Page 17 of Enamored


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My heart sinks, and my good mood sours. I thought for sure they would be from Tristan. The moment I saw them sitting on Hillary’s desk, my heart almost beat out of my chest at the thought. I put the small card in my back pocket.

“Keep ‘em. They really brighten up the front.”

“You can’t be serious,” she scoffs. “Lana, what’s wrong?” Hillary comes around the desk and tilts her head, watching me.

My chin quivers, and I clamp my jaw shut, stopping the trembling. I shake my head and smile through my obvious pain. “Nothing. They’re too big for my cubicle, and I think they would look great here.”

She narrows her eyes but smiles. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

I nod and hurry back to my desk. I open my laptop and email the designs to Eloise with a note letting her know I’m not feeling well and will finish out the day at home. I all but run past Hillary and Dustin as the two of them talk, most likely about me.

I take the elevator down to the parking garage, and when I get into my car, I sit there for a few minutes, trying to regain my composure. My phone lights up with a new message from Holden.

Holden:Wanted to make sure you made it back safe. It was good seeing you. Hopefully, we will see each other again soon. What’s your home address? I want to send you something.

Me:Sorry, yes, I made it safe. You don’t have to send me anything.

Holden:Please?

I roll my eyes and type my address to him. What is it that he could possibly want to send me? I just want to go home. I’m exhausted and ready to crash, even though it’s only three in the afternoon.Must be the mountain air.I put my car in drive and decide to stop at the store for some groceries before I head home.

You know what stinks about living in a second-floor apartment in the city? Trying to lug grocery bags up them. I bought a little more than I intended to, and now, the stupid plastic bags are cutting off circulation to my fingers, making them turn an ugly shade of blue. I step onto the landing and take a deep breath.I really need to get back into the gym.

I push open the hallway door and freeze in place, my mouth hanging open, the bags slipping from my grasp. I hear the glass clink on the hard floor and wince, hoping I didn’t break the bottles of wine. He smirks at me and stands to his full height, a bouquet of flowers held securely in his grasp. He looks tired. His hair is disheveled, and he runs his fingers through the chestnut locks, messing them up even more.

“W-what are you doing here?” My eyes must be messing with me. I’m dreaming or something. He takes a step closer and extends the flowers in front of him. They’re beautiful, and my favorite—lilies. The flowers are in various shades of pink and white, and my heart melts.

“I’m so sorry, Lana. I fucked it all up, and I’m so damn sorry.” He stops in front of me, hands me the flowers, and bends to pick up all the bags. “Can we talk? Let me say what I have to, and then, if you don’t want me, I’ll leave you alone.”

How can I say no to that? He flew across the country to talk to me—to apologize. That takes some guts. I nod and fish the keys out of my bag to unlock the door. My hands shake, and it takes me two tries before I get the key in the lock. We walk through, and he drops the bags off in the kitchen as I find a vase to put the flowers in.

“Can I get you something to drink?” I call over my shoulder.

“No, I’m good.”

“Wait for me in the living room. I need to get these groceries put away.”

He doesn’t argue, and after a few minutes, I join him. I sit in the chair next to him, not trusting myself to sit on the loveseat with him.

“Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.”

“You’re welcome.” He leans forward, places his forearms on his knees, and pushes out a deep breath, his eyes focused on the ground between his feet. He looks up at me, and I can see how he feels deep within his eyes. I see the sadness, the hurt, the fear all swirling around like a brewing storm.

“I was a fucking idiot.”Well, I’m not going to deny that fact.“I didn’t know you were going to be the one who showed up, and I sure as hell didn’t handle it well. Then, I heard you talking to Holden yesterday morning, talking about how you needed to forget the past and start over.” I open my mouth to speak, and he holds his hand up. “I know, you were referring to Russ. Holden told me when he ripped me a new asshole this morning for not being there to say goodbye.”

He reaches out, stroking the side of my jean-clad leg gently. “I thought you were talking about me and having to forget about me. I didn’t get the chance to tell you how sorry I am for everything. For all those years ago, for everything that happened at the ranch, and for breaking my promises. I never meant to hurt you.”

I stand, moving out of his reach. My mind is swimming with questions I don’t even know how to begin to ask.

“I need a glass of wine.” I walk into the kitchen, leaving him alone again, and take my phone with me. I pour a healthy glass of my new red wine and gulp half of it down before refilling the glass.

Me:Is my present tall, dark, and handsome?

My phone buzzes moments later with a reply.

Holden:No, I’m not there. LOL! Kidding.Listen to what he has to say and keep an open mind.

I take my glass of wine back into the living room. He’s sitting there, so deflated. He scrubs his hands down his face and slumps over, his elbows resting on his knees. I don’t want to be mad at him. I’ve spent too many years mad at him. Hell, if I’m being honest, I want to sit in his lap and smother him in kisses, demand he make up for lost time.