Chapter Twenty-Eight
Lily hadn’t gone home last night. She hadn’t wanted to be alone, nor had she felt in any condition to drive back the long way around. But she did have to work this morning, and after the spectacular scene she pulled yesterday, she knew that both Willy and Lucy would be worried and looking for an update. The thought of pasting on a fake smile though… Could she even do it? She had always thought heartbreak was a state of mind, not this crushing feeling literally around her heart. And what if Christian came in for his maple syrup fix? How would she face him and not completely collapse? Calling out sick sounded better and better.
And then there was the plan that she was supposed to put into motion tonight at the support session. How was she going to manage to stand up in front of all those curious eyes and tell her story? It was all too much – the pressure, the fear, the loss – and her cat was practically shredding her insides in a need to be free. But of course, there was nothing she could do about that as long as there was a possibility of eyes watching her every move. Unfortunately, that thought only made the clawing need that much worse.
Desperate, Lily closed herself in Mrs. Potter’s guest room, shut the blinds and drew the curtains tightly closed in case someone even now was watching, stripped off her clothes and shifted to fur. Her muscles immediately eased. Granted, in the small space she felt a bit caged, unable to run, but it was still a relief.
She’d later blame the scramble her brain had become for not sensing Mrs. Potter at the door before that door was opened and the woman got an up close and personal look at a Florida Panther in living color.
It was one thing to know that shifters exist, another all together to come face to face with a predator in your own home. Mrs. Potter stumbled back with a gasp, her hand clutching at her throat and fear in those normally twinkling blue eyes.
Still not thinking straight, Lily reacted to that fear with a screeching cry of worry that probably only scared the woman more. She couldn’t handle it if Mrs. Potter turned away from her in fear. She had already lost too much… Forcing herself to keep still rather than approaching, she watched the woman with sharp eyes while fear of rejection made her skin prickle under her fur.
Mrs. Potter stared at her for several hard beats of both their hearts. Then those eyes cleared of the fear, curiosity and admiration taking its place. “Magnificent,” Mrs. Potter breathed, and Lily wanted to cry with relief.
Not wanting to scare the woman any more than she already had, Lily took a careful step forward, at the same time, Mrs. Potter extended a hand. It was all the encouragement Lily needed. Closing the distance, she pushed her head under that warm, soft hand and released a rumbling purr.
Mrs. Potter chuckled with delight. “Oh, dear” she gasped stroking her hand over the soft fur of Lily’s back. Her joyous laughter grew louder, “Oh, dear, oh, dear.”
Lily hadn’t realized how badly her bruised heart had needed this. The physical connection, the love, the acceptance without fear. It reminded her of something that she had somehow forgotten in her pain: that she had friends, within the pack as well as outside the borders of Malsum Pass. People willing to offer their help. She was strong within her own right, but she wasn’t alone, and was made stronger still with the support of these people. She’d get through this. She could rise above and do her job with a smile, she could clear her name, and she could face any obstacle that was yet to be thrown her way because she had a life to live with beautiful people at her side. And what a waste it would be to not live this new life she had been given to its fullest. And part of that living? Well, it wouldn’t be complete without an aggravating bear who loved her, now would it?
Unfortunately, Lily didn’t have time to talk to Christian before work, her unplanned shift to fur already making her late, and Christian, whether he was avoiding her or sleeping in this morning, didn’t come in for his usual breakfast. After work, she needed to drive straight to the church for the support meeting. She was still nervous about what she had to do – still didn’t like, or agree with ‘the plan’ – but she would do it despite her misgivings. If this worked, they’d catch a killer tonight and by tomorrow morning, her life would be her own again.
She was just getting into her car after her shift at the diner when she saw the note, the bold script immediately recognizable, the words making her grin and her stomach clench with appreciation.
You’re strong, you’re amazing, and you can do this. If you need me, I’m here for you, always - C
Tucking the note inside her shirt, under her bra strap so that the words stayed close to her heart, and bolstered her courage, Lily took a deep breath – grateful that Christian would be with her through what she must do, even if only in spirit.
By the time she arrived at the church, most of the usual attendees were already milling about the basement meeting room. Some of them having taken their seats, their eyes studiously forward, others clustered in small groups while they chatted softly among themselves. But as soon as Doctor Hillary made an appearance, everyone took their seat.
“Good evening, ladies. I hope you’ve all had a great week.” A few murmurs, a small laugh, and a cough as Doctor Hillary looked around the room with a smile. “Let’s get started shall we?”
Lily felt her stomach clench and she took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves, her hand absently rising over her heart to press Christian’s note tighter to her skin. A moment of courage, a hard swallow, and she raised her hand.
Doctor Hillary looked startled, but then a pleased smile lit her face. “Yes, Lily? Would you like to share?”
Lily nodded and stood. Why she decided to do this on her feet, she had no idea – there was no rule that said you had to stand, she simply couldn’t stay seated. But she also couldn’t look at the other women around her, not yet, not when she knew that one of them was the killer. Instead, she focused on Doctor Hillary – that sweet smile, and the nod of encouragement from the doctor helped unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth. The story poured out.
“I was married to a man who hurt me.” She paused, her hands fisting and she rubbed her knuckles against her jeans as the memories swamped her. “He constantly belittled me both in public and in private. He had me followed and watched. I had no privacy,not even in the bathroom - he kept me isolated...” Another pause as heartfelt murmurs of sympathy and commiseration swelled through the room. The response, had her eyes and nose prickling with emotion, but Lily still kept her eyes trained on the doctor, anchoring herself in that patient, non-judgmental expression. She took a shaky breath before continuing. “And when he was killed in an accident, I should have been relieved, but I was so angry. It was over too quick, you know? Iwanted...” taking another breath, Lily shuddered and shook her head. Finally, she looked around the room. She saw the rapt attention of her fellow survivors;these women were her sisters, nodding in agreement and understanding, offering only support. Then she spotted the detective she hadn’t realized was even in the room, leaning against the doorway and was reminded exactly why she was doing this. She almost lost her nerve.
Swallowing hard to dislodge the lump in her throat, she silently pleaded for forgiveness as she added the words that would hopefully flush out a killer. “And now that I'm in a new relationship...” she trailed off again, her lips twisting with the bitter taste of the lie. “I can't help but wonder if I'm in some sort of pattern, like there is something about me that attracts that kind of man.” She could no longer look at the other women’s faces, her gaze fixed on a crack in the wall across the room. “He’s my neighbor, so I can’t even get away…”
Unable to continue, unable to malign Christian further, Lily sat down hard in the chair, her voice breaking as she gasped out, “I'm sorry.” And she wasn’t sure if that plea of forgiveness was to the group for her abrupt halt, or to the male who meant the world to her despite the ugly idea she’d just fed to these women. Raising a hand to her heart, she felt the note press against her skin and wanted to cry, praying that those few words had been enough.
Murmurs of commiseration swelled around her, a hand landed on her shoulder in support from one of the women sitting behind her, and Doctor Hillary offered a sad smile of understanding, her voice earnest as she offered, “If you're in a situation, Lily, and you need help, we have resources available for that purpose.”
Lily felt like she wanted to throw up but she swallowed hard and nodded. “Thank you, Doctor Hillary.”
