“Okay,” I say as I try my best to school my features. “What are you getting at?” I prompt.
“I was nervous because of me… and my past. I’ve never had so much on the line as I’m feeling with you. When I’ve been with other guys… it was… well, different.”
“Different how?”
Abby lets out a long breath I didn’t realize she’d been holding and looks back to our hands for a moment. Then takes a deep breath as if she’s fortifying herself. She straightens her spine and looks me directly in the eyes. “I didn’t have as much to lose with them. I knew they were short-term relationships. I knew things were casual. But with you…” She trails off and glances to the ocean. Suddenly, I’m a bundle of nerves.
I reach out and tenderly lift her chin to force her eyes to meet mine. “With me, what, Angel?” The way her eyes hold mine and raw emotion flows, I feel as if I’m standing on the edge of an airplane ready to take a leap into the great unknown. God. I hope she’s about to say what I’ve been feeling all along.
“With you…” she whispers. “I have so much more to lose.”
Shaking my head, I need to put her fears at bay. “You’re not out on this ledge alone, Angel. I’m right there with you. If you’re not ready to do anything more than what we’re doing—I’m completely fine with that. I invited you here this weekend simply to spend time with you. I havezeroexpectations. So, please don’t feel any pressure. There are plenty of beds, though I’d never kick you out of mine.” I smile to let her know I’m joking. “I’d never expect you to sleep there either.”
She sighs heavily. “I know…”
“Abby. I really like you. I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll let you take the lead as far as where things go. In the meantime, let’s just enjoy this beautiful sunset together.”
She reaches to my face and pulls me in for a quick kiss. I feel it from my head to my toes. There’s nothing more that I want more than to wake up with her in my arms. But there’s no way I will pressure her into anything either.
OceanofPDF.com
25
Abby
Ohmigod!I am such an idiot. I was simply trying to tell Drew I’m really into him, and now he thinks I want to put the brakes on things. Gah. I’m such a blubbering nitwit. Why oh why couldn’t I have just told him I’m falling for him and that the reason I’m afraid is because I’ve never slept with anyone I’ve had feelings like this for? Hell. I think I’m on my way to loving him, and I’ve just squelched any chance I have of showing him what he means to me.
Holy shit. Did I just saylovehim?
Yes—I did. I mean—I do. I’ve never felt this way for anyone else. I’ve never given myself the opportunity. Fuck. What should I do now?
Before the sun fully sets, Drew and I walk back hand in hand to his vehicle. It was comfortable but made me feel a little let down. I want to take things further, but how do I let him know—after basically putting my foot in my mouth by stopping it and making things come to a screeching halt.
Since we drove so far down the beach, it doesn’t take long to return to the cabin. When we get inside, Drew gets to work on fixing dinner. Well, he pulls a lasagna out of the fridge, pulls a Caesar salad from a bag, and places the loaf of garlic bread on the counter, for when it’s ready to go into the oven. He tosses the salad but waits to add the dressing and croutons. I’m a huge pasta fan, so I’m eager for this meal.
When he sets the salad back in the fridge and the lasagna in the oven, he lets me know we still have about an hour before it’s ready. He asks if I’d mind if he takes a shower; our little roll in the sand made him feel a bit grimy. I tell him I’ll do the same when he gets out.
My mouth waters at the sight of Drew when he returns to the living area. He’s got a pair of basketball shorts on and is just pulling his shirt over his head, giving me the best view imaginable. I try not to stare like the complete dork I am, but, God, is it difficult. If I thought I wanted to take things further before—I without a doubt do now. Holy hell, he turns me into a pile of goo just looking at him. I swear I’ve only seen the likes of him on photoshopped pages of magazines.
Drew pulls me out of my fantasy. “Everything okay, Angel?”
“Uh… Yeah.” Just had to unstick my tongue from the roof of my mouth. Thank you very much… but don’t mind me. Can you lift your shirt up again?
“Did you get too much sun today? You… uh… look a little flushed,” Drew questions as he closes the distance between us. He stops right in front of me and brushes his palm along my cheek. “You feel a little warm. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Seriously? This is my life?
How can I tell him I’ve only got the hots for him and not sound like a nymphomaniac? “Nope,” I blurt out. “I’m all good. I think I’ll just go hop in that shower now.” And take a very cold shower—at that.
I bolt from the room like my ass is on fire, so I can avoid any future embarrassment. I grab my things from the spare bedroom and make my way to the hall bathroom. Just as I’m about to step foot inside, Drew calls out, “If you want to take a bath, there’s a jacuzzi tub in the main bathroom. We have plenty of time before dinner.”
Cold shower or warm jacuzzi tub? Decisions… decisions. I must hesitate a moment too long because he assures me, “The tub also is attached to the shower, so you’re welcome to use both. I’ve left my shampoo and conditioner in there, should you need it.”
Well, that makes my decision easy. I can do both.
“Thanks,” I say as I duck into the master bedroom on the other side of the hall.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. The room smells entirely of Drew. My senses are already on hyperdrive and having his masculine scent completely envelop me is practically torture. I want nothing more than to march back out there and drag him back in here with me. Maybe I should just do something to take the edge off, so I won’t be so hormone driven?
