I take a deep breath. It’s time to have some fun instead of worrying about everything. “Teach me the ways of the force, Obi Wan.”
He walks me back to the house before going home for the night, but he leaves me with this final piece of advice. “Play the game, but don’t get caught up in the rules.” That’s what I intend to do this summer.
Watch out, Lana Robinson. I’m coming for you.
Chapter 13
Lana
Unlike yesterday, Tristan and Holden are nowhere to be found today. Mom and Dad had a cupcake waiting for me in the room this morning and told me happy birthday. Since they promised not to make a big deal out of it here, they let me go on my own. I’ve spent the better part of the day reading, but now I’m sitting by the pond with Molly. I need someone to talk to, and she’s the best I have since I have no cell service.
To start, I am curious about her and Holden hooking up. I would be lying if I didn’t want to know about it. “Can I ask you about Holden?” I splash some water with my toes, avoiding her gaze.
“What do you want to know?” she asks, a smile stretching her lips.
My face is bright red now. I can read about sex stuff, no problem. Why is it so hard to say out loud? “Well, Tristan and I were walking by the barn yesterday and heard you two. Then again last night. Is he, was he your first, or have you done that before?”
Molly and I are about the same age. I know I don’t have a lot of experience, and it’s possible she does, but I don’t know. She looks like the kind of girl who hangs out with all the cool kids—the one who has boys throwing themselves at her feet to gain her attention. Her confidence is intimidating at times.
“Yup. I’m pissed at my parents for dragging me out here, and he’s hot. Never thought my first would be a cowboy.” She kicks some water up, and it lands on my thigh.
I wipe it off my skin and furrow my brow. “Wait, so because you’re pissed off at your parents, you gave up your V-card?”
She shrugs like she just told me the weather, not that she gave up her virginity. “Yeah, they have a strict rule with me not dating unless they have approved the guy. Here, since there are so many activities to do, they can’t keep an eye on me. You’re helping, too, you know. My dad trusts you, and your dad already talked you up. If I tell them I’m hanging with you, he’s cool with it.”
I don’t know if I should be hurt that she’s using me, or applaud her for finding a way around her parents’ rules. I nod, not really knowing what else to say to her.I really hope this doesn’t come around to bite me in the ass.
“He’s really good at it, too,” she continues. “I mean, I’ve never had anyone else, but I’ve given a blow job before, and he’s the biggest I’ve ever had.”
She keeps talking about Holden and his ‘massive size’. I’ve never done any of that. The most I’ve done is some heavy petting, and that was just this week! I’ve only kissed Joe, and this boy Kyle when I was in fourth grade. He ran up to me on the playground, grabbed my arms, and planted a wet kiss on my lips. I was horrified and pushed him away.
“Hello, earth to Lana?” Her voice cuts through my thoughts.
“Huh? What?” I smile shyly at her.
“I asked if you’ve done anything with Tristan yet? He’s really the one I wanted to get to know, but he gave me the brush off.”
“We’ve only kissed.” I’m embarrassed to tell her, but once again, she’s all I’ve got. “I’ve never done more than kissing and a little dry humping with a guy.”
“Do you want to do more with him?”
Yes. I really do. I made up my mind last night while watching the stars with him. I yearned for him to do something—anything.But he was a perfect gentleman. We kissed a bit. I wished really hard on a star that he’d drag me back to the blanket and show me how good he can make me feel. Let me figure out how loud I can be.
None of that happened. We kissed, and just as I finally got the courage to ask him for more, his phone buzzed, and we all packed up our stuff to get back. Turns out, my dad was getting worried because it was so late and all of us were out there. So, really, I can thank my dad for cock-blocking me.
“Yeah, I do. I really like him.” I hug my knees to my chest and smile as I picture his handsome face.
“No.” I purse my lips and look at her, confused. “That’s how you end up the crazy girl he slept with. No feelings. Shut that shit down. It’s about the two of you feeling good. Make it a chemical release only.”
I’m appalled. “I can’t just shut my emotions down like that. How can you sleep with someone and not have feelings for them?”
She shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Okay, listen. Even if you do have feelings, donotlet him know that. If you tell him you want sex, no strings attached, I’m sure he’ll jump at the chance. I’ve seen how he looks at you.”
That catches my attention, and I perk up. “Oh yeah? How does he look at me?”
“Like he wants to rip your clothes off and take you the moment he sees you.” She giggles. “It’s actually really hot.”
No, he doesn’t.But haven’t I had that same fantasy a few times today? I’ve started another book, and when I got to their first sex scene, I pictured Tristan and me. I could barely keep a straight face and squirmed the whole time as I read the scene. The need was so strong I almost went back to the cabin for a quick session, but Mom and Dad have been lurking around today.
