Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lily jumped slightly from her curled up ball on Mrs. Potter’s couch when she heard the knock at the door. Her nasal passages were too swollen from her previous crying jag for her to scent who the visitor was, but it was rather late for company. Sitting up, she swept a hand through the mess her hair had become. There was nothing she could do about her face which she was sure was blotchy, and the tight feeling around her eyes was surely a sign that they were red rimmed and swollen. At least the tears had finally dried up.
Starting to stand, Mrs. Potter waved her down. “I’m not an invalid, child. I can manage to answer my own door.”
Pulling the afghan tighter around her shoulder, Lily took a sip of her now cold tea.
“You’re bigger than I expected.” She heard Mrs. Potter say and craned her neck to see who was at the door. Her breath hitched at the sight of that sharply dressed form. What was he doing here? She had fully expected the happy reunion between husband and wife to last throughout the night. It was the reason she’d chosen to come to Mrs. Potter’s house, wanting to avoid accidentally seeing or hearing something that would utterly crush the already broken pieces of her heart.
Christian stepped through the door and she felt pain lance through her. He looked so good, having donned a suit for his wife. She imagined them together, both so elegant, and realized what a striking pair they made. Why ever would he want someone like her – a country bumpkin that had no idea about designers and fashion? Had he been slumming?
Anger hit next, hot and hard. He’d used her to scratch an itch while his wife was out of the picture.Thatwas the kind of male he was. Not the hero she’d been foolishly painting him of late. She was finally seeing the real Christian Black, and he deserved nothing but her scorn and contempt.
Launching to her feet and throwing off the blanket, Lily stomped over to Christian, righteous indignation propelling her forward, she planted her hands hard against his chest, and shoved him. “You don’t belong here. Go back to your wife,” she hissed.
The push had him stepping back slightly, but didn’t topple him on his ass as she would have preferred. Stupid giant. Snatching up her wrists into his hands, Christian’s eyes were pleading as he looked into hers. “I don’t know what she said, but Mary Beth is my ex-wife –ex,” he reiterated in case she missed it the first time. “The divorce has been final for months, Lily.”
Freezing in place she looked at him, her eyes moving over his face for a hint of a lie, her heart hitching at the sincerity in his gaze.
“I have the papers, I can show you…” Christian stopped, his face twisting with a mixture of pain and hope and he had to clear his throat before he could continue, “Please, Lily.”
“I think you two need to talk.” Mrs. Potter chimed in with a thump of her cane. “I’ll make more tea.”
Lily was only peripherally aware of walking to the couch and sitting, her body numb with this new revelation. Christian sat beside her and attempted to take her hand but she snatched it away. Her voice sounded distant as she said, “You never told me you were married, divorced, whatever… you never said.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry. I wasn’t actually trying to keep it a secret-“
“What else haven’t you told me?” She interrupted with a growl.
“I color my hair.”
That got her attention. Lily blinked, staring at him in confusion and Christian ran a hand through his hair and down his beard. “I was going gray. My hair, my beard… I lookedold.” He said with a twist of his lips, “So I started coloring it.”
If nothing else, the revelation served to lighten Lily’s mood, the pinching around her heart not quite so intense as one side of her mouth kicked up in a small smile. “Well,” she breathed and then paused to try to keep from laughing, “okay.” She finished, attempting a sober nod. “Anything else?”
“I love you.”
The words took her breath away and she swallowed hard, but luckily, before she could say something ridiculous like ‘thank you’, Christian pushed on. “I’m not saying that to get you to make a like declaration, and God knows I don’t deserve your love. I’m not a good male, Lily – even aside from the booze, I was arrogant, egotistical, selfish, and probably the worst husband ever – I own that, but I’ve changed. I’m trying to be a better person. Iwantto be that better person because I like how it feels.” He tried again to clasp her hand and this time, she let him as a lump built in her throat at the sheer sincerity bleeding through his voice. “And because I never,everwant to see the look in your eyes that I just saw when I came in here. I want to be a male that deserves you. Please,please, give me a chance to try.”
Lily would have thought that after hours of crying her tear ducts would be completely dry, but amazingly, she felt the hot gush building on her lower lashes. Letting out an inelegant sniff, she shook her head. Her breath coming in little hiccups. It had hurt so bad – too bad – the pain that comes with being vulnerable. Was she willing to put herself in that position again? To leave herself open to heartache? “I can’t.” She gasped out, not knowing if the words were for Christian or for herself. Pulling her hand free of his grip, she fisted it in her lap until her nails dug into her palm. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Christian nodded, his face ravaged by grief as he stood and looked down at her before nodding again. “I understand,” he murmured, the words breaking with emotion. “And I can’t even say I blame you.”
Lily couldn’t look at him, couldn’t speak, too close to a complete breakdown. But she heard his words, the pleading behind them, “Go through with the plan, Lily. Even if we’re not…” he coughed and took a shaky breath. “Even if we’re not together, use the plan tomorrow night to clear your name.”
A hot tear splashed onto her hand as she nodded, a moment later, Christian was gone.
The thump of Mrs. Potter’s cane proceeded her entrance and Lily grabbed up a tissue to mop up her damp face and blow her nose. “I’m sorry,” she said, attempting to smile. “I should have come help with the tea tray.”
Mrs. Potter settled down on the couch with a grunt. “It was more of an excuse to give you some privacy. I suspect if either one of us drinks any more tea, we’ll float away.”
Lily nodded and pulled the afghan around her shoulders once more. Without her anger sustaining her, her body quickly chilled despite the heat of the room.
“Your young man is quite handsome.”
Another absent nod before Lily shook her head and shot Mrs. Potter a self-deprecating smile. “He’s not mine.”
Mrs. Potter thumped her cane. “Why not? I heard him say he’s divorced.”
