava?”
Her gaze darts around my face, looking everywhere but into my eyes. She licks her lips and her throat bobs as she swallows before taking a deep breath.
“You really don’t know any of the people that are here, do you?” Her voice is so low I have to strain to hear it.
The blood drains from my face and my stomach turns in knots as I slowly shake my head no at her. My mouth, suddenly dry, feels like it is packed with cotton. The familiar fuzzy feeling of a panic attack wedging its way forward, but I catch it before it can fully develop and focus on my breathing. Breathe in for four, hold, breathe out for four.
When I have a hold of myself, I say, “Who comes to this school, Ava? Whoareyou?”
She smiles sadly at me and takes my arm, looping it through hers, making me walk with her. “Not out here. No one needs to overhear us.”
We’re silent on the way back to the dorm, the rest of our exploration forgotten. I can’t help but look around at the other faces of students walking around us. Have I seen any of their parents in the news? I’m not stupid enough to think there aren’t some famous parents of kids here. Do any of them know who I am? A few students glance in our direction, and I swear some snicker at us as we walk by. Are they looking at me or Ava? I turn my head to watch her. Her face is blank as she leads me to the stone dorm building in front of us.
We finally make it to our room and stop suddenly as Nick leans against our door, looking down at his phone. He glances up at us and smiles warmly.
“Hey, Ava. Hi, Riley. Do you ladies want to go for a walk? I can show you my favorite spots on campus.”
Ava shakes her head first. “Sorry, we just got back from one. We were going to look through the class syllabus to see what we need for classes tomorrow. Maybe we can walk over to the dining room a little later for some food?”
His smile falters, but he nods his head in understanding. “Sure. You have my number. Text me later.”
Their words wash over me, indistinct and unimportant, as she pushes me into our room and locks the door behind us. I sit on the edge of my bed and look up at her, waiting. She’s silent, just gnaws on her bottom lip and wrings her fingers together.
