We watch the couples around us and jump in somewhere in the middle. I miss a few of the steps and laugh when I try and almost fall over. I’m just not meant to be a dancer. Russ puts his hands on my hips as he kicks his leg out behind me, keeping up with everyone around us.
Even though I want to avoid him and Idefinitelydon’t want to talk to Tristan, my eyes seem to seek him out at every turn. It’s like I’m being drawn to him, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop. His eyes bore into mine every time I meet his gaze. It’s like he’s beckoning me to him, and my body wants to go. My heart, on the other hand, wants nothing to do with the cheater.
My smile is wide, clapping as the band finishes their song. “Russ, I’m a bit tired. Can we get a drink, maybe sit for a few?”
He takes my hand in his, but the band starts playing a slow song. “One more dance?” He pleads with his eyes and holds his hand up, his index finger raised up. “Please?”
I roll my eyes, but I can’t help but smile and nod. He pulls me into his arms, and I lay my head on his shoulder. I close my eyes, not wanting to see how this is affecting Tristan. We move in a slow circle, listening to the twang of the guitar and the husky crooning of the lead singer.
“Mind if I cut in?” Tristan asks. I lift my head and lock eyes with him.
Russ looks to me, and I keep my eyes trained on Tristan. “Yes, I mind. I’m trying to enjoy my evening. Why don’t you run along to Kasey? I’m sure she’d be happy to dance with you.”
“Kasey left after we talked and cleared the air. Please, Lana. I’m asking for a chance to explain.”
The tears start to form again, and I look at the sky, trying to stop them. “I don’t want to talk to you. Please, leave me alone.” I grab Russ’s hand and lead him away. Holden walks up to Tristan and clasps his hand on his shoulder, stopping him from running after me.
“Russ, can you walk me back to my cabin?”
* * *
Friday. The last day I’m here. I wish it were Saturday already. I could be home and forget all of this happened. Russ walked me back to the cabin last night after I said I wasn’t feeling well, and Tristan wasn’t far behind. He must have hidden behind a tree or something because, once Russ left, he started calling for me. When I didn’t answer him, he resorted to sending me phone messages. Joke’s on him though. I blocked his ass after the first five came through.
I imagine this is what being hungover feels like. I’ve never tried alcohol, but my mouth feels like it’s full of cotton, my head is throbbing, and my eyelids feel heavy. The light rasp of knuckles on my door makes me groan, but I tell the person on the other side to come in.
“Hey, honey. You feeling okay? It’s ten. You’re not usually in bed this late.” Mom sits on the edge of my bed and puts her wrist to my forehead, feeling my temperature.
“I’ve been better.” I sit up and pull my knees to my chest. “Mom, have you ever had a broken heart?” I lay my cheek on my knee as I wait for her to respond.
“Oh, sweetie.” She wraps her arms around me and kisses the top of my head. “Yes. And it’s not fun. Want to tell me what happened?”
I give her the cliff notes version. She listens quietly as I tell her my story and how, in two weeks, I’ve fallen head over heels for this guy. When I finish and she hands me a tissue to wipe my tears, she kisses my cheek and tells me about her first heartbreak. She tells me about Ronnie, and from the far-off look in her eyes, I can tell that not all memories with him were that bad.
“Did you love him?” I ask when she finishes.
“Yes, very much, but we weren’t meant to be together. We both had so much growing up we needed to do. I was lucky. I went to college and met your father. I’ve seen Ronnie a few times over the years. He has a lovely wife and two kids.”
“Are you still mad at him?”
“For breaking my heart?” she asks, surprised. I nod, and her smile grows. “No. I had to experience heartache so I could know what true love was. You can’t have all pleasure and no pain; it’s not balanced.”
I feel a little better after our talk, and I give her a hug and a kiss. She stops at the door and turns to look at me. “Give him a chance to explain. It might make you feel better.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to.”
She shrugs. “Well, that’s entirely up to you, but I can tell from watching the both of you that he’s just as upset about this as you are. He really likes you, Lana.” She says her piece and then she’s gone, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I’m not ready to see Tristan, but I think she’s right. I leave tomorrow. The opportunities to explain are running out, and I don’t want to leave wondering what if. I get dressed and head out for the house. I see Liz putting food away, and she gives me a warm smile when she sees me.
“Good morning, Lana. I’m putting breakfast away. Do you want something to eat?”
I’m not hungry, but I know I should eat something. I take a banana out of a bowl and split the peel open. “Is Tristan around?”
“No, he took off riding this morning.” Holden’s voice comes from behind me, and I spin to face him.
“I’ll leave you two to talk.” Liz gathers the rest of the stuff and leaves the two of us.
“Holden, where is he?” I don’t bother to hide the pleading in my voice.
